Smuggler Archive

After the revealing of the new 'slicing' (don't even get me started on the idiotic high-end mob drop crap, but I digress), I drifted to sleep, only to be awakened by a horrific nightmare. To follow is a brief recollection of that dream, which left me awakened and bathed in a cold sweat....

*slowly fade to black.... slowly fade in the familiar sight of Jabba's throne room, in all of it's splendor and glory*

"Oh, dear!", whined the slighty rusted, and somewhat abused protocol droid, in his usual nasally voice.

"What's the matter?", I queried, sneering slighty, as that droid always did grate my nerves.

"Master Jabba is most upset!", the droid replied, with a sense of concern that startled me... seeing as circuits shouldn't be able to reverberate such emotional stress.

I snickered, checking quicky beforehand that Jabba himself had his gaze occupied elsewhere, why take chances! "And what's 'ol Jabba upset about this time?".

The droid, fidgeting quite more than usual, blurted, "It seems that EVERY available stockpile of spice in the galaxy was stolen, and every spice mine known has been utterly destroyed!".

I raised my eyebrows, as he continued, "And if that were not enough, every sentient being in the universe who possesed knowledge of creating slicing equipment and accesories, has woken today with complete amnesia, and can barely bypass the security protocols of a toaster!"

"Egads!", I exclaimed. "How in the heck could that happen? ALL of the spice, everywhere?", I asked, as I realized that I myself could probably only barely slice the zipper in my trousers after this morning, so avoided that part of his worries.

"It seems that the Nightsisters stole it all!", the droid replied. "They packed it all into cargo ships, and sent off three armadas!"

"Oh?", I asked quite puzzled. "Where did the three armadas head to?"... Hmmmm. I thought. This might be a good chance for some credits, my luck hasn't been that good lately!.

"It seems that one armada has landed near some location, known only as The Deathwatch Bunker. The second has been reported at the Nightsister's very stronghold itself. And the third was intercepted by Imperial ships over this very planet! But, alas, every spice laiden cargo ship was shot down, and hordes of krayt dragons have consumed every last bit of surviving spice!", the droid rambled, quite animatedly.

Looking over at Jabba, I leaned my head to one side and asked, "So... what does the boss want to do about all of this mess?"

"Oh, master Jabba has quite a splendid plan!", rattled on the droid. "Every available smuggler must go to the Nightsister Stronghold, the ancient krayt graveyard, and this bunker located on Endor. Master Jabba orders that every available hand slay these vile fiends, remove the spice from their dead bodies, and return it into the galaxy's supply chain! Oh, and they are strongly advised to bring outdoor camping gear, changes of fresh undergarments, and plenty of health insurance and Bandaids!".

*slowly fade to black*

... Vraell T'Viir

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Cold sweats...

/hideUnderTheCovers

Tawd
Master Smuggler, Master Pistoleer
Lok- Ahazi
"The poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese."
-G.K. Chesterton