Ranger Archive
Thread: For Calc and all you other Rangers. You need this.
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RohmEnari
Wed Apr 06, 2005 10:39 pm
#1
A guy goes into a bar, orders twelve shots and starts drinking them as fast as he can.
The bartender says, "Dang, why are you drinking so fast?"
The guy says, "You would be drinking fast if you had what I had."
The bartender says, "What do you have?"
The guy says, "75 cents."
Just wanted to make ya laugh.
The bartender says, "Dang, why are you drinking so fast?"
The guy says, "You would be drinking fast if you had what I had."
The bartender says, "What do you have?"
The guy says, "75 cents."
Just wanted to make ya laugh.
Kiryoku
Wed Apr 06, 2005 10:50 pm
#2
hehehe... this one's coming out friday night at the watering hole!
Phenix1050
Wed Apr 06, 2005 11:08 pm
#3
A gal walks into a bar and orders three beers. She brings the three over to a booth and begins drinking, taking a sip from one and then the other and so on.
she proceeds to order another round when the bartender asks her what she's doing.
She tells him that she and her two sisters used to always drink together and they decided that when she married, she promiseed to drink like this to remember them.
This goes on for years until one day, she and her husband come in and she only orders two pints. the bartender and the loyal customers are immediately shocked.
as he comes to pick up the next round, the bartendertells her husband to offer herhis condences on her loss.
after a minute, he gets the meaning of what the bartender was saying and chuckles. no no no, he says. her sisters are fine.
it's just that she and I joined a church that discourages drinking. her sisters, however, continue to drink....
Badgewick
Thu Apr 07, 2005 5:27 am
#4
Phenix1050 wrote:
A gal walks into a bar and orders three beers. She brings the three over to a booth and begins drinking, taking a sip from one and then the other and so on.
she proceeds to order another round when the bartender asks her what she's doing.
She tells him that she and her two sisters used to always drink together and they decided that when she married, she promiseed to drink like this to remember them.
This goes on for years until one day, she and her husband come in and she only orders two pints. the bartender and the loyal customers are immediately shocked.
as he comes to pick up the next round, the bartendertells her husband to offer herhis condences on her loss.
after a minute, he gets the meaning of what the bartender was saying and chuckles. no no no, he says. her sisters are fine.
it's just that she and I joined a church that discourages drinking. her sisters, however, continue to drink....
classic
Almagill
Thu Apr 07, 2005 6:48 am
#5
Guy inthe checkout line at the supermarket, getting his groceries checked.
Single portion of fish
single serving ready meal
one apple
one banana
one pint of milk
The pretty young checkout girl says "You're not married, are you?"
Guy blushes and says no...
The pretty young checkout girl says "You're not dating anyone, are you?"
The guy thinks to himself 'hey, I'm onto something here', blushes a bit more and says no...
The pretty young checkout girl says "You've never really had a girlfriend, have you?"
The guy blushes more and says, "No. No, its true, I've never really had much success with girls.
How can you tell all this from my groceries"?
The pretty young checkout girl says "From your groceries? No.....
(page down)
(page down)
The pretty young checkout girl says "From your groceries? No.....
It's just that you're as ugly as heck"
Single portion of fish
single serving ready meal
one apple
one banana
one pint of milk
The pretty young checkout girl says "You're not married, are you?"
Guy blushes and says no...
The pretty young checkout girl says "You're not dating anyone, are you?"
The guy thinks to himself 'hey, I'm onto something here', blushes a bit more and says no...
The pretty young checkout girl says "You've never really had a girlfriend, have you?"
The guy blushes more and says, "No. No, its true, I've never really had much success with girls.
How can you tell all this from my groceries"?
The pretty young checkout girl says "From your groceries? No.....
(page down)
(page down)
The pretty young checkout girl says "From your groceries? No.....
It's just that you're as ugly as heck"
cadmunky
Thu Apr 07, 2005 1:18 pm
#6
a guy sitting at the bar notices a very attractive redhead ('cause i like redheads) giving him the eye from across the room. she eventually walks over and takes the seat next to him and orders a drink from the bartender. she leans over and whispers in his ear "for $100 you can take me home and i'll do anything you want, no matter how wild or outrageous."
a look of excitement passes over his face and he reaches in his wallet for a crisp new $100 bill. as he hands it to her, he leans over and whispers into her ear....
"paint my house"
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