Smuggler Archive

Heres my latest , Kind of similiar to another reply.

Im on endor smuggler outpost dawning my Master Smuggler title, Feeling at home Then some random pistoleer with the title Trickshot yells out "Smuggler Suck".

Me: Why do you say we suck ?

Trickshot smuggler hater : Because I own all smugglers in a duel!

Me: Oh ya? try me. ( as soon as I said that he comes up to me and challenges me to a duel, by this time we have a crowd watching us.)

As soon as I accept he tells me I can have the first shot...( BIG MISTAKE) I hit him with low blow then panic shot , by that time i was on top of him pointing my pistol directly over his head, hes yelling out "**edit**" then I end hislife with a last ditch 1500 damage.

After the fight he asks me how come im so strong and I told him not to under estimate smugglers becuase we have a kick ass pistol line. Now this guy is on his way to becoming a smuggler , go figure. Also the following day he asks if I can slice his weapons heh.

The other day, I was standing around the Bestine starport talking to some friends, and I get a tell from a guy asking if I could slice a container for him.. I say "Sure I'm in front of the starport, containers are free."

Anyhoo, so he opens a trade, and hands me two containers: 4 units of Avian meat, and 4 units of Reptilian meat.

*silence for a few seconds*

"Did you slice them?"

"The meat?"

"Yes"

"I can't slice meat, only locked containers"

"Oh..." *trades the meat back*

I didn't think of it at the time, but I wanted to ask if he wanted it "Deli thin" or "Sandwhich sized". When I told my friends (Whom I was talking to before the customer..) about the incident, they laughed their asses off. They are both Master Smugglers.

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IhamSandwhich wrote:

"I can't slice meat, only locked containers"

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Drying tears. Very good one!

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IhamSandwhich wrote:

"I can't slice meat, only locked containers"

"Oh..." *trades the meat back*

I didn't think of it at the time, but I wanted to ask if he wanted it "Deli thin" or "Sandwhich sized". When I told my friends (Whom I was talking to before the customer..) about the incident, they laughed their asses off. They are both Master Smugglers.

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LOL Maybe we should open a deli. I can see it now "welcome to the Slicers's deli", have you meat and pistols ready.

Wow give me a break. I couldnt even make it past waerbgloofin's ridiculously lame stories, much less 5 or 6 pages of it? Come on.. what kind of smuggler talk is this? Lets grow up here

I got one...

I'm standing in Coronet when this super tall and SKINNY Wookiee comes up to me and goes:

Wookiee: Hey, got some spice, man?

Me: Naw, I don't have any made right now

Wookiee: C'mon man, I need the spice!

Me: I ain't got none

Wookiee: You sure? I wanna get blazed! I need the spice, man!

Me: *sigh* Well, I can make some Thrusterhead for you. That's about the only thing I can make right now, I'm kinda outta resources.

Wookiee: What's it do?

Me: Dunno (Was still grinding spices, so I really didn't pay attention to what spices did what at the time)

Wookiee: Alright man, just gimme whatever you got, I wanna get spiced out! Blazed!

Me: Heh, ok. (proceed to make some TH for the druggie Wookiee <grin>

Wookiee: Wow, thanks man! Spice! (I'm assuming he downs one)

After a bit

<emote> Wookiee pukes (insert sound of choking cat)

Me: You should really stay away from that stuff, man. It'll kill you.

And another one....

Coming back from an AWESOME night of hunting with a good friend of mine, we arrive at a starport on Corellia (Can't remember, think it was Kor Vella). I was only at Slicing4 at the time, and like a dork, the title was up.

Dweeb: Hey, can you slice my gun?

Me: That's what I do, whatcha need?

Dweeb: How much you charge?

Me: 100cr per %

Dweeb: Ok (We trade)

Me: Ouch, 18% speed, no charge.(I think, dunno it wasa low slicewhatever it was, and yes, I don't charge for slices under 20%)

We trade back, and he tips me 2K.

Dweeb: Weak slice, man.

Me: Yeah, too bad for you. (I really wasn't wanting to deal with the boner, I already knew it wasn't one of my better slices)

He then proceeds to run off, only to turn around, come back to me and then I get one word in spatial from him. To put it lightly, he called me a slang term of a cigarette, or to be more blunt someone who prefers the, um, same secks.

Me and my friend laughed so hard it killed us. I guess it took him a whole bunch of brain power for that one. one of the best times I've had on the game.

