Jedi Archive
Thread: What George wopuld have written if SWG Master Powers were in the movies
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WinkerPeeper
Tue Aug 19, 2003 8:29 pm
#1
Supreme Chancellor: Did you ever hear of Darth Plagueis "the wise"? I thought not. It's not a story the Jedi would tell you. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful he could use the Force to could actually save himself from death.
Anakin Skywalker: Did he succeed?
Supreme Chancellor: Well, not precisely. He attacked a butterfly outside Theed and was torn to pieces.
Supreme Chancellor: Well, not precisely. He attacked a butterfly outside Theed and was torn to pieces.
Anakin Skywalker: "Not precisely"?
Supreme Chancellor:The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities. Some considered to be...rubbish.
WinkerPeeper
Sat Oct 22, 2005 8:09 pm
#2
Governor Tarkin: Obi-Wan Kenobi?
Darth Vader: He is here.
Governor Tarkin: What makes you think so?
Darth Vader: A tremor in the Force. The last time I felt it was in the presence of my old master. He is on this vessel now.
Tea Lady: Hello, boys. Tea? Coffee? Nutty snacks? Anyone? Anyone? No? I'll be off then.
Darth Vader: He is here.
Governor Tarkin: What makes you think so?
Darth Vader: A tremor in the Force. The last time I felt it was in the presence of my old master. He is on this vessel now.
Tea Lady: Hello, boys. Tea? Coffee? Nutty snacks? Anyone? Anyone? No? I'll be off then.
Governor Tarkin: Good prediction, metalhead.
Luke: How did my father die?
Obi-Wan: A young Jedi named Darth Vader, who was a pupil of mine until he turned to evil, helped the Empire hunt down and destroy the Jedi knights. He confronted your father and attacked him. Your father was laughing so hard as he brushed off Vader's Lightning like carpet static and watched him accidentally Area Intimidate a Roba who bit him for 7625 Damage, he tripped and sat down on his own light saber.
Obi-Wan: A young Jedi named Darth Vader, who was a pupil of mine until he turned to evil, helped the Empire hunt down and destroy the Jedi knights. He confronted your father and attacked him. Your father was laughing so hard as he brushed off Vader's Lightning like carpet static and watched him accidentally Area Intimidate a Roba who bit him for 7625 Damage, he tripped and sat down on his own light saber.
Stormtrooper: Let me see your identification.
Obi-Wan: [influencing the stormtrooper's mind] You don't need to see his identification.
Stormtrooper: I said, let me see your identification.
Obi-Wan: These aren't the droids you're looking for.
Stormtrooper: Excuse me? The the identification?
Obi-Wan: [influencing the stormtrooper's mind] You don't need to see his identification.
Stormtrooper: I said, let me see your identification.
Obi-Wan: These aren't the droids you're looking for.
Stormtrooper: Excuse me? The the identification?
Obi-Wan: He can go about his business.
Stormtrooper: Zk-101, arrest this old fart and his be-mulleted catamite.
Luke: Yoda... Is the dark side stronger?
Yoda: No, no, no. Quicker, easier, more seductive.
Luke: But how am I to know the good side from the bad?
Yoda: You will know... when you are calm, at peace, passive. A Jedi uses his Powers for knowledge and defense, never for attack. Or defence. Or fighting. Or knowledge.
Stormtrooper: Zk-101, arrest this old fart and his be-mulleted catamite.
Luke: Yoda... Is the dark side stronger?
Yoda: No, no, no. Quicker, easier, more seductive.
Luke: But how am I to know the good side from the bad?
Yoda: You will know... when you are calm, at peace, passive. A Jedi uses his Powers for knowledge and defense, never for attack. Or defence. Or fighting. Or knowledge.
Admiral Ozzel: [appearing onscreen with Captain Piett] Lord Vader, the fleet has moved out of lightspeed and we're preparing to...
[Ozzel stops, and suddenly begins to choke, clutching at his throat]
Darth Vader: You have failed me for the last time, Admiral. Captain Piett?
Captain Piett: Yes, my lord?
Darth Vader: Make ready to land our troops beyond their energy field, and deploy the fleet, so that nothing gets off the system.
Admiral Ozzel: Oooh, thank goodness, my Jawbreaker went down the wrong way. All better now. So, where were we?
[Ozzel stops, and suddenly begins to choke, clutching at his throat]
Darth Vader: You have failed me for the last time, Admiral. Captain Piett?
Captain Piett: Yes, my lord?
Darth Vader: Make ready to land our troops beyond their energy field, and deploy the fleet, so that nothing gets off the system.
Admiral Ozzel: Oooh, thank goodness, my Jawbreaker went down the wrong way. All better now. So, where were we?
Darth Vader: You are in command now, Admiral Piett.
Admiral Ozzel: Hello? Hello? Is this viewscreen on? Admiral on the deck here.
Admiral Piett: Thank you, Lord Vader.
