Rifleman Archive
Thread: Nerf Cry'ers Chronicle (humor)
Hello and welcome to the Nerf Criers Chronicle.
First a report on Our recent victories.
CH PWNED!!!
We did it guys these former poke-man masters are now all but extinct good job all around!
DOT's we have nothing to fear from Bleeds for Commando Flame burns any more they are as dangerous as kreetles
Now our latest targets:
Riflemen!! we need to nerf them!! Ther rifleman response to this, "hey we are just useing buffs so we can now spam specials too, you want someone to blame, blame chefs. Their Brandy and canaps make us ub3r l00t dudes!!. So Nerf the chef!!!"
The Chef response," they just fixed us you numbnuts!!!"
with that the Chef grabbed his cake and hurlled it at the rifleman resouting in a massive food fight. The riflemen picked up their weapons yet could not hit the chefs cause of all the food bonuses they got. The battle finally ended in a mess when all the chefs exploded from overconsumption of food.
Next target the CM!
Cm area posions are way too powerful we must nerf them!!!
CM response "well we may PWNE in PvP but PvE we can't even kill a krettle" With that the board of nerf cryers let in a horde of krettles which quickly wiped out the CM's in attendance.
Thanks all and keep up the good fight and remember if we get defeated by it it's time to cry NERF!!
(anyone else care to add? and no I am far from serious this is a joke
Airius Mysterio - Chilastra I say my fellow nerfers the time to strike is neigh! No not nine, neigh, as in now? Now where was I? Oh right, we must strike down the foul riflemen, who if not drunkare weak! We will smite them because they are an actauly working proff! How dare people want to explote and use a working combat proff, how dare they for all of us fellow nerfers who got pistoler or carbineer or pikeman!
I'd say we should raise such a racket as to be louder then the CH nerf! I say louder then a Cm neft, I say louder then a Jedi complaining! Louder!
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4 am post = mostly incorearnt don't you think?
Nerf Commandos! They hit people sometimes and when they do, whoa!
(yes I'm a rifleman so I can post here, I just never do)
oooo let me try.
Leadhead's Nerf Corner....Page 2
Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to focus todays column on the Rifleman. As you all know, I am a master pistoleer myself and as I look around, I am just disgusted by what I am seeing. After all my cryin bitchin, and whining, I still see some professions that have too much power, namely Riflemen. Just look at all the damage they do, and their variety of rifles? My God! I spoke with a rifleman just the other day, and you know what he told me? He told me that he was haveing "SO MUCH FUN!!!"
Look people this is not a game!!! I didnt waste the 50000 dollars my parents spent on me to go to college to get my Masters in Basket Weaving to play online games for nothing!!! This game is life and you better start takeing it very seriously! Those rifleman are stealing the very essence of the game from right under your noses with their notions of "fun" and their tactics of not standing still in battle.
Yesterday I recieved a heart felt letter froma 12 year old boy named from Topeca Kansas who wrote:
Dear Leadhead,
I lost a PVP duel against a rifleman. I was mad and said that the fight was not fair because he used a t-21 against me. I told him like you suggested, that I was going straight to the devs and demand a nerf. He told me that there will always be professions that are more powerful than others and that I if I was so concerned about being uber, then I should become a rifleman, it is alot of fun. I am confused, he seems to make alot of sense. I am a carbineer and alot of the specials are broken in this profession so I think I am going to switch over.
Sincerely John
John I have experienced the exact same thing numerous times, but why should I have to do all that work to grind to another proffesion. I am a master pistoleer, and it took me a lifelongTHREE WHOLE DAYS to get to Master. I have aleinated my friends, family, and my beloved chahuahua to make this rpg the nexus of my life. If you are running around doing missions and killing imps and pvp dueling toons at the coronet spaceport, when are you gonna have the time to do the things you are supposed to do like chatting with hot looking chics in the game that are most likely 40 years old with 3 kids and weigh 275lbs? When are you gonna find the time to make sure that people are not exploiting the starport to repair thier speeders. When are you gonna find the time to patrol your oversizedpets in the starport so that noone can see the ticket collector?
You wont John....You wont.
Nerf Squad Leaders.
I saw one the other day, a master no less. I thought this proffession was being phased out....
BREAKING NEWS!
MANRECIEVES "DEATHBLOW"IN PVP!
During an intense PvP conflict one of the participants, who chooses to remain nameless, was incapacitated and then sent to the cloning center. When asked for comment he replied "I was at my keyboard, I have the best weapons and armor the bazaar can provide, and some of my skill points are devoted to combat professions... 20 of them at the least! I don't understand how this could have happened!" Experts from the Chronicle reviewed his combat logs and came to the following conclusions:
1. He was incapped by some sort of "Special Move", probably from a Commando.
2. He recieved wounds during the course of the fight indicating the work of a Combat Medic.
3. The victim missed quite often indicating that the assailant was "nigh unhitable" and probably a Pikeman.
"This is not the extent of our knowledge." claims lead investigator Noclue Spoutbull. "During our interview with the victim he confirmed that he never once saw his assailant. This lead us to believe that the assailant was a high level Ranger using Camo kits. We do not discount the possibility that it was a Rifleman using Conceal Shot though." Our experts vow to investigate the matter until a nerf can be administered.