Entertainer Archive

Sorry, my bad.... change the "/whistle" to "/flourish X" whatever flourish you want

(No edit button yet....)

Here's another one, Original Score by Weird Al Yankovic, adapted to Macro by BountyBlunter....

/cough;
/emote begins playing to the tune of "American Pie" original lyrics by Weird Al Yankovic, Macro written by BountyBlunter
/pause 1;
/sing A long, long time ago;
/pause 4;
/sing In a galaxy far away;
/pause 3;
/sing Naboo was under an attack;
/pause 3;
/sing And I thought me and Qui-Gon Jinn;
/pause 4;
/sing Could talk the federation into;
/pause 2;
/sing Maybe cutting them a little slack;
/pause 4;
/sing But their response, it didn't thrill us;
/pause 3;
/sing They locked the doors and tried to kill us;
/pause 3;
/sing We escaped from that gas;
/pause 2;
/sing Then met Jar Jar and Boss Nass;
/pause 3;
/sing We took a bongo from the scene;
/pause 2;
/sing And we went to Theed to see the Queen;
/pause 3;
/sing We all wound up on Tatooine;
/pause 3;
/sing That's where we found this boy...;
/pause 2;
/emote force pulls a guitar into his hands and begins to strum.;
/pause 5;
/sing Oh my my this here Anakin guy;
/pause 2;
/sing May be Vader someday later - now he's just a small fry;
/pause 3;
/sing And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye;
/pause 3;
/sing Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi";
/pause 2;
/sing Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi;
/pause 3;
/emote gets into the rythm and looks over to the piano , wondering about the hooded figure who has appeared and started playing.;
/pause 1;
/sing Did you know this junkyard slave;
/pause 2;
/sing Isn't even old enough to shave;
/pause 2;
/sing And he can use the Force, they say;
/pause 2;
/sing Ahh, do you see him hitting on the queen;
/pause 2;
/sing Though he's just nine and she's fourteen;
/pause 2;
/sing Yah, he's probably gonna marry her someday;
/pause 4;
/sing Well, I knew he built C-3PO;
/pause 3;
/sing And I've heard how fast his pod can go;
/pause 3;
/sing And we were broke, it's true;
/pause 2;
/sing So we made a wager or two;
/pause 2;
/sing He was a prepubescent flyin' ace;
/pause 2;
/sing And the minute Jabba started off that race;
/pause 2;
/sing Well, I knew who would win first place;
/pause 2;
/sing Oh yes, it was our boy;
/pause 2;
/sing We started singin' ...;
/pause 3;
/sing My my this here Anakin guy;
/pause 3;
/sing May be Vader someday later - now he's just a small fry;
/pause 3;
/sing And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye;
/pause 3;
/sing Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi";
/pause 3;
/sing "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi";
/pause 6;
/sing Now we finally got to Coruscant;
/pause 3;
/sing The Jedi Council we knew would want;
/pause 3;
/sing To see how good the boy could be;
/pause 3;
/sing So we took him there and we told the tale;
/pause 3;
/sing How his midi-chlorians were off the scale;
/pause 3;
/sing And he might fulfill that prophecy;
/pause 4;
/sing Oh, the Council was impressed, of course;
/pause 2
/sing Could he bring balance to the Force?;
/pause 2;
/sing They interview the kid;
/pause 2;
/sing Oh, training they forbid;
/pause 2;
/sing Because Yoda sensed in him much fear;
/pause 3;
/sing And Qui-Gon said "Now listen here"
/pause 3;
/sing "Just stick it in your pointy ear"
/pause 3;
/sing "I still will teach this boy"
/pause 3;
/sing He was singin' ...;
/pause 3;
/sing My my this here Anakin guy;
/pause 3;
/sing May be Vader someday later - now he's just a small fry;
/pause 3;
/sing And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye;
/pause 3;
/sing Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi";
/pause 3;
/sing "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi";
/pause 4;
/sing We caught a ride back to Naboo;
/pause 3;
/sing 'Cause Queen Amidala wanted to;
/pause 2;
/sing I frankly would've liked to stay;
/pause 3;
/sing We all fought in that epic war;
/pause 3;
/sing And it wasn't long at all before;
/pause 2;
/sing Little Hotshot flew his plane and saved the day;
/pause 4;
/sing And in the end some Gunguns died;
/pause 3;
/sing Some ships blew up and some pilots fried;
/pause 3;
/sing A lot of folks were croakin';
/pause 2;
/sing The battle droids were broken;
/pause 2;
/sing And the Jedi I admire most;
/pause 2;
/sing Met up with Darth Maul and now he's toast;
/pause 3;
/sing Well, I'm still here and he's a ghost;
/pause 3;
/sing I guess I'll train this boy;
/pause 5;
/sing And I was singin' ...;
/pause 4;
/sing My my this here Anakin guy;
/pause 4;
/sing May be Vader someday later - now he's just a small fry;
/pause 4;
/sing And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye;
/pause 4;
/sing Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi";
/pause 4;
/sing "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi";
/pause 4;
/sing We were singin' ...;
/pause 4;
/sing My my this here Anakin guy;
/pause 4;
/sing May be Vader someday later - now he's just a small fry;
/pause 4;
/sing And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye;
/pause 7;
/sing Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi";
/emote looks around, then watches a small bush get blown across the floor by an eerie gust of wind.. Church bells sound in the distance..
/emote grin;