Admiral Ozzel: Oh, why don't you two go into a corner and take Polaroids of each other's wieners! You'll be hearing from my union.
Admiral Piett: Thank you, Lord Vader.
Admiral Ozzel: Oh, why don't you two go into a corner and take Polaroids of each other's wieners! You'll be hearing from my union.
The Emperor: Everything that has transpired has done so according to my design. Your friends, up there on the sanctuary moon,will evade mytrap, as will your Rebel fleet. It was *I* who allowed the Alliance to know the location of the shield generator. It will be utterly destroyed by your pitiful little band. Oh, I'm afraid the deflector shield will be quite defunct when your friends arrive and you fleet attacks this fuly armed and operational Deathstar with exactly the same Exploding Backdoor as the last one. I am the Walrus. Koo-koo-ke-choo. Nurse, I want my pills and my blue blankie.
Darth Vader: You cannot hide forever, Luke.
Luke: I will not fight you.
Darth Vader: Give yourself to the Dark Side. It is the only way you can save your friends. Yes, your thoughts betray you. Your feelings for them are strong. Especially for... aunt. So, you have a twin aunt.
Luke: I will not fight you.
Darth Vader: Give yourself to the Dark Side. It is the only way you can save your friends. Yes, your thoughts betray you. Your feelings for them are strong. Especially for... aunt. So, you have a twin aunt.
Luke: Twin aunt? It is true, you are more man than machine now, aren't you? And most of that machien was programmed by SOE? Am I right?
Message Edited by WinkerPeeper on 10-22-2005 08:12 PM
Riese64
Sat Oct 22, 2005 8:20 pm
#5
Great Post
Ok Kinda scary that you knew the movie quotes so well......but damn funny
WinkerPeeper
Sat Oct 22, 2005 8:29 pm
#7
Supreme Chancellor: Did you ever hear of Darth Plagueis "the wise"? I thought not. It's not a story the Jedi would tell you. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful he could use the Force to could actually save himself from death.
Anakin Skywalker: Did he succeed?
Supreme Chancellor: Well, not precisely. He attacked a butterfly outside Theed and was torn to pieces.
Supreme Chancellor: Well, not precisely. He attacked a butterfly outside Theed and was torn to pieces.
Anakin Skywalker: "Not precisely"?
Supreme Chancellor:The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities. Some considered to be...rubbish.
redoubt
Sat Oct 22, 2005 8:36 pm
#8
THANK YOU! First time I have smiled about this game in a week! This is great!
saxman08291978
Sat Oct 22, 2005 8:48 pm
#9
Admiral Ozzel: [appearing onscreen with Captain Piett] Lord Vader, the fleet has moved out of lightspeed and we're preparing to...
[Ozzel stops, and suddenly begins to choke, clutching at his throat]
Darth Vader: You have failed me for the last time, Admiral. Captain Piett?
Captain Piett: Yes, my lord?
Darth Vader: Make ready to land our troops beyond their energy field, and deploy the fleet, so that nothing gets off the system.
Admiral Ozzel: Oooh, thank goodness, my Jawbreaker went down the wrong way. All better now. So, where were we?
[Ozzel stops, and suddenly begins to choke, clutching at his throat]
Darth Vader: You have failed me for the last time, Admiral. Captain Piett?
Captain Piett: Yes, my lord?
Darth Vader: Make ready to land our troops beyond their energy field, and deploy the fleet, so that nothing gets off the system.
Admiral Ozzel: Oooh, thank goodness, my Jawbreaker went down the wrong way. All better now. So, where were we?
Darth Vader: You are in command now, Admiral Piett.
Admiral Ozzel: Hello? Hello? Is this viewscreen on? Admiral on the deck here.
Admiral Piett: Thank you, Lord Vader.
Admiral Ozzel: Oh, why don't you two go into a corner and take Polaroids of each other's wieners! You'll be hearing from my union.
Admiral Piett: Thank you, Lord Vader.
Admiral Ozzel: Oh, why don't you two go into a corner and take Polaroids of each other's wieners! You'll be hearing from my union.
AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!
Won-eye
Sat Oct 22, 2005 10:36 pm
#12
This bit got me...
Luke: How did my father die?
Obi-Wan: A young Jedi named Darth Vader, who was a pupil of mine until he turned to evil, helped the Empire hunt down and destroy the Jedi knights. He confronted your father and attacked him. Your father was laughing so hard as he brushed off Vader's Lightning like carpet static and watched him accidentally Area Intimidate a Roba who bit him for 7625 Damage, he tripped and sat down on his own light saber.
Luke: How did my father die?
Obi-Wan: A young Jedi named Darth Vader, who was a pupil of mine until he turned to evil, helped the Empire hunt down and destroy the Jedi knights. He confronted your father and attacked him. Your father was laughing so hard as he brushed off Vader's Lightning like carpet static and watched him accidentally Area Intimidate a Roba who bit him for 7625 Damage, he tripped and sat down on his own light saber.
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