Smuggler Archive

The following is a brief recollection oflast night's events:

It is done. As of last night, Naritus has its first MASTER Gonzo Smuggler.

I celebrated this fact by going immediately to the Theed cantina and getting ripping drunk. After I awoke in the Theed River, covered in mud, stung out on Pixie andnext to a Twi-Lek las who's name escapes me at the moment, I set about slicing things at random: Droids, Stromtroopers, Peku-Peku. I didn't always cut the right wires, as they kept changing color (what, there's no yellow wire.... gah.. whatever.. uh oh.. now its green.. I gotta lay off the muon...") but it was kinghell fun nonetheless.

As I sat, fighting off the urge to do something highly, and obviously,illegal, nursing the last bit of my brandy, an old man approached me, muttering something about "Glowing with theFours"...I figured hewas some cultist or something... one of the Theed Masons, coming to indoctrinate me into their weirdrituals. It was precisely at this time thatI happened to remember that I had someLecamprimine Mace left over from my stint in the Empire as a scout (I was dishonorably dischraged.. something about"improper conduct"). I took the canister from my pocket and promply blasted him in the face. "Keep yourGlowing Fours awayfrom me. Look at those arches. those spires. Masons. Mason everywere." I got up and run back into Theed to lose myself in the masses, desperatly looking for a means of fast transportantion to somewhere less savory. So I bought a ticket to...

Mos Eisley. There I met my attorney and we proceeded to go on a 6 hour Muon binge the likes of which even the dirtiest Rodian brothel inmatescould not imagine. We were laying out front of the cantina, spray painting"I brake for Rebels" on the back of an AT-ST when some stormtroopers came running out after us. "Hey stop, You can't do that!" As they were drawing their blasters my attoreny handed me something, a firework. Brilliant. I aimed thebastage at the Mos Eisely Ronto stable, full of hay dry after a long summer, and shot it off.There was some sort of loud noise, and flaming jawas, and the sky was filled with a thousand multicolored stars... Notably distracted, we moved past the stormtroopers down an alley, we cameupon an old HOBO, who smiled, knowing the glint of spice and alcoholon my face, and gave us two tickets to the shuttle port, withoutword.We took them and ran to the shuttle port. As we left, I stare dout the window at thescene below and smiled. I had Mastered the profession... We flew off into the Tatooine night sky, ablaze with flaming ronto **edit**e.....

Krex Jarka
Gonzo Smuggler

"Smugglers: We don't make the things you buy. We make the things you buy better"

LMAO.....so so true, happens to me all the time, but Gold is my downfall.

dammit, I lost my wallet again.

SYBOOTH...A Zombie stole my PANTS !!
________________Jorras Thri v lvl 31 Imperial Medic

Virrago - (9/21/2006)
[Stating that the subpar smuggling system would be pushed to LIVE]
"...and to clarify.... It would require another publish (in other words not chapter 3)"
Smugglers History - Written by the DEV'sv Imperial Holo-ReportvMerchant ~ Talus -2310 36 -2164

Five stars alone just for that line

Funiest thing i read all week

RIP SWG
Who wants my stuff?

Krex Jarka
Gonzo Smuggler

"Smugglers: We don't make the things you buy. We make the things you buy better"

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Sun-Tzu  Jedi Knight
"I sense a plot to destroy the jedi..."