Game Guides Archive
Thread: Typical 1 day, 1 hours, 32 minutes and 42 seonds of John Incognito
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Talasa
Thu Sep 02, 2004 8:26 pm
#1
It is 7 o'clock AM. John Incognito just stood up, ate breakfast and is now sitting in front of his computer. He only has one goal - to become Jedi as fast as possible. So logs on to SWG, because he heard some old grandpa is going to come visit him to finally give him his lightsaber.
[5 minutes of playing later, the Old man has not arrived yet]
John logs on to the forums, because ... well, he pays SOE money - and so it is his friggin right to get his Jedi right now! He opens a thread about the Old Man not visiting him on the Game Guides forums. Ten people reply, two flaming him to hell for apparently no reason (something about conducting a search), a few others just spam (the bastards! how dare they!) and two give him the advise to check his force status. John switches back ingame.
[1 minute later]
John just typed in "/check". It says something about glowing. Glowing? Huh? Back to the forums!
[30 seconds later]
John opens a thread in the Game Guides forum again, but this time also in the Jedi forum to be sure he gets an answer. Almost 8 minutes and still no Jedi! He names his threads "I AM GLOWING AND STILL NO OLD MAN VISIT!" Writing in caps will help getting answers quicker, thats for sure.
[3 minutes later]
No replies. John bumps both threads.
[2 minutes later]
The buggers! /bump
[2 minutes later]
Ah finally, an answer. Okay ... something about groups, gating unlockers, glowies and this fabled old man. So he only visits certain people at certain times. John smiles happily, as he is playing SWG for 12 months straight now. Surely SOE will acknowledge this and make him get visited very soon.
[10 seconds of intense thinking later]
John opens a thread in his servers forum and in General Star Wars (non SWG). He names it "PLZ HLP A M8 WHAT GRP M I IN?" In this thread he explains what he has accomplished ingame so far and demands other people to do the maths. Luckily, within one minute he gets a reply in the General Star Wars (Non SWG) forum. "WFN!" What the hell does WFN! mean? That little maggot. He checks his other thread where someone told him in which group he is. Group One. Excellent. So the old man is coming very soon. John logs back to SWG.
[1 hour of gaming later]
John is back on the forums. He opens a thread in Core Systems: "SOE IS CHEATIN ON US THERE IS NO OLD MAN!" He explains how the Old man not visiting him still is the proof SOE is lying and the Old Man is not in Live yet. John also threatens to cancel his account. He switches back to SWG.
[20 minutes later, the Old Man is standing in front of John]
John and the Old Man stare at each other. Sweating, John tries to remember what he read on the forums. This is the time. Finally. He dreams about his lightsaber, his shiny new robes and all the Rebels he is going to kill (John is going to become a Dark Jedi, because that is much more cool and he will probably be one of the few going this path). He dreams about his "Jedi Knight" tag above his head he is going to wear 24/7 and wherever he is going. And how he is going to show everyone he is a Jedi by doing those neat F/X tricks. Hah ... his dreams are so close now. There is noth.... the Old Man runs off.
[2 seconds later, nobody has hit ALT-TAB so quickly before]
A thread pops up in the Profession: Dancer forum (who cares, he needs to vent FAST!). It is titled "FCK YOU SOE THE OLD MAN JUST VISITED ME AN HE RANA WAY I QUIT!" There is no text within the thread, surely his message was clear enough. No way he is gonna pay any more for this **edit**e game, WoW is coming very soon. John, still furious, deinstalls SWG and cancels his account.
[1 day later, at 8:32:42 AM]
John reinstalls SWG. Fook you SOE, John is going to be a Jedi whether you like it or not. There are many threads to make still, and he will not give up.
FIN
-------
Aaaah, don't ask me what the point of this is. It's just that Chimaera is down
I can also recommend www.pwned.nl for a fine flash example of those people. 
[5 minutes of playing later, the Old man has not arrived yet]
John logs on to the forums, because ... well, he pays SOE money - and so it is his friggin right to get his Jedi right now! He opens a thread about the Old Man not visiting him on the Game Guides forums. Ten people reply, two flaming him to hell for apparently no reason (something about conducting a search), a few others just spam (the bastards! how dare they!) and two give him the advise to check his force status. John switches back ingame.
