Pilot Archive
Thread: http://www.hurm.com/nowheresville/archives/2003/08/gripe_sheets_ar.php
Page 1 of 1
HiroTanaka
Fri Mar 04, 2005 8:50 pm
#1
If you fly for CorSec the second Pilot Trainer that you'll talk to (the Captain) will eventually tell you a story about "technicians must be on the spice or something" and read off a series of technician reports that they sent him.
Every single one of these is quote verbatim from actual airline technician reports submitted by techs working for Australia’s own Quantas Airlines!
Note: Quantas is also the only airline in the world that's never had a single plane crash.
Every single one of these is quote verbatim from actual airline technician reports submitted by techs working for Australia’s own Quantas Airlines!
Note: Quantas is also the only airline in the world that's never had a single plane crash.
Remilliod
Sat Mar 05, 2005 5:24 am
#3
HiroTanaka wrote:
If you fly for CorSec the second Pilot Trainer that you'll talk to (the Captain) will eventually tell you a story about "technicians must be on the spice or something" and read off a series of technician reports that they sent him.
Every single one of these is quote verbatim from actual airline technician reports submitted by techs working for Australia’s own Quantas Airlines!
Note: Quantas is also the only airline in the world that's never had a single plane crash.
Ive just done that mission and I thought exactly the same thing. I read those technician reports from Quantas a while ago.
Theyre funny though. I can see why the devs included them.
GregorianPipes
Sat Mar 05, 2005 8:15 am
#4
I'm just curious, but were the Qantas reports published, or a big news story or something? I'm just trying to figure why people would recognize the lines from SWG as Qantas techincal reports.
Tarina
Sat Mar 05, 2005 8:56 am
#5
They've been passed around on the internet; they're fairly common knowledge among people who have e-mail or log onto chat groups.
SheenaBrelya
Sat Mar 05, 2005 10:23 am
#6
I vaguely remember reading them, but would not have made the connection had it not been pointed out to me - good eye.
Shona
Shona
HiroTanaka
Thu Mar 10, 2005 9:50 am
#7
From the website listed in the header (if yer feeling lazy):
"After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.
(P = The problem logged by the pilot.)
(S = The solution and action taken by the mechanics.)
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget."
"After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.
(P = The problem logged by the pilot.)
(S = The solution and action taken by the mechanics.)
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget."
Page 1 of 1