Oh, forgot one other little tidbit.....

Dontcha just love it when you're sitting there talking to friends or waiting for someone somewhere, and you got your Master (read MASTER) Smuggler title up, and you get a tell from some random Joe Schmuck asking, "Are you a Master Slicer?"........Ummmmm........

I love my Dirty Fighting. So much in fact, that I run around wearing the "Rogue" title instead of Master Smuggler. I think it's cooler, plus it reduces the amount of "cna u slice 4 me?" spam when I'm trying to run missions with my friends.

However, it seems that nobody knows what the Rogue title is, and I often get asked about it.

normal spelling errors and grammatical slips being forgiven, I still get somewhat disgusted by people who type so poorly that it can be a chore to decipher what they say. I was browsing the missions in my home town when this guy runs up to me and starts talking.

guy says, "wat iz rouge?"
boost'r says, "it's French for the color red"
guy says, "oh wat a stooped tilte"
boost'r says, "oh you mean rogue? he's someone who uses cheap tricks to fight dirty"

guy runs off without saying a word

granted this one's not the funniest thing that's happened to me in game, but it was memorable

I was popping into the Bestine shuttleport last night, and some guy standing next to me asks me.

Potential customer (PC): "Can you slice something for me?"

There happened to be a Master Smuggler on his knees doing a Teras Kasai meditation who chimes in.

MS: "Any smuggler can slice. But there is no such thing as a master slicer."

And I say: "I can slice it for you, but Mr. Master here could probably get you a better slice."

PC to MS: "Can you slice this container for me?"

Me to MS: "It's all yours." and run off.

Last night my Rebel friends and I (4 of us) were making a raid on Bestine on Tatooine. We were on our way out of town, when I saw a red dot on my radar behind me. I run after it, and see a lone Imperial standing in one of the archways that exist in Bestine. He sees me coming and runs and stops about 50 m on the other side of the arch. I'm spamming on lowblow, because I keep getting the you can't see your target message due to the low wall by the arch. I finally get through the arch, hit him with lowblow, then panic shot, then a couple of last ditches and he dies, then he sends me a tell.

Imp: I just reported you for exploiting
(I'm confused, thinking this guy's just being whiny cause he died without getting a shot off)
Me: What exactly did I do that makes you think I exploited
Imp: I couldn't attack you
Me: I used Panic Shot on you, that delays you for 10 seconds, it's not an exploit
Imp: No, I was getting a message saying you weren't visible and you knew about it so it's an exploit.
(not sure how he thinks I knew about messages he was getting)
Me: I was getting the same message, there was a 2 foot high wall between us.
Imp: You cheated, I have Screen Shots

I go on to explain about ten times how there was a low wall between us and I was getting the message too. He even admitted that while he was getting the message I wasn't attacking him yet. But he still thinks I"m cheating. Finally he says

Imp: Well, I'm through humoring you, why don't you tell it to the CSR after I show him the screenshots.

So I send one last tell, spelling it out very plainly

Me: Look, there was a very small wall between you and me, one that you could see me over, but according to the way the game plays, you couldn't attack me through. Once I got around that wall, I got my shot off before you. My shot was a knockdown, followed by panic shot, which delayed you, and therefore kept you from attacking me back.

He didn't respond, so either he got it and felt dumb, or more likely, he didn't want to talk to me anymore and thought for sure i'd get spanked by the CSR. By the way, I was pvp'ing for at least three hours after that last night, as well as playing a little bit today, and no CSR's have tried to contact me in any sort of way. I actually wish they would have contacted me right away so I could have explained to them what happened and then they could have told the guy off.

Nice one SanTsu, I hope that "Master Slicer" sees this thread

ROFL

Ok, I have to add another one, because this actually made me fall out of my chair laughing.

Musician: can you slice for me
me: sure 3k per
Mus: you gotta be kidding
me: nope
mus: you must not make much money
me: i only get refused once out of every ten times
mus: you charge way too much and you know it
me: how much do you think i should charge?
mus: 1k per
me: you know it takes tools to slice, it costs us money
mus: oh yeah, but you charge too much man

ten seconds later

mus: slice my scout blaster for 5k
me: uhm, that's more than I asked you for to slice
mus: 3k per weapon?
me: yeah you just said slice it for 5k
mus: i thought you meant 3k per percentage lol
me: rofl oh i'm sorry, no wonder you thought I charged too much
mus: get over here

This is the best thread EVER.