[1 minute later]
John just typed in "/check". It says something about glowing. Glowing? Huh? Back to the forums!
[30 seconds later]
John opens a thread in the Game Guides forum again, but this time also in the Jedi forum to be sure he gets an answer. Almost 8 minutes and still no Jedi! He names his threads "I AM GLOWING AND STILL NO OLD MAN VISIT!" Writing in caps will help getting answers quicker, thats for sure.
[3 minutes later]
No replies. John bumps both threads.
[2 minutes later]
The buggers! /bump
[2 minutes later]
Ah finally, an answer. Okay ... something about groups, gating unlockers, glowies and this fabled old man. So he only visits certain people at certain times. John smiles happily, as he is playing SWG for 12 months straight now. Surely SOE will acknowledge this and make him get visited very soon.
[10 seconds of intense thinking later]
John opens a thread in his servers forum and in General Star Wars (non SWG). He names it "PLZ HLP A M8 WHAT GRP M I IN?" In this thread he explains what he has accomplished ingame so far and demands other people to do the maths. Luckily, within one minute he gets a reply in the General Star Wars (Non SWG) forum. "WFN!" What the hell does WFN! mean? That little maggot. He checks his other thread where someone told him in which group he is. Group One. Excellent. So the old man is coming very soon. John logs back to SWG.
[1 hour of gaming later]
John is back on the forums. He opens a thread in Core Systems: "SOE IS CHEATIN ON US THERE IS NO OLD MAN!" He explains how the Old man not visiting him still is the proof SOE is lying and the Old Man is not in Live yet. John also threatens to cancel his account. He switches back to SWG.
[20 minutes later, the Old Man is standing in front of John]
John and the Old Man stare at each other. Sweating, John tries to remember what he read on the forums. This is the time. Finally. He dreams about his lightsaber, his shiny new robes and all the Rebels he is going to kill (John is going to become a Dark Jedi, because that is much more cool and he will probably be one of the few going this path). He dreams about his "Jedi Knight" tag above his head he is going to wear 24/7 and wherever he is going. And how he is going to show everyone he is a Jedi by doing those neat F/X tricks. Hah ... his dreams are so close now. There is noth.... the Old Man runs off.
[2 seconds later, nobody has hit ALT-TAB so quickly before]
A thread pops up in the Profession: Dancer forum (who cares, he needs to vent FAST!). It is titled "FCK YOU SOE THE OLD MAN JUST VISITED ME AN HE RANA WAY I QUIT!" There is no text within the thread, surely his message was clear enough. No way he is gonna pay any more for this **edit**e game, WoW is coming very soon. John, still furious, deinstalls SWG and cancels his account.
[1 day later, at 8:32:42 AM]
John reinstalls SWG. Fook you SOE, John is going to be a Jedi whether you like it or not. There are many threads to make still, and he will not give up.
FIN
-------
Aaaah, don't ask me what the point of this is. It's just that Chimaera is down
I can also recommend www.pwned.nl for a fine flash example of those people.
Whatajoke
Thu Sep 02, 2004 9:50 pm
#5
Its because people threaten to quit and never do, that the threats mean nothing to soe. PLease do us a favor, and make sure u are going to quit before making claims
that turn out not to be true.
that turn out not to be true.
BehKifft
Thu Sep 02, 2004 9:57 pm
#6
pal, just great. havent laughed that good in quite some time 
five stars 
greedo11
Thu Sep 02, 2004 10:07 pm
#7
Now John...let me remind you of realality. You see, normal people at 7:00AM are getting up to go to work or getting ready for class, not sitting at home with peanut M&Ms wishing to become a "jedi" on a compuer game. It just gets to me as to how people get up first thing and play a game all day...OH well i guess thats was SOE wants you to do since you give them $14.99 every month.
just thought id flame someone since I HAVE TO GET UP AT 7AM TO TAKE CLINICAL CLASS WHILE OTHERS FART AROUND AND BECOME "jedi"
have a nice day(starting at 7:00)
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