And here's the one that started it all... the famed Teras Kazi LumberJack song! (Originally the Monty Python LumberJack song... adapted with SWG lyrics and original macro by BountyBlunter... (This Macro actually works for an AFK TKA which is not suggested or endorsed by the artist or this poster. Replace all the unarmed hits with flourishes though and it would be hilarious in Theed cantinna!)

/cough;
/emote Original Song by Monty Python, "The LumberJack Song" Adapted and Macro'd by BountyBlunter
/pause 3;
/attack;
/pause 3;
/sing I'm a TKA and I'm okay,;
/unarmedStun1;
/pause 4;
/sing I sleep all night and I grind all day.;
/unarmedBlind1;
/pause 4;
/emote hears voices coming from the TKA in the distance chanting "He's a TKA and he's okay, he sleeps all night and he grinds all day.";
/unarmedHit1;
/pause 4;
/sing I dislocate you knees, and knock you down,;
/unarmedHit1;
/pause 4;
/sing then spin repeatidly.;
/unarmedHit1;
/pause 4;
/sing On Wednesdays I go griefing, And cry pwnage frequently.;
/unarmedHit1;
/pause 4;
/emote hears voices coming from the TKA in the distance chanting "He dislocates your knees, and knocks you down, then then spins repeatidly. On Wednesdays he goes griefing, And cries pwnage frequently";
/unarmedHit1;
/pause 4;
/emote hears voices coming from the TKA in the distance chanting "He's a TKA and he's okay, He sleeps all night and he grinds all day.";
/unarmedHit1;
/pause 4;
/sing I dislocate your knees, I punch and kick,;
/unarmedStun1;
/pause 4;
/sing I can carry on for hours.;
/unarmedBlind1;
/pause 4;
/sing But when I put on Vibro Knuckles, I drain my own HAM bars.;
/unarmedHit1;
/pause 4;
/emote hears voices coming from the TKA in the distance chanting "He dislocates your knees, He punches and kicks, He can carry on for hours. But when he puts on Vibro knuckles, he drains his own HAM bars.";
/unarmedHit1;
/pause 4;
/emote hears voices coming from the TKA in the distance chanting "He's a TKA and he's okay, He sleeps all night and he grinds all day.";
/unarmedHit1;
/pause 4;
/sing I dislocate your knees, I blind and stun, I kick you when your down.;
/unarmedHit1;
/pause 4;
/sing If I ever duel you... your pants will turn dark brown.;
/unarmedHit1;
/pause 4;
/emote hears voices coming from the TKA in the distance chanting "He dislocate your knees, He blinds and stuns, He kicks you when your down., If he ever duels you, your pants will turn dark brown.";
/unarmedHit1;
/pause 4;
/emote hears voices coming from the TKA in the distance chanting "He's a TKA and he's okay, He sleeps all night and he grinds all day.";
/unarmedHit1;
/pause 4;
/sing If I ever duel you... your pants will turn dark brown.;
/emote holds that note for a further four seconds creating a nice finish..
/pause 4;
/cough;
/grin;
/bow;

