Smuggler Archive
Thread: Fear and Loathing in Mos Eisley
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yimaz
Wed Dec 01, 2004 11:27 am
#1
We were somewhere around Mos Espa on the edge of the desert when the spice began to take hold. I remember saying something like “I feel a bit lightheaded; maybe you should drive...” And suddenly there was a terrible roar all around us and the sky was full of what looked like huge bats, all swooping and screeching and diving around the speeder, which was going about a hundred miles an hour with the top down to Mos Eisley.
My name is Yimayz Samoot. I am aMaster smuggler.
I spend my time drunk on brandy and high on Pixie. There is nothing more desperate and depraved than a man in the depths of a Pixie binge.
I have a Wookie friend. He is my attorney. He tells me, in Shiriiyook: “You’re going to need plenty of legal advice before this thing is over. And my first advice is that you should rent a very fast speeder with no top. This blows my weekend, because naturally I’ll have to go with you--and we’ll have to arm ourselves.”
I have8 different pistols on me, you wont find one.
I dress hipper than your Jedi.
I flirt with dancers and cute medics. I call them “Sister.”
I’ve had a Dark Jedi ask if he should kill me. I said “Go ahead,” sure that I was covert. I look up at my HAM, I see the TEF. I die. I did not try to fight him. I suspect beating upmaster smugglers makes him feel important. He has a light saber and I am not going to argue. After cloning, I sliced some containers for him and sell him some spice....cheap.
I use pistol exp for a Skill Tree that lets me speak every language, which I could already do in the first place.
I never take what is inside the containers that I slice. But I do look.
I have sliced containersfor Noobs and failed. They say "That is ok, I will find the key to open it." I say "I hear they sell them on Endor"
I park my swoop on top of AFK people /shouting for their smuggler vendor. People look at me. I tell them “What? This is perfectly reasonable place to park”
Spice and Slice is illegal, yet I sell more to Imperials than anyone else.
I have an understanding of the general dichotomy of legal and illegal. Right and Wrong.
I am in the Rebel Alliance because the girls are hotter.
I am gonzo. I will feign my death.
Yimayz Samoot
Gonzo Smuggler
I forget who wrote this originally but it was so good I wanted to bring it back for the people who are n00bz to the community. 
maxtheusher
Wed Dec 01, 2004 11:42 am
#2
Should have been on Starsider, then this could have been Fear and Loathing in Mos Vegas 
but all in all, pretty slick.
but all in all, pretty slick.
Message Edited by maxtheusher on 12-01-2004 10:43 AM
Ternque01
Wed Dec 01, 2004 11:46 am
#3
Yea, that is pretty sweet mang. Check this out: Greedo Gets his Eyeshot Box
yimaz
Wed Dec 01, 2004 12:22 pm
#5
Ternque01 wrote:
Yea, that is pretty sweet mang. Check this out: Greedo Gets his Eyeshot Box
Greedo would be crying nerf!
Kruge99
Wed Dec 01, 2004 2:30 pm
#7
I've read the "Earth" version of this and yes, the chicks in the Rebellion are hotter!!
lurdanta
Wed Dec 01, 2004 9:08 pm
#10
And He who makes a beast of himself, relieves himself of the pain of being a smuggler.
five stars for Fear and Loathing in Mos Eisley, heck for Fear and Loathing anywhere, because we know it's coming soon to a sandbox near you...
five stars for Fear and Loathing in Mos Eisley, heck for Fear and Loathing anywhere, because we know it's coming soon to a sandbox near you...
01201986
Wed Dec 01, 2004 9:56 pm
#11
lol that was great, both the comic and the original post. 5* to all!
Snutwutty
Thu Dec 02, 2004 6:27 am
#12
for clarification: underworld languages lets you speak jawa. utini!
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