Smuggler Archive
Thread: Star Wars Galaxies: Episode IV
Page 1 of 3
rogue_eight
Mon Jul 11, 2005 8:50 am
#1
EXTERIOR: TATOOINE -- WASTELAND.
The Landspeeder with Luke, Artoo, Threepio, and Ben in it
zooms across the desert. The speeder stops on a bluff
overlooking the spaceport at Mos Eisley. It is a haphazard
array of low, grey, concrete structures and semi-domes. A
harsh gale blows across the stark canyon floor. Luke adjusts
his goggles and walks to the edge of the craggy bluff where
Ben is standing.
BEN: Mos Eisley Spaceport. You will never find a more wretched hive of
scum and villainy. We must be cautious.
Ben looks over at Luke, who gives the old Jedi a determined
smile.
LUKE: Trust me, I got a plan...
Suddenly an MSE-6 droid appears in the dust.
LUKE: Come on guys, hop in!
BEN: ?!
LUKE: Trust me, it's got a hidden compartment. It'll be sweeet. They'll like never see it coming, dude!
LUKE: St
The MSE-6 disappears.
EXTERIOR: TATOOINE -- MOS EISLEY -- STREET.
The speeder is stopped on a crowded street by several
combat-hardend stormtroopers.
The troopers begin to scan them.
Luke fiddles with his lightsaber in full view of the trooper.
LUKE: Yo, have you met my friend, Obi-Wan Kenobi? He's, like, a totally ub3r Jedi
BEN: (Pulling up hood and sinking into the seat) Shut it, you dweeb, my health crystal still has hours to recharge, and my Force is really low after healing your sorry butt from being kicked by those Tuskens.
LUKE: Hey it's fine. You're on leave right? Besides they're only CL36. Threepio could take them on his own!
TROOPER: Move along. Move along.
LUKE: Told you. NOOOBS!
EXTERIOR: TATOOINE -- MOS EISLEY -- STREET.
The speeder jerks spasmodically along the street, finally driving
right into the doorway of a rundown blockhouse cantina
on the outskirts of the spaceport.
LUKE: I hate lag!
RANDOM RODIAN: Forming Squill hunting group! CL80 only. No nooobs!
RANDOM RODIAN: Forming Squill hunting group! CL80 only. No nooobs!
RANDOM RODIAN: Forming Squill hunting group! CL80 only. No nooobs!
RANDOM RODIAN: Forming Squill hunting group! CL80 only. No nooobs!
RANDOM RODIAN: Forming Squill hunting group! CL80 only. No nooobs!
S3XYBEEST: WTB BARC! /tell me with your BO!
S3XYBEEST: WTB BARC! /tell me with your BO!
S3XYBEEST: WTB BARC! /tell me with your BO!
S3XYBEEST: WTB BARC! /tell me with your BO!
LUKE: Do you really think we're going to find a pilot here that'll
take us to Alderaan?
BEN: Well, most of the best freighter pilots can be found here. Only
watch your step. This place can be a little rough.
INTERIOR: TATOOINE -- MOS EISLEY -- CANTINA.
The young and Ben Kenobi twitch and jerk into the smoke-filled cantina.
The murky, moldy den is empty except for a few Twi'lek dancers and a human with a slitherhorn.
RAY CHARLES: Remember to tip your entertainer!
RAY CHARLES smiles.
RAY CHARLES: Remember to tip your entertainer!
BARTENDER: We don't serve their kind here!
Luke doesn't quite catch the bartender's
drift.
LUKE: What?
BARTENDER: Your Jedi. They'll have to wait outside. We don't want
them here.
Luke follows Ben and Chewbacca to a booth where Han Solo is
sitting. Han is a tough, roguish starpilot about thirty years
old. A mercenary on a starship, he is simple, sentimental, and
cocksure.
HAN: Han Solo. I'm captain of the Millennium Falcon. Chewie here tells
me you're looking for passage to the Alderaan system.
BEN: Yes, indeed. If it's a fast ship.
