Ranger Archive

Based on the favorable review of my previous guide to racing up the ranger tree, I have decided to expound on the secrets of trapping...

First off, some basic preparations need to be made prior to aproductive evening of trapping. With that stated, let's begin...

You will want to acquire said friends from your harvesting adventures and convince them (usually by applying a generous amount of begging and pleading) to help you achieve the exalted rank of Super Groovy Trap Master Delux Level 4. While you wait the required hour for them to figure out if it's in their best interest and profit margin to follow you in your escapades, you can start to acquire the essentials for your traps.

It helps to have a checklist at this point to help you quickly gather your ingredients. Sticks, bark, growing things, skins, and the meat of something that up till recently used to have a face. With an eye toward some of the higher end traps, you will also want to hang out around a local star port and wait to see if an engineer or someone of the crafting line is making a business trip. Now, your first impulse on finding someone of that discription is to simply follow them till they enter a less traveled area and smack them over the head with the business end of your laserrifleshaped club and take what you need from his twitching body. Sadly, this type of behavior while satisfying is not practical and you will instead need to engage in about 15 minutes of hard negotiation on how much of your hard earned credits you will be parting with.

Now, you have managed to get everything you need and are ready to proceed to next step...creating your traps. I suggest using one of the readly available public crafting stations as you want everyone to see you hard at work in your chosen profession. (Think of the looks of admiration as they see you studiously cranking out 2 adhesive traps at a time for a whole hour, using that 1 precious experimentation point to make sure you get the very best.) As a side note, you will want to keep in constant contact with your fellow adventurers to assure them you will be right there.

Ok, you have your traps and are ready to go...but go where you say? I recommend someplace spooky like Dathomir. Generally, the spookier the place the better the monsters. For example, Dathomir has rancors and force witches. As any self respecting ranger knows, if it can kill you in one hit it must be worth the fight. Now, you'v made it to Dathomir. What next? Well silly, head out into the countryside and find yourself some of that "On the hoof" trapping goodness. Here is a simple senario... You have walked 20 minutes north looking for something to try your new traps on. You spy a rancor and it's force witch partner hovering on yonder hill. Well, you convince the other 2 members of your party that the best course is a frontal assault. You explain that while they act a screaming rushing diversion, you will steathly creep around to the rancor and proceed to hurl traps for all your worth at the rancor that doesn't know how to play nice. (Note to self: In the course of your stealthy approach, if one of your compatriots flies past you on burst run it might be expeditious to rethink your current forward route.)

Now some of you have some previous experience with the trapping scene, so you will understand when I say that not always will your trap work as expected. This is easy to solve. Like most things with a mind of it's own, you must simply coaxes your trap to work with the simple addition of some heart felt words of encouragement. I myself have found that "Come on baby, daddy loves you" to work wonders in trap preformance. Also, phrases such as "Who's the big trap daddy?" and "You like that? Want alittle more? Come get some!" to work for your purposes. One must not forget to share some love with the force witch as well. As your traps will not work on her, I suggest making sure that your friends concentrate on her as much as possible while you start looking for places to build that camp we will mention later. (As a side note, not many people know that with the lack of a viable tech base on Dathomir, the force witches have excelled in the art of the No-Bake cookie as a means of outlet for their nurturing femanine side. If you are lucky, you will receive one of these tasty treats as a loot drop from inside the pockets of her laser hole seared corpse.)

Basically, you will follow this general outline for all your trapping needs. Now, I know that in the midst of battle you may find yourself in a situation where you have run out of traps...(Gasp!) What shall you do you ask? The following is a field expediant guide to substitute trapping that might help you get out of those hairy situations.

1.Adhesive trap = Hold up your hand and shout forcefully "Simon says...STOP!!"

2.Phenacine Dart= Quicky pull out the latest post on the Dev's forum on "Why hasn't someone done something about eyeshot and stopping shot" and read outloud in a clear voice.

3.Sonic trap = Pull out that previously recorded tape of Fran Dresher's laugh you duped and looped off of the internet and chuck the recorder into the middle of the melee.

4.Pulse trap= Quickly turn your personal torch light off and on in a rapid motion while running circles around the fight.

5. Glow Wire Trap= As the monster runs past you after the pistoleer you wisely brought along, stick your foot out and brace yourself.

6.Barb Dart= Quickly look around for a stick. Use a rock lying nearby to nap a sharp edge to the stick and quickly run up behind the rancor and poke it in a sensitive part then back away.

7.Stink Bomb= Using your noob creation character shirt you wisely stored in your backpack for emergencies, rip a strip of cloth off and create an impromptu sling. Search quickly for a generous heaping of rancor pellets and proceed to sling them into the face of the oncoming witch and rancor. (As a point of interest. It has been noticed that rancor feces makes for an excellent field expediant pepper spray. So aim for the eyes if at all possible.)

Well, kids I hope this has been informative for you and will speed you on the way to mastering the elite profession of trapping. Please remember that with mild variations, these techniques can be applied to just about any creature. Also, remember its not the quality of the materials in your traps....it's the foot speed of your tanking friends that makes all the difference. Cheerio! and Bye now.!

Message Edited by Tsalmaveth on 05-16-2004 07:52 PM

LOL!!! I find myself saying "No Whammies" when I toss traps!!!

this is the best guide ever.

'come on baby, who's your big trap daddy?'

It should be noted that at the time the original post was created, problems with this and other professions where abit different. So, if you are new to the game some of this may not make sense. But for those of you that have been around awhile, I hope this brings you a laugh if you missed it the last time around.

Message Edited by Tsalmaveth on 05-16-2004 07:54 PM

Not only did i spit out my drink while reading this,I spat out my drink while in english . That promptly got my teaher over to read what I was looking at. Thankfully he's a very relaxed man as he just looked at me funny and moved along . Honestly though this was some of the funniest stuff I have seen in a long while.

Aigar

hehe no wammies...great show