Smuggler Archive
Thread: I was wandering around in the DONT BELIEVE THIS web site when... got it finished
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DragonSnack
Fri Jan 07, 2005 8:23 pm
#1
While wandering around in the web site I found a letter posted to the game discussion forum site.
I'm only posting a portin fo the leter because I'm certainly not ging to believe this. But...
I'm only posting a portin fo the leter because I'm certainly not ging to believe this. But...
(excerpt form the post)
MY second cousin was in Texas for th eOSU-OSU bowl game when he overheard a conversation at the next table.
MY second cousin was in Texas for th eOSU-OSU bowl game when he overheard a conversation at the next table.
Apparently they people at the table were originally two groups. another group of bowlers and a couple of local people. One was rather nerdish looking and the other was rather seedy looking.
Anyway my second cousion happened to overhear the nerdish one mention tht he and he friend were newly hired by SONY to work on a revamp. Since my second cousin is nort really that stupid he recognized SONT and revamp as a couple of words I often used- mostly when I run outta swear words- so rather than join in the discussion ( he didn't have to buy any rounds this way) he continued to listen.
What he over heard was that the nerdish one was working on revamping a prof called Master Commando and the seedy lookingone was assigned toi the team working on the Smuggler revamp.
Now my second cousin isn't the brightest buld in the universe but he did manage to remember that I had a Smuggler toon in a SONY game so he didn't pay any attention to what was said about the Copmmando
However he did try to pay attention to what was said about the Smugglers.
It seems the seedy lookinbg guy was assigned to the Smuggler revamp team because he looked seedy. Since the Smuggler was supposed to be a major Star Warsy character the team was made up of 5 programmers. About a half hour after the team first met the SONY Big Brass decided to reassign four of the programmers to the Dancer/Musician combat skills development team and the seedy guy was told to solo the Smuggler stuff if he had the time.
Anyway what my second cousin heard was the seedy guy said he spent a few minutes learning all about the smuggler profession; He said it only took a few minutes because the smuggeler profession was so botched up that it only took a few minutes to learn it all.
However he did try to pay attention to what was said about the Smugglers.
It seems the seedy lookinbg guy was assigned to the Smuggler revamp team because he looked seedy. Since the Smuggler was supposed to be a major Star Warsy character the team was made up of 5 programmers. About a half hour after the team first met the SONY Big Brass decided to reassign four of the programmers to the Dancer/Musician combat skills development team and the seedy guy was told to solo the Smuggler stuff if he had the time.
Anyway what my second cousin heard was the seedy guy said he spent a few minutes learning all about the smuggler profession; He said it only took a few minutes because the smuggeler profession was so botched up that it only took a few minutes to learn it all.
The programmer decided that the existing smuggler set was almost complete and the after the non combatant revmp these skills could be fixed. At the point he decide that a few additional commands and skills added to Smuggler along with the replacment of ther spice tree with another set of skills would be all that it took to complete the profession given the budget costs and the time frame for him to complete the revamp.
the seedy looking guy said that the Spice tree would be removed because Smuggflers didn't make spices the only carried them form one place to another. He is replacing the spice tree with a SABAC tree. SABAC I, SABAC II, SABAC III, and SABAC IV. He said this is easily done becasue all he had to do was give the smuggler the "cards" and set up a random number generater which would allow the first level to win 1% of the time, and to then increment the winning chance by 1 per cent for each additional level obtained. XP of 5 points would only be given for winning hands and the XP needed for the next level would be the same amoutas the spice tree used so he would 'nt ahve to redo those calculations.
the seedy looking guy said that the Spice tree would be removed because Smuggflers didn't make spices the only carried them form one place to another. He is replacing the spice tree with a SABAC tree. SABAC I, SABAC II, SABAC III, and SABAC IV. He said this is easily done becasue all he had to do was give the smuggler the "cards" and set up a random number generater which would allow the first level to win 1% of the time, and to then increment the winning chance by 1 per cent for each additional level obtained. XP of 5 points would only be given for winning hands and the XP needed for the next level would be the same amoutas the spice tree used so he would 'nt ahve to redo those calculations.
My second cousin also heard him mention a few of the new Smuggler use only commands.Exception note: Althogh any player can use the first command only a Smuggler has been certified in its use.
The following is what my second cousin could remember of what was said.
The following is what my second cousin could remember of what was said.
The first command is named: FEIGN LIFE - a DoT attack command with 2 spoecials. the specials only increased the radius of the attack. The ticks for the attacks were all the same a three second time between ticks.
My second cousin remembers that there was no counter to this attack and it was uniformly fatal to any characters within the "blast radius". All smugglers are immune to this command
The graphics and the actions depicted would be runin the following sequence:
1. Upon launching the attack the attacker preforms a /shout "I havve a life. so I'm logging off to enjoy it" command.
2. All characters within the "blast radius" immediately points at the attacker, assums a prone position and commences to ROFLTAO at the attacker. This action drains the attacked character's mind pool and eventually incaps the character 3 times causing death.
