Smuggler Archive

So I'm sitting in Mos Eisley cantina, minding my own business checking out the hot perfection of woman kind wrything her "thang" before me, when two people I know show up and glare. I nod at them, not really paying much attention to them as my eyes are fixatted on the 5'6 half naked Twi'Lek and thats when it happened (no, not THAT) one of the two men stood infront of me, blaster in his hand, and started screaming into my face.

"How the f**k did you hack my guild terminal? That was really low" were more or less the words drooling from his lips

"Slice your what?" I replied, my attention still on those jiggling assests

"You are the only smuggler that has access to our guild hall" He continued

"So? What the sith are you on about?" I barked back, starting to get annoyed with the man.

At this point, the other got closer too with his drawn rifle. Ironic that they really thought a number beside their name would give any kind of fright to a smuggler like me.. I've faigned death and rooted much worse scum than these guys but if acting big is how they get off, who was I to break their habbit?

"Someone's hacked our guild terminal and changed the leader. We got a guild email saying the elections had opened and then closed and that %&! is now the leader of the guild. What kind of f**king low life messes up a guild?" The other said.

"And you assume that was me?" I said, starting to understand what was going on

"Like I said, you're the only smuggler that has access. It has to be you"

Now at this point, I had clearly realised what was going on. They had suffered the "leader elections" bug where if any guild hall owned by any guild member runs out of maintenance, it cleverly decides the leader of the guild is in-active and opens elections. For whatever reason, someone in that guild had voted &%! (clearly a bug with a name) and that person had ultimately won. There obviously wasn't any guild terminal slicing going on, but this IS me we're talking about here and I really couldn't pass up an oppatunity like this to have some fun right? Right?

"What if I did. What ya gonna do about me?" I replied with a smirk.

"We f**king trusted you. I bet you stole all the money from the treasury too"

"I had to get paid for slicing it somehow, right?" I said, trying not to laugh.

"That is so f**king low. I'm gonna report you" One said, clearly trying to scare me and clearly failing myserably.

"Oh no! Reported to the authorities? What am I gonna do!" I mocked. They may not be role playing but I rarely break character and this was such a beautiful thing to play along with.

Then it finaly came, the double duel request. It would seem in their little mind, two level 80 players gunning down a level 54 smuggler is some kind of pennance. Maybe it made them feel good, maybe their own lives were so boring and uneventful that they HAD to double up on someone that clearly had no chance of winning. But I *AM* a role player and in my eyes, ignoring any duel is effectively breaking character... so with a sigh I equiped my 498 DPS renegade and looked them both in the eye, accepted the duel and blasted the rifleman with concussion.

Taking advantage ofthe obvious shock that I was actually fighting back I burst run out of the cantina, knowing I had 40 seconds before the rifleman could catch up. I had a much better chance of finishing off the pistoleer 1on1 since master pistoleer has no real advantage over smuggler besides a slight increase to speed and accuracy... so he foolishly followed me seeking his miss-guided revenge.

The second he moved out the door I concussed him, freezing him to the spot and ran to 35 meters. He blasted we once but my pistol was clearly doing more damage and he just didn't have a move that could match the power of reckless shot. So I kited him, running into 35m and letting off a volley of ranged shot and reckless shot then ran out of his range. I was averaging 3 shots to his 1, even though he had improved accuracy and speed. It took about 25 seconds before he finaly went down. I knew that meant the rifleman would be here any second, but figured I had enough time to launch a deathblow, finishing the pistoleer off.

By now my heart was pacing. I haden't expected to last long and definitely hadent expect to reduce them to 1 and clearly the inhabitants of the Cantina haddent either as this little firefight was starting to attract a crowd, especialy when the rifleman finaly appeared and opened fire. Fortunately for me, running around like crazy didn't effect my accuracy much but for him he was missing every 2-3 shots... he clearly can't have been a master rifleman, surely? But he WAS level 80, had twice my health and was taking quite large chunks out of me each time he scored a hit so I wasn't about to argue the facts. I continued with my usual tacts, hit him with dissarming shot, then ranged, then reckless. For every 1 of his shots I was managing about 4 though considering the difference in the strength of our attacks and the fact that I still had damage from the pistoleer, my health was draining fast.

