Smuggler Archive

First Pepperpot We'll have to watch the telly then.
Second Pepperpot Yes
The pepperpots swivel round to look at the TV set in the corner of the room.
First Pepperpot What's that on the tellevision then?
Second Pepperpot Looks like a penguin.
First Pepperpot No, no, no, I didn't mean what's on the television set, I meant what programme.
Second Pepperpot Oh.
Second Pepperpot It's funny that penguin being there innit? What's it doing there?
First Pepperpot Standing.
Second Pepperpot I can see that!
First Pepperpot If it lays an egg, it will fall down the back of the television set.
Second Pepperpot We'll have to watch that. Unless it's a male.
First Pepperpot Ooh, I never thought of that.
Second Pepperpot Yes, looks fairly butch.
First Pepperpot Per'aps it's from next door.
Second Pepperpot Penguins don't come from next door, they come from the Antarctic.
First Pepperpot Burma.
Second Pepperpot Why did say Burma?
First Pepperpot I panicked.
Second Pepperpot Oh. Perhaps it's from the zoo.
First Pepperpot Which zoo?
Second Pepperpot How should I know which zoo? I'm not Doctor bloody Bernowski.
First Pepperpot How does Doctor Bernowski know which zoo it came from?
Second Pepperpot He knows everything.
First Pepperpot Oooh, I wouldn't like that, that'd take all the mystery out of life. Anyway, if it came from the zoo, it would have 'property of the zoo' stamped on it.
Second Pepperpot No it wouldn't. They don't stamp animals 'property of the zoo'. You can't stamp a huge lion.
First Pepperpot They stamp them when they're small.
Second Pepperpot What happens when they moult?
First Pepperpot Lions don't moult.
Second Pepperpot No, but penguins do. There, I've run rings around you logically.
First Pepperpot Oh, intercourse the penguin.
TV Announcer It's just gone 8 o'clock and time for the penguin on top of your television set to explode.
First Pepperpot How did he know that was going to happen?!
TV Announcer It was an inspired guess. And now...

Let me guess, you didn't uncrate your penguin before the patch? I'd strongly advise sending in a CSR ticket immediately and keep sending them every hour on the hour.

I thought slicing penguins was part of the nerf/upgrade

Well actually slicing penguins was part of the combat upgrade. But it turned out to be useless because melee got the nerf bat.

Just remember, you can't spell penguin without P...I...E.

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Dragon942 wrote:
Well actually slicing penguins was part of the combat upgrade. But it turned out to be useless because melee got the nerf bat.

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No, penguin slicing was supposed to be in Plan "P" but we never got that far down the line, so they added it as a "feature" to Plan "B".

Have you double checked to make sure your penguin converted correctly? I think you may have gotten the bug that reverts some penguins to puffin status.

Put a red rubber glove on the Penguin's head. Most people will mistake it for a rooster. Then you can let a room in your flat to 'im. He may be a diamond-thief, but e's the perfect houseguest.

Next thing you know...

"Gromit, I've got the wrong trousers" (waves hands helplessly as he marches outside) This is the part with cybernetic legs.

High-speed chase through the apartment on a train track...

Get the bloke stuck in a milk bottle...

Slice him for 25% damage and ship 'im back to the zoo where 'e belongs.

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maxtheusher wrote:
First Pepperpot We'll have to watch the telly then.
Second Pepperpot Yes
The pepperpots swivel round to look at the TV set in the corner of the room.
First Pepperpot What's that on the tellevision then?
Second Pepperpot Looks like a penguin.
First Pepperpot No, no, no, I didn't mean what's on the television set, I meant what programme.
Second Pepperpot Oh.
Second Pepperpot It's funny that penguin being there innit? What's it doing there?
First Pepperpot Standing.
Second Pepperpot I can see that!
First Pepperpot If it lays an egg, it will fall down the back of the television set.
Second Pepperpot We'll have to watch that. Unless it's a male.
First Pepperpot Ooh, I never thought of that.
Second Pepperpot Yes, looks fairly butch.
First Pepperpot Per'aps it's from next door.
Second Pepperpot Penguins don't come from next door, they come from the Antarctic.
First Pepperpot Burma.
Second Pepperpot Why did say Burma?
First Pepperpot I panicked.
Second Pepperpot Oh. Perhaps it's from the zoo.
First Pepperpot Which zoo?
Second Pepperpot How should I know which zoo? I'm not Doctor bloody Bernowski.
First Pepperpot How does Doctor Bernowski know which zoo it came from?
Second Pepperpot He knows everything.
First Pepperpot Oooh, I wouldn't like that, that'd take all the mystery out of life. Anyway, if it came from the zoo, it would have 'property of the zoo' stamped on it.
Second Pepperpot No it wouldn't. They don't stamp animals 'property of the zoo'. You can't stamp a huge lion.
First Pepperpot They stamp them when they're small.
Second Pepperpot What happens when they moult?
First Pepperpot Lions don't moult.
Second Pepperpot No, but penguins do. There, I've run rings around you logically.
First Pepperpot Oh, intercourse the penguin.
TV Announcer It's just gone 8 o'clock and time for the penguin on top of your television set to explode.
First Pepperpot How did he know that was going to happen?!
TV Announcer It was an inspired guess. And now...

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Ah, very interesting...and tell us again how sheep's bladders can be used to predict the weather...