3. The attacker then executes an exit command and goes LD.
My second cousin remembers that there was no counter to this attack and it was uniformly fatal to any characters within the "blast radius". All smugglers are immune to this command
The graphics and the actions depicted would be runin the following sequence:
1. Upon launching the attack the attacker preforms a /shout "I havve a life. so I'm logging off to enjoy it" command.
2. All characters within the "blast radius" immediately points at the attacker, assums a prone position and commences to ROFLTAO at the attacker. This action drains the attacked character's mind pool and eventually incaps the character 3 times causing death.
3. The attacker then executes an exit command and goes LD.
The second command is a skill associated with Slicing and is available only to a Master Smuggler: PATCH This skill can only be used on pants or leggings, or on shirts, bracers,and bicep armor pieces. The olny tool required is a laser knife and some looted wire. The wire is obtained as loot by the JTL smugglers.
When a set of leggings or pants are patched the portion located in the rear area equalvalent to the vicinity between a human's waist and a humans of the pants or leggings that would end up between a human's legs would be replaced by a multi-colored panel.
When PATCHing a shirt or arm armor a portion of the armor that is located behind the equavalent fo a human's elbow would be replaced by a thinn pice of Nuna hide. The nuna hide must be obtained from a Master Command with at least novice Scout skills.
When a set of leggings or pants are patched the portion located in the rear area equalvalent to the vicinity between a human's waist and a humans of the pants or leggings that would end up between a human's legs would be replaced by a multi-colored panel.
When PATCHing a shirt or arm armor a portion of the armor that is located behind the equavalent fo a human's elbow would be replaced by a thinn pice of Nuna hide. The nuna hide must be obtained from a Master Command with at least novice Scout skills.
The last commmand my second cousin could remember was named SMUGGLE
This command is given to all novice Smugglers and does not have any specials nor does it increase in any way as the Smuggler makes his way to Master Smuggler.
When this command is used by any Smuggler a system message is immediately posted to the command user's screen that states "Any you thought we cared about Smugglers. Your revamp has been shifted to be done after a Nuna's fly!"
AT this point the Smugler's game session is terminated and all clamps, lasr knives,a nmd fans are placed inside a locked container.
This command is given to all novice Smugglers and does not have any specials nor does it increase in any way as the Smuggler makes his way to Master Smuggler.
When this command is used by any Smuggler a system message is immediately posted to the command user's screen that states "Any you thought we cared about Smugglers. Your revamp has been shifted to be done after a Nuna's fly!"
AT this point the Smugler's game session is terminated and all clamps, lasr knives,a nmd fans are placed inside a locked container.
End of post.
I don't really believe any of what the seedy guy said but ther's a post on the commando forum that mentions a group of friends being in Texas for that game and having a conversation. in a hotel bar, with a SONY programmer talking about a commando revvamp.
BTW if you happen to have any additional skills or commands I'd like the hear about them
Since I have a problem hititng the correct keys I dint even reread this to correct any errors.
Can't type or Smuggle - bad day all around.
How'd I get this on top??
Message Edited by DragonSnack on 01-07-2005 11:01 PM
Message Edited by DragonSnack on 01-07-2005 11:04 PM
Message Edited by DragonSnack on 01-08-2005 12:11 AM
Message Edited by DragonSnack on 01-08-2005 12:25 AM
NickHeel
Fri Jan 07, 2005 8:29 pm
#2
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can't stand the suspense! 
/feigndeath
Ternque01
Fri Jan 07, 2005 8:32 pm
#3
NickHeel wrote:
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can't stand the suspense!
/feigndeath
*calls his Jedi friend with Heal All States*
Durinthiam
Fri Jan 07, 2005 8:32 pm
#4
NickHeel wrote:OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I can't stand the suspense!/feigndeath
/panicshot
Ternque01
Fri Jan 07, 2005 8:35 pm
#5
NickHeel wrote:
Ternque01 wrote:
NickHeel wrote:
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can't stand the suspense!
/feigndeath
*calls his Jedi friend with Heal All States*
Oh why don't you bend over and lick my ass hair lol
Hahaha, I would, but not even hitting you with a crane would move you from FD to expose your backside.
*waits for his Jedi friend to arrive.....*
NickHeel
Fri Jan 07, 2005 8:37 pm
#6
Durinthiam wrote:
NickHeel wrote:
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can't stand the suspense!
/feigndeath
/panicshot
That might have been funny if Panic Shot wasn't INTIRELY AND UDDERLY USELESS!?!!!*$@!)
Wait...why did I /feigndeath then? *is caught in a perplexing situation* 
NickHeel
Fri Jan 07, 2005 8:38 pm
#7
Feel free to ruin my HAM and Battle Fatigue as well as decay your weapons (unless you wish to go bare knuckle) while you wait 
*doesn't use armor* 
Ternque01
Fri Jan 07, 2005 8:41 pm
#8
NickHeel wrote:
Feel free to ruin my HAM and Battle Fatigue as well as decay your weapons (unless you wish to go bare knuckle) while you wait
*doesn't use armor*
*Jedi friend arrives and waves his hand*
Soon you will realize the destruction of this fully armed and operational No Text thread!!!!
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