Smuggler Archive

...and boy are my arms tired!

Anyway, while I was adventuring in the year 2005, I managed to steal this dev post from July 15, 2005 and bring it back with me. I thought you might enjoy reading it as much as I did.
______________________________________________________________________________________

Hello Smuggler community,

I know how frustrated you must be right now, but you have to understand that this delay of the Smuggler Revamp is absolutely necessary for the good of the game. Since JustG and Thunderheart didn't show up for work ever again after the "Asteroid Belt Incident" that took place right after JTL launch, you have seen yourself how things have gone.

Since I took over as Lead Developer, I have been up to my neck in locking posts and updating the community policies, and have had little time for actual development, and now we have to first fix the things that Jump To Lightspeed broke before we can fix the things that were always broken, or the things that weren't broken and we broke, or the broken things that became even more broken when we fixed them.

First and foremost on our priority list is making our community policies much, much tighter. No more will you get away with posts about broken professions, quests, bugs or exploits in the game, or why you are upset about the game, or what can be done to "improve" upon the game. From now on all posts must be submitted to Holocron (our new intern) for approval before they are actually posted on any of our forums, must be under 25 words, and must only be about pretty, happy topics, like the butterflies on Naboo this time of year, or how Wookiees really are the darling race of the swoop scene.

Secondly, you and I both know that we have to fix the flying Jedi exploit, as it is ruining the game. We know this, you know this, they know this, we all know this. The three people who still haven't unlocked their slots have threatened to cancel their accounts over this, and we agree with their anger, because Jedi should under no circumstances be able to download new skills from the Matrix Online, and that was never intended to be a part of SWG.

Then of course we have to do the Combat Balance. Diseases and poisons are being looked at, and a decision on this must be made soon. We are also considering looking at and possibly pondering for awhile about GTEFs, Jedi TEFs, faction bases, etc. blah blah blah you whiney bastages... But still, look on the bright side, since we removed the ability for players to remove their composite at any time, the game still looks exactly the same! And think of all the new Jar Jar emotes!

After that, we have the Jedi Revamps VII, VIII, and IX. Then X, XI, XII, and XIII. Then XIV. After that, we will start revamping Jedi again, but this time without the Roman Numerals.

Oh, and sorry about stealth-nerfing Last Ditch. It was necessary to finally break your spirits once and for all. Since we requested you redesign the last design of the new document formally known as the old design of the Smuggler Revamp design doc, and you actually did it (*you actually did it?!!?*), we haven't really known what else we could do to you we haven't already done. Head Content Designer Jeassa suggested we break spices, but then we figured... who the hell uses spices anyway?!

Anyway, you Smugglers knew it was coming though, didn't you? You wanted that last kick and you know it, you masochistic freaks.

One last thing, anyone responding to this post in any matter other than gushing praise of my immense and ever-glorious intellect will be banned. Thank you, and have a great day.

P.S. We removed the secret smuggler handshake by accident. Sorry about that. We will re-add it with the Smuggler Revamp. ROFLMAO @ U n00bS!
_________________________________________________________________________

Message Edited by Mackle on 07-15-2004 07:03 PM

Message Edited by JTGAlpha on 07-15-2004 07:08 PM

They finally found the right man for the job and the gust's to tell us the Truth. Keep up the great work

101/100

Hilarious.