Now that is a quality song!

---

TempestSquad01 wrote:

Just seeing children use the word "kewl" makes me want to stab myself in the throat with a pencil.

---

Not a child just typing in my usual short-hand, don't like it? Get off the internet....

/emote stabs you in the throat with a pencil again for good measure.....

Disclaimer: The following are not by me, I just pulled them from a site somewhere because they are hilarious...

Hi! My name is.. (what?) My name is.. (who?)
My name is.. {scratches} Mr. Piett
Hi! My name is.. (huh?) My name is.. (what?)
My name is.. {scratches} Mr. Piett

Hi! My name is.. (what?) My name is.. (who?)
My name is.. {scratches} Mr. Piett
Hi! My name is.. (huh?) My name is.. (what?)
My name is.. {scratches} Mr. Piett

Ahem! Excuse me, can I have the attention of the bridge for a second?

Hi, folks. Do you hate Rebels? ( Yeah, Yeah! )
Wanna see me stick 9 inch vibroblades up their ---
Wanna copy me and get promoted to Admiral? ( Yeah, Yeah! )
Whatch Ozzel exit hyperspace too late and whatch his life get ended? ( Huh? )
My shoes're dead weight, I'm trying to keep my hat on straight
But I can't figure out which Rebel I want to incinerate
And Mr. Vader said " You are in command now, Admiral Piett "
Yeehaw! Ozzel.. why's your face so red? Oh my God! You're dead!
Well since age 18, I've been killin' Rebs
First, I ejected them in to space with the rest of the Debris
Got pissed off and ripped a Jawa's cloak off
And laughed so hard the Jawa ran crying back to his Sandcrawler!
I wasted a whole X-Wing squadron and whatched em blow up
Faster than the Millenium Falcon in HS
Hold Fire! ( We're not going to attack? )
That's what I said you idiot, I have my orders from the Emperor Himself!

Hi! My name is.. (what?) My name is.. (who?)
My name is.. {scratches} Mr. Piett
Hi! My name is.. (huh?) My name is.. (what?)
My name is.. {scratches} Mr. Piett

My teacher gave me perfect scores at the academy
Thanks, Coach, by the Battle of Endor I'll be 45
I smacked Ackbar in the face with a holo-projector
Chased him down with a Data-Pad, whacked him in the nuts with a DL-44 (
OWWWW! )
Walked in to the Home One, I was all slicked up
Stuck a thermal Detonator in the bridge

TIE Pilots, runnin' over civilians
From the cockpit they screamed " Die you Rebel Scum! "
99 percent of all Rebels died 'cause of what I did
I just found out that Vader had more fans that I did ( Darn! )
I told my mom I'd grow up to be a famous Imperial
Get a SSD and name it after the family (Thanks! )
You know the TIE blew up when it hit the asteroid
he tried to pull up and screamed in to his comm. ( Ahhhhhh! )
This kid on Coruscant asked me for my autograph
(Admiral, can I have your autograph? )
So I signed it: Dear Timmy, keep on truckin "

Hi! My name is.. (what?) My name is.. (who?)
My name is.. {scratches} Mr. Piett
Hi! My name is.. (huh?) My name is.. (what?)
My name is.. {scratches} Mr. Piett