HAN: Fast ship? You've never heard of the Millennium Falcon?
BEN: Should I have?
HAN: It's got a LV 10 RE engine that hits 300, with a PYR of 110!
Ben reacts to Solo's stupid attempt to impress them with
obvious misinformation.
HAN: (continued) I've outrun Imperial starships, not the local
bulk-cruisers, mind you. I'm talking about the big Corellian ships
now. I can't fly it and shoot anything at the same time, so it's gotta be fast, right?
What's the cargo?
BEN: Only passengers. Myself, the boy, two droids, and no questions
asked.
HAN: WOW! You mean I actually get to SMUGGLE! You're sh*tting me! When'd they patch that in?
BEN: Look, we're just trying to make you feel better, K? You'll never be able to Smuggle, so just be grateful of the opportunity. After all, we could have gotten anyone else here with Master Pilot to give us a ride!
-L33tD00d-: Hey d00d. Sl!ce my weapon!
HAN: What?
-L33tD00d-: Slice my wepon for level 3 damage. I'll give you 2k!!!!
HAN: I haven't got any tools.
-L33tD00d-: You're lying. Sl!ce my gun or I'll kick you @$$!
LUKE: Who's this loser? Want Ben to hand him his butt?
-L33tD00d-: I'll take you all on looozerz!
HAN: (sighs and pulls DL44XT. Hits annoying whiner with Concussion Shot) Now where were we?
-L33tD00d-: You f***, You cheat1 Exploit! I'll report you!
FADE OUT.
The Landspeeder with Luke, Artoo, Threepio, and Ben in it
zooms across the desert. The speeder stops on a bluff
overlooking the spaceport at Mos Eisley. It is a haphazard
array of low, grey, concrete structures and semi-domes. A
harsh gale blows across the stark canyon floor. Luke adjusts
his goggles and walks to the edge of the craggy bluff where
Ben is standing.
BEN: Mos Eisley Spaceport. You will never find a more wretched hive of
scum and villainy. We must be cautious.
Ben looks over at Luke, who gives the old Jedi a determined
smile.
LUKE: Trust me, I got a plan...
Suddenly an MSE-6 droid appears in the dust.
LUKE: Come on guys, hop in!
BEN: ?!
LUKE: Trust me, it's got a hidden compartment. It'll be sweeet. They'll like never see it coming, dude!
LUKE: St
The MSE-6 disappears.
EXTERIOR: TATOOINE -- MOS EISLEY -- STREET.
The speeder is stopped on a crowded street by several
combat-hardend stormtroopers.
The troopers begin to scan them.
Luke fiddles with his lightsaber in full view of the trooper.
LUKE: Yo, have you met my friend, Obi-Wan Kenobi? He's, like, a totally ub3r Jedi
BEN: (Pulling up hood and sinking into the seat) Shut it, you dweeb, my health crystal still has hours to recharge, and my Force is really low after healing your sorry butt from being kicked by those Tuskens.
LUKE: Hey it's fine. You're on leave right? Besides they're only CL36. Threepio could take them on his own!
TROOPER: Move along. Move along.
LUKE: Told you. NOOOBS!
EXTERIOR: TATOOINE -- MOS EISLEY -- STREET.
The speeder jerks spasmodically along the street, finally driving
right into the doorway of a rundown blockhouse cantina
on the outskirts of the spaceport.
LUKE: I hate lag!
RANDOM RODIAN: Forming Squill hunting group! CL80 only. No nooobs!
RANDOM RODIAN: Forming Squill hunting group! CL80 only. No nooobs!
RANDOM RODIAN: Forming Squill hunting group! CL80 only. No nooobs!
RANDOM RODIAN: Forming Squill hunting group! CL80 only. No nooobs!
RANDOM RODIAN: Forming Squill hunting group! CL80 only. No nooobs!
S3XYBEEST: WTB BARC! /tell me with your BO!
S3XYBEEST: WTB BARC! /tell me with your BO!
S3XYBEEST: WTB BARC! /tell me with your BO!
