Smuggler Archive
Thread: A chuckle for the smuggler
FelisConcolor01
Sun Jul 04, 2004 4:52 am
#950
TsN-Wizzer wrote:
Ok got a new one from last night:
I am sitting in a PA sized mall slicing for some friends when I get a tell to slice some Comp Armor, So I give the guy the WP and he meets me there.
Hands me all 9 pieces and I start in,
Me: 25% effectivness
Him: Cool!
Me: 22% Efffectiveness
Him: Awesome
Me: 30% Encumbrance
Him: Damn it, I wanted effectiveness, No worries tho, keep going
Me: 33% Encumbrance
Him: Dang.
Me: You have now angered the Server gods, if you want the Slice you request you Now must Dance the Effectiveness Dance! (no KIidding, I said this)
Him: Your Kidding right?
Me: I Do not kid about the Server gods, Dance!!
(he starts doing some wierd Sit down Stand up Maco and Jittering all over the place)
Me: 40% encumbrance, KEEP DANCING!
(at this point everyone around me is dancing for this guy, all of the rest of the slices were encumbrance)
Me: Your dancing Did not appease the Server gods
All in all the guy was cool about it and we had a good laugh, Itipped him back like 10k Just cause I enjoyed the show. Was so Amazingly funny.
OMG that was funny!
FelisConcolor01
Sun Jul 04, 2004 5:07 am
#951
Ok, I've been a Master Smuggler for over 4 months now and really have not had a moron customer till 2 nights ago (been lucky I guess). I was at Dune Retreat (Scylla Server) waiting for a shuttle when a bothan comes up to me...
Bothan:Can you slice the helmet for me?
Me: Sure 4k per item
Bothan:K (trades)
Me: (Notices that is a bone helmet) You sure you want to slice this?You can get better armor and will last longer than this.
Bothan: Yes
Me: (Sighing tomyself) KK
I preceed to slice... 34% encumbrance slice (thinking to myself wasted on a cheap *** armor) Trade it back to him as the shuttle arrives.
Me:Need anything else?
Bothan: No, thanks.
I wait about 10 seconds just in case he has any questions or comments, which he doesn't, so I hope onto the shuttle to Mos Entha (doing the Hero Quest). Then I get a tell from him...
Bothan: You ruined my armor, I want me money back!
Me: What?! I did not and I will not give you your money back.
Bothan: You did too! You lower some numbers on my armor. If you don't give me my money back, I'm going to tell my big bro (I chuckle at this) and my guild about you!
Me:Yes, I did lower the encumbrance on your armor.
Bothan: See! You did ruin my armor! Give me my money back!
Me: Fat chance of getting your money back. I did lower the encumbrance... it makes it easier for you to wear it, it takes less HAM off of you. *gets ready to add him to my ignore list*
Bothan:...
Bothan:.....
Bothan:.......
Bothan: Oh.
Noobs
Kalar Garner
Master Smuggler / Master Pistoleer
<FH>
RhyonCytari
Sun Jul 04, 2004 9:50 am
#952
I'm standing around in Theed talking to some of my guildies in group chat. A customor comes up asking me to slice his weapons only if I have 90%+ slice tools. I reply to him explaining that the slice tool quality has no effect on the outcome of the slice and he continues to question me and keep responding that I'm sure of it. So here's where it gets interesting:
I tell him that I charge 4k per slice (I'm having lots of trouble charging any higher on Eclipse...which is disappointing to me)
Customer: Isn't the going rate 100credits/% on this server?
Me: Yes, there are some smugglers who charge that low, but I charge 4k per slice.
Customer: I see....I'd rather poke my eyes out with a hot needle then be strapped over a barrel by some smarty that has to gouge customers....no thanks.
Me: I'm not trying to be smart with you, nor gouge prices.
Customer: Whatever...go find another pasty...I'm sorry I bothered you.
Me: /addignore 
I've never gotten such a response fromsomeone who was unhappy with slicing prices. There are some who just say 'no thanks' when I tell them my pricing but he actually seemed to be angry at me for some reason. It was funny....had the next customer come up....got him a couple damage slices that were both around 30%....the customer then gave me a nice tip added upon my asking price 
YettiBoy
Mon Jul 05, 2004 12:59 pm
#953
wow this is just great i have been reading for about 4 hours now and stoped at about x-mas. i hope to soon join you all with the smuggler title.
AtonWotog
Mon Jul 05, 2004 4:40 pm
#954
This is the best thread ever! I'm still only on page 22.
I'm still only on page 22.Heres my story that happened to me just today though its not too funny.
I was outside of Coronet killing meatlump bafoons looking for orange rug componets and other stuff when I get a tell from a guy who I saw was killing bafoons.
Guy: I'll sell you 7 contianers for 10k each.
Me
I did'nt have a lot of money so I tried to bargain with him) How about 5k each?