It was an older code, sir, I was about to clear it
Lt., don't just sit there! OPERATE!
I'm not ready to die, not on this SSD ( Screw That! )
I'll have to be carried inside the hanger and ejected alive
Use TurboLaser's or Stormtroopers, I can't decide
I just drank some illegal Ale, and Im still fit for command
All my life I've been honored
I've had 20 women in the past year, and my boots are to shiny not to show off
I'm ripped, like the Incredible Hulk ( Whistles )
I've got a Britich accent when I talk, I'll kill any Rebel even if they can't walk
When I was little I was so blood thirsty I'd throw up fits
Lets go kill some Rebs, Mom!
Not now, Son, you need your rest ( WAHHHH! )
I lay awake, they need to strap me to the bed
Troops with armor on take kill bolts to the head
I'm Steaming mad ( grrr.. )
Oh, and by the way, when you see Skywalker ( Yeah? )
Tell him I'll slit his throat with this saber I have

Hi! My name is.. (what?) My name is.. (who?)
My name is.. {scratches} Mr. Piett
Hi! My name is.. (huh?) My name is.. (what?)
My name is.. {scratches} Mr. Piett

Some Imps kiss me, some Imps hug me
I think their okay
If they don have a Star Destroyer
I just walk away

They can beg and they can plead
But they can't see the light, that's right
'Cause the man with Admiral's rank
Is always Mister Right

'Cause we are living in a Imperial world
And I am an Imperial girl
You know that we are living in a Imperial world
And I am a Imperial girl

Some are Governers, some are Grand Moff's
That's all right with me
If they can't outwit Rebel Fleets
Have to let them be

Some Imps try and some Imps lie but
I don't let them play
Only Admirals sporting medals
Make my rainy day

'Cause we are living in a Imperial world
And I am an Imperial girl
You know that we are living in a Imperial world
And I am a Imperial girl

Imps may come and Imps may go
And that's all right you see
I met an Admiral his name's Piett
And he's great as can be

'Cause we are living in a Imperial world
And I am an Imperial girl
You know that we are living in a Imperial world
And I am a Imperial girl

Too damn funny! Keep em comin folks! LMAO!

A conversion of the classic "scotsman" song:
(haven't added the emotes or socals, sorry)

A wookiee clad in kilt, left a bar one evening fair,
and one could tell, by how he walked, that he'd drunk more than his share,
he fumbled round until he could no longer keep his feet
and he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street

Ring ding diddle diddle i dee oh,
Ring di diddly i oh,
he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street

About that time two young and lovely twi’leks happened by
and one said to the other with a twinkle in her eye
See yon sleeping wookiee so strong and handsome built
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt

Ring ding diddle diddle i dee oh,
Ring di diddly i oh,
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt

They crept up on the sleeping wook as quiet as could be,
And lifted up his kilt an inch to see what they could see,
And there behold for them to view beneath his wookish skirt,
Was nothin' more than God had graced him with upon his birth.

Ring ding diddle diddle i dee oh,
Ring di diddly i oh,
Was nothin' more than God had graced him with upon his birth.

They marvelled for a moment then one said we must be gone,
Let's leave a present for our friend before we move along.
As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon tied into a bow,
Around the bonnie star the wook's kilt did lift and show.

Ring ding diddle diddle i dee oh,
Ring di diddly i oh,
Around the bonnie star the wook's kilt did lift and show.

Now the wookiee woke to nature's call, and stumbled for the trees,
Behind the bush he lifts his kilt, and gawks at what he sees,
And in a startled voice he says, to what's before his eyes,
Ah, lad I don't know where ya been but I see ya won first prize!

Ring ding diddle diddle i dee oh,
Ring di diddly i oh,
Ah, lad I don't know where ya been but I see ya won first prize!

I'm going to create an entertainer on test center and convert all of these songs into macro's. Just for the funny factor!!