Ranger Archive
Thread: Ranger Jokes
There is this Wookie and Bothan out hunting. When all of the sudden the Bothan falls over. He's not moving and the Wookie is sure the Bothan is dead.
The Wookie grabs his faster than light communiator and:
{Wookie} /tell doctor"Hey by Buddy a Bothan has just fallen over and is dead what doI do?"
{doctor} /rthats not abig problem I can help. Where are you?
{Wookie} /r We are just south of Theed you want my waypoint?
{doctor} /r Will lets just make sure your friend is dead first ok?
{Wookie}/deathblow; /r Ok what next?
This Wookie Ranger Sits next to me in the cantina.
{Wookie Ranger} Dam entertainers are so pushy. Just pushy, pushy pushy.
{dancer} You sure?
{Wookie Ranger} NO Damit for the 100th time I DO NOT WANT A BREATH MINT!
How to tell if your Pet is more intelligent than You?
10. Your neighbors complain about loud music and howling coming from your house when your off-line.
9. You find mysterious sculpture of a person (who looks strikingly like you) on a leash in your living room.
8. Ice floating in the toilet water.
7. Neighborhood pets leave treats on your doorstep.
6. Friends swear they've seen your speeder at the local food and chemical factory.
5. You can never find the leftovers.
4. The remote is covered with slobber, and the TV was left on the Nature Channel.
3. Your pet only yawns when you do T1, T2
2. Mensa mailings addressed to your pet?
1. Your no longer on the admin list of your own house.
I know its not a ranger joke but I found it to be very funny.
STORM TROOPER INSURANCE.
Private Jones was assigned to the induction center, where he advised new recruits about the Imperial benefits, especially the Storm Trooper Insurance.
It wasn't long before Captain Smith noticed that Private Jones had almost a 100% record for insurance sales, which had never happened before. Rather than ask about this, the Captain stood in the back of the room and listened to Jones sales pitch.
Jones explained the basics of the Storm Trooper Insurance to the new recruits and then said: "If you have Storm Trooper Insurance and go into battle and are killed, The Empire has to pay 200,000cr to your beneficiaries. If you don't have Storm Trooper Insurance and you go into battle and get killed, the Empire only has to pay a maximum of 6000cr."
"Now." he concluded. "Which bunch do you think they are going to send into battle first?"
Two mynocks were out one night looking for blood, but after a few hours of unsuccessful hunting they decided to go home. In the wee hours of the morning, one of the mynocks was so hungry he had to go out hunting again. An hour later he came back all covered in blood.
'Where did you get that blood ?' said the other mynock, full of envy.
'Come and I'll show you. 'So out they went into the night.
'See that tree over there?' said the mynock covered in blood.
'Yeah.'
'Well I didn't!'