I did'nt have a lot of money so I tried to bargain with him) How about 5k each?Guy: I could probaly sell them for 6k on the bazzar instantly...
Me: Fine, how about 6k then?
No response...
Me: Is 6k good?
Still no response...
Me:???
So I walked over to were I saw him killing meatlumps and started to kill the ones he was attacking just to annoy him. I continue to imidiatly attack the bufoons when they spawn before he can. I probaly killed 75% of the ones were he was. Finaly I say is spatial...
Me: So are you going to answer my question?
After a while he responds...
Guy: You know I'm just going to hang onto to them.
At that time the meatlump I just killed I looted 2 containers from.
Me: Fine I just looted 2 containers anyway.
Guy: Good for you
So later when I opened them 1 had another container in it. And I also probaly looted 2000 credits from the bufoons.
Hopefuly I'll have better storys later.
JTGAlpha
Mon Jul 05, 2004 5:08 pm
#955
Heh. Some people just don't understand the concept of "Money in the hand." You should have told him, "Fine, sell them on the bazaar for six k a pop and I'll buy them then, and save myself 4k a container."
Apeso
Mon Jul 05, 2004 11:40 pm
#956
The other day me and a friend of mine decided to start the hero quests. First one on our list was Altrusim. After hours of searching for the farmer that gives out the mission, we finally make it to the cave, kill all the baddies, and are about to lead the farmer's wife and kid to safety. On our way out, a bunch of those pirates (I forget what they're called...) spawned and agroed on me JUST at the moment my buffs ran out. I followed my smuggler's instinct and feigned death right away. The wife and her kid, thinking I had died, walked to the back of the cave. I stood up and burst ran back there (Pirates still on my tail) to try and catch them, shouting, "Noooooo!" But it was too late...
And I never did find that farmer again and I still don't have my stinkin' badge!! >:{
And I never did find that farmer again and I still don't have my stinkin' badge!! >:{
Jaxin_Riens
Mon Jul 05, 2004 11:50 pm
#957
Very old story way back before i dropped smuggler but still funny.
Customer: Hey could you slice some composite aremor for me?
Me: sure
Customer: What do you charge i don't have alot of money?
Me: 4.5k per piece 9 peices to a suit so 40.5k total
Customer: I don't have that much is there anything youd take in trade?
Me: Sure what do you have?
Customer: Well ive got some tusken rifles and this crystal thingy.
Me: (Being the scoundrel i am) because im a nice guy ill do it for the crystal.
Customer: you will awsome
Me: *slices and recieves crystal as payment
an hour later
me: hey jedi friend can you look at this crystal.
trade
Jedi: Holy Sh*t where did you get this?
Me: what guy traded it to me for slicing soem armor
Jedi: Stats are +131 min max -.78 speed 4 force cost
Me: sweet
needless to say i sold that crystal for 900k so if you go by my pricing thats 100k per piece, if only we could charge that much.
JTGAlpha
Tue Jul 06, 2004 12:29 am
#958
Yeah, had one like that the other day.
Cust: "Wow. 250%? That's a lot? I like solid figures. How about 4k per piece of armor?"
Me: (psh. how about I just do it for free? No.) "Sorry, my slicing prices are non-negotiable."
Cust: "Okay. I guess I'll just find someone else. That's just too much."
Me: "Fair enough."
......Hours Later, As I'm Slicing for Someone While Waiting on a Client....
CheapoCustomer: "Well I decided I'd go with you after all. There isn't anyone else!!"
<--Knew that when he looked up Smuggler on the search function.
baslisks
Tue Jul 06, 2004 11:45 am
#960
Nice "loot". I love peopel who trade the good stuff for slices.
007gohan
Tue Jul 06, 2004 11:54 am
#961
I have been reading this for 2 hours. This stuff is hilarious. I hope to have my own stories soon. Im trying to become smuggler.
Thochkored
Tue Jul 06, 2004 1:06 pm
#962
I reached Slicer last week and have had my first price negotiation and thanks to this board I knew how to handle it.
Cust: Are you slicing
Me: yes
Cust: Can you slice my Armor
Me: Sure, how many pieces
Cust: 5
Me: I'll do it for 20K
Cust: 10, k
Me: ? 20
Cust: 15
Me: 20
Cust: fine
I had four slices below 20% and I didn't feel bad because of it.
Also I had someone ask me to open some containers, I declined the work, but offered to find them someone who needed the XP and I would provide the clamps. Well I send a tell to a novice who I just talked to and he was eager to come and open the containers. He asks, "What's a clamp?" So, I tell him and start crafting some for him. When he arrives I try to trade with him and he tells me he already knows what wire to cut. For some reason the customer doesn't want to do the trade by the banking terminals and they take off, so I'm trying to chase them down and explain to the guy that it isn't always the same wire. Well he finally took the clamps and thanked me for the work. Last thing I needed was this guy screwing up and ruining my reputation.