Smuggler Archive
Thread: Biscuit
Moby: (on monitor) Hi.
Zorak: Biscuit!
Space Ghost: Not now.
Zorak: Biscuit!
Space Ghost: (scoots toward monitor) (to Moby) What do you want?
Moby: Well, my name's Moby, and I'm from New York City, where are you from?
Space Ghost: I'm from outer space, Moby. Home of the universe. (smile sparkles)
Zorak: Biscuit!
Moby: Are there any trouble spots in the universe, right now, that you can talk about?
Space Ghost: Yes. (beat)
Zorak: Biscuit!
Space Ghost: Sorry.
Moby: What did you think about, what was it, the Shoemaker-Levy comet that crashed into Jupiter?
Space Ghost: Shoemaker-Whatty?
Moby: The Shoemaker-Levy, it was, it was, uh, it was a three-stage comet that crashed into Jupiter.
Space Ghost: Wow.
Moby: Yeah, and they'd said that if a comet like that hit...
Space Ghost: Was that on a Tuesday? Because I think I had a guitar lesson that day.
Moby: Yeah, but you would think something like that, that's like being a, a policeman, and...
Space Ghost: Listen, I can't worry about every little snafu. I have celebrities to talk to! Like Moby!
Moby: Celebrities, huh? So celebrities are more important than the safety and well-being of...
Space Ghost: Nobody cares, Moby. (beat) Nobody cares. (beat) No one.
Moby: Are you sort of new to this interview process?
Space Ghost: I've been doing this for thousands of years, Moby.
Moby: Well, you can't tell.
Space Ghost: Oh! Well, thank you for the compliment.
Moby: It wasn't intended as one.
Space Ghost: Well, sometimes those are the best compliments of all.
Zorak: Biscuit!
Space Ghost: I'll tell ya, Moby, it sure hasn't felt like thousands of years. But I guess that's because on my planet, it's still only Tues-- Tuesday! My guitar lesson! (flies off)
(Sound of Space Ghost playing guitar badly in the background, the intro to the song "Roundabout" by the group "Yes")
Zorak: (sips coffee)
Moltar: (stares at his console, then leafs through a book)
(Sound of guitar being smashed)
Zorak: (stares wide-eyed)
Space Ghost: (bounds back to his desk)
Zorak: Hey! Biscuit! Biscuit!
Space Ghost: Not now!