S3XYBEEST: WTB BARC! /tell me with your BO!
LUKE: Do you really think we're going to find a pilot here that'll
take us to Alderaan?
BEN: Well, most of the best freighter pilots can be found here. Only
watch your step. This place can be a little rough.
INTERIOR: TATOOINE -- MOS EISLEY -- CANTINA.
The young and Ben Kenobi twitch and jerk into the smoke-filled cantina.
The murky, moldy den is empty except for a few Twi'lek dancers and a human with a slitherhorn.
RAY CHARLES: Remember to tip your entertainer!
RAY CHARLES smiles.
RAY CHARLES: Remember to tip your entertainer!
BARTENDER: We don't serve their kind here!
Luke doesn't quite catch the bartender's
drift.
LUKE: What?
BARTENDER: Your Jedi. They'll have to wait outside. We don't want
them here.
Luke follows Ben and Chewbacca to a booth where Han Solo is
sitting. Han is a tough, roguish starpilot about thirty years
old. A mercenary on a starship, he is simple, sentimental, and
cocksure.
HAN: Han Solo. I'm captain of the Millennium Falcon. Chewie here tells
me you're looking for passage to the Alderaan system.
BEN: Yes, indeed. If it's a fast ship.
HAN: Fast ship? You've never heard of the Millennium Falcon?
BEN: Should I have?
HAN: It's got a LV 10 RE engine that hits 300, with a PYR of 110!
Ben reacts to Solo's stupid attempt to impress them with
obvious misinformation.
HAN: (continued) I've outrun Imperial starships, not the local
bulk-cruisers, mind you. I'm talking about the big Corellian ships
now. I can't fly it and shoot anything at the same time, so it's gotta be fast, right?
What's the cargo?
BEN: Only passengers. Myself, the boy, two droids, and no questions
asked.
HAN: WOW! You mean I actually get to SMUGGLE! You're sh*tting me! When'd they patch that in?
BEN: Look, we're just trying to make you feel better, K? You'll never be able to Smuggle, so just be grateful of the opportunity. After all, we could have gotten anyone else here with Master Pilot to give us a ride!
-L33tD00d-: Hey d00d. Sl!ce my weapon!
HAN: What?
-L33tD00d-: Slice my wepon for level 3 damage. I'll give you 2k!!!!
HAN: I haven't got any tools.
-L33tD00d-: You're lying. Sl!ce my gun or I'll kick you @$$!
LUKE: Who's this loser? Want Ben to hand him his butt?
-L33tD00d-: I'll take you all on looozerz!
HAN: (sighs and pulls DL44XT. Hits annoying whiner with Concussion Shot) Now where were we?
-L33tD00d-: You f***, You cheat1 Exploit! I'll report you!
FADE OUT.
Tactical_Dave
Mon Jul 11, 2005 9:33 am
#4
I sure hope the devs are writing this down, LOL.
You obvioulsy have too much time on your hands, Rogue. Y'don'cha write sum'more. hehe
AngusMacGregor
Mon Jul 11, 2005 9:59 am
#7
Hey Wes... does your "special place" happen to be in the Ranger forum in a thread with "hawtpants" in the title? 
Antonnio
Mon Jul 11, 2005 10:04 am
#9
Good work, I love the part with the guy who wants a weapon slice.
TheBeerMan
Mon Jul 11, 2005 10:40 am
#10
Great stuff. 
Should be on the back of the box, or better yet, make it one of those SWG commercials.
GanymedePharuu
Mon Jul 11, 2005 10:54 am
#11
haha!
HAN: WOW! You mean I actually get to SMUGGLE! You're sh*tting me! When'd they patch that in?
that was funny
HAN: WOW! You mean I actually get to SMUGGLE! You're sh*tting me! When'd they patch that in?
that was funny
TFOKypster
Mon Jul 11, 2005 10:55 am
#12
HAN: WOW! You mean I actually get to SMUGGLE! You're sh*tting me! When'd they patch that in?
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