Now I'm no mathmatician but I figure if I can reduce an opponents health to around half, 9 times out of 10 a last ditch blast just at the perfect moment will finish them off. Did I actually have a chance of winning this? I thought to myself... well it was certainly worth a go. I mean at the very least I got defeated by two level 80 combatants while only being level 54 myself and managed to kill one of them.. so I stopped firing and removed my default move to prevent me auto-firing. IfI was going to pull this off, I would need to be able to fire exactly when I want too with no delays from previous shots and with maximum action... the rifleman must have thought I'd given up because he too stopped relentlessly firing multiple shots and instead let his autoattack finish me off. Or atleast that was his hopes... I was one shot away from death, my health must have been at less than 100, his health was more or less 50%, this was my last and final act. An act that was worthy of a story afterwards if the unbelievable happened. I slammed my finger down on last ditch as hard as I could, eyes closed not wanting to know the outcome, and suddenly everything went quiet.

Had I died? Had I won? The sound of a /tell answered that for me. I opened my eyes to find the rifleman laying his back with a crowed laughing and cheering and a message from both the rifleman and pistoleer throwing abuse at me. In their eyes I had not only hacked their guild terminal and removed their leader, I had also just killed two of the top fighters in the guild. Well, I have to admit that in order for this to have happened they clearly WERNT top fighters but that wasn't about to rain of my victory dance. I sent one final tell to the rifleman informing him of the guild hall bug and ended it with "and next time, don't mess with a smuggler" and that was the last I heard from either of them.

I didn't slice the guild terminal, honest! But I did defeat two players nearly twice my combat level.

The End

Abandon all hope

Yep, that's how it's done, all right. Good job!

Regards,
Paul (LondonLad) - SWG Name: Veolemo Cagri
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Guild: Galatic Trade Federation (GTF) - www. tgtf.com

"The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they're going to be when you kill them."
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http://www.mingleville.com/LondonLad

dont mess with a smuggler.

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- I support NO DECAY.It should be run like EQ . No 20k price cap on the bazar and everyone can craft. Its has worked for 7 years on everquest and there is no decay plenty of money and no crazy prices.

Decay is only good for crafteres and bad for everyone else. <>

Well done mate.

Well done indeed.

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"The Hawtness is my ally, and a powerful ally it is." RIP SAAREK CARVATHOS :: AUG 4, 2005
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S A A R E K "SIR WANKSALOT" C A R V A T H O S _Starsider. && _Corbantis.
M A S T E R S C O U N D R E L I AM JACK'S IGNORED PROFESSION
C O A L I T I O N O F T H E L O S T S M U G G L E R S .

oooooooooooooooooo
Colonel Narayan Darkfly (RIP)
Master Smuggler
Eclipse

The Awful Truth [now santized for family friendly fun]: One Two Three Four Five Six

Badge, after I capped the rifleman they both spammed me for about 5 minutes with /tells saying I'm cheating and using hacks and stuff like that so I made one reply to the rifleman telling him about the guild hall bug and how they can use it to their advtange to force a new election to get the real leader back and ended it with my "don't mess with a smuggler" line and they both didn't reply to me after that and I didn't see them around Eisley afterwards either so I'm guessin they are feeling kinda foolish

By the way, for those wondering when this occured it was late last night (well late for me being English) on Starsider. It was over in a matter of seconds though, but it was easily the highlight of my day ... especialy considering I have been having real sleep issues over the past week and managed to fight off these two and win with about 4 hours of sleep in 7 days... hehe

This wasn't the first time people have quized me about someone slicing their guild terminal... yet another bug in the game that people assume is the result of a smuggler.

I have to admit though, I would LOVE to be able to slice a guild terminal

Abandon all hope

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"Play a non-Jedi"..
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