Ranger Archive
Thread: OT, way way way OT Spay and Neuter your pets
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JBMat
Thu Feb 10, 2005 5:16 am
#1
OK, the servers are down, I am tired as hell as I worked til 1 am and this is my bit of foolishness.
What if doctors/combat medics could neuter Bothans? Specifically Phenix, the fearless drunken Bothan of legend?
What would happen?
Would he get a squeaky voice? Would he lose his facial hair? Gain weight? Join the Vienna Bothan Boy's Choir? Become a maitre-de in an exclusive restaurant? Quit Ranger and become an ID or a Tailor?
Ken you started this with your Bothan vendor pic post.
Post your story of what you think would happen in little tiny words so even I can understand it. Poor jokes and bad puns are encouraged, nay, required.
I will select a winner, based on no set criteria other than the fact that I started this mess. Phenix gets a half vote, as he is only half as tall as I am. Owen gets a vote as I am hijacking his forum. Calc the leezard getsa vote as a Blue Glowie. Hell, everyone gets a vote... Democracy reigns supreme.
JB
not my fault I had to take a class on how to operate equipment in the middle of the freaking night...least I am not talking about food
Tarnak_Archvold
Thu Feb 10, 2005 5:28 am
#2
He would of cause become a BH... we know there is a lack of balls in that profession 
Either that of a exotic male dancer, wearing sturdy boots and winged H***p****.
Ok time to go and hide...
Either that of a exotic male dancer, wearing sturdy boots and winged H***p****.
Ok time to go and hide...
Bassnet13
Thu Feb 10, 2005 5:34 am
#3
Well - I can't say what he'd do. But Ki'ara would be all over him like a fat man on a buffet table. Do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a Bothan man faithful. "Not til they take away my mojo, baby." is a line she's used to hearing. Well, here's a Bothan boy who did have his mojo taken. WOO HOO!!!
The wedding will be on March 7. All are expected to attend.
-KM
PS Phenix, my name is Ki'ara. Pleasure to meet you
The wedding will be on March 7. All are expected to attend.
-KM
PS Phenix, my name is Ki'ara. Pleasure to meet you
Kiryoku
Thu Feb 10, 2005 5:56 am
#4
first off, we all know that Phe'nix is a bothan, and thus a dog... and by all account (usually his own), he is (or was)exceptionally well endowed with a fantastic ... sense of smell...
as such, it is hypothesized that some of the more envious of the bothan-kind (Fodder) may have attempted to alleviate thepressure Phe'nix's ... nose... was applying to the rest of the bothan population (i hear he wasn't too picky)
it is unknown who actually removed the infamous part, for it took an army to hold down the rising Phe'nix...alas, the article was never found, and never returned...
however, some people say: beaten and brokenbeneath a bunch of bothan bottoms, the part leapt up and scurried away... heading toward the only place it felt safe, it's haven - a small potted plant... there it chose to reside, until the end of it's existance... whenceforththe Phe'nix pe'nixwould glow red and rise from the ashes a form a completely new bothan...
AKA
super canis phallic myst'ry expiring in the rose bush
Phenix1050
Thu Feb 10, 2005 9:29 am
#7
HEY! HEY! HEY!
The question was what if. I assuse you my....nose...is in perfect working condition. However, I AM a faithful Bothan to those who were inquiring. Does the fact that I don't have a character on your server mean the wedding is postponed until I can make one?
Almagill
Thu Feb 10, 2005 12:31 pm
#9
So, I revitalised my old toon on Eclipse and went for a bit of a wander, levelling up my feeble newb scout to feeble newb scout / marksman.
Sitting in a cantina letting my mind wounds heal over, I spots this female bothan dancer. Wow, but they are SHORT! Anyway, I had to ask if she'd heard of the legendary Bothese hunter from hereabouts "Phenix" and she said "Oh, HIM!!!" and went LD on me.
Makes you wonder.
Makes you wonder if BH would take a contract to neuteralise somebody....
Sitting in a cantina letting my mind wounds heal over, I spots this female bothan dancer. Wow, but they are SHORT! Anyway, I had to ask if she'd heard of the legendary Bothese hunter from hereabouts "Phenix" and she said "Oh, HIM!!!" and went LD on me.
Makes you wonder.
Makes you wonder if BH would take a contract to neuteralise somebody....
Phenix1050
Thu Feb 10, 2005 6:49 pm
#10
You people are all very, very sick. Except the one who wanted to marry me. If you're a Bothan chick, I'll love you forever.
BTW....which Bothan dancer was this?
Almagill
Thu Feb 10, 2005 8:15 pm
#11
Phenix1050 wrote:You people are all very, very sick. Except the one who wanted to marry me. If you're a Bothan chick, I'll love you forever.BTW....which Bothan dancer was this?
You just KNOW he's preening...
GreenDragonMaster
Thu Feb 10, 2005 10:10 pm
#12
Breaking news....
In the wake of his population contoll efforts, the prized Bob Barker award had been presented to JBMat. JB has also been offered the coveted job as the host of the new hit show "The Ranger is Right".
In a related story...
Phenix, after losing his manhood, has taken a job as a Showcase girl. Phenix had been quoted as saying, "I feel very confused, but it's going to be great working with the other ladies."
We now return you to your regularly scheduled show, already in progress....
In the wake of his population contoll efforts, the prized Bob Barker award had been presented to JBMat. JB has also been offered the coveted job as the host of the new hit show "The Ranger is Right".
In a related story...
Phenix, after losing his manhood, has taken a job as a Showcase girl. Phenix had been quoted as saying, "I feel very confused, but it's going to be great working with the other ladies."
We now return you to your regularly scheduled show, already in progress....
Bassnet13
Fri Feb 11, 2005 1:17 pm
#13
Phenix1050 wrote:You people are all very, very sick. Except the one who wanted to marry me. If you're a Bothan chick, I'll love you forever.
Two, actually, and a Bothan dude. The ladies are a Master Ranger/Pistoleer and a Master Entertainer/Dancer/Musician (who will never wear anyhting remotely similar to.. those, um, things...). The Dude's all confused, what with this force thing and some village... but he has a big sort-of swordish thing that is supposedly related to a scythe somehow, but doesn't actually look like one.
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