Doctor Archive
Thread: Doctor Poetry...enjoy
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Xix13
Mon Mar 29, 2004 11:47 pm
#1
You may talk o' Jawa Beer
When you're quartered safe out 'ere,
An' you're sent to Sleemo Fights and escort missions;
But when it comes to tough stuf
You will do your work on doc buffs,
An' you'll lick the bloomin' boots of 'im that's got 'em.
Now in Yavin's sunny clime,
Where I used to spend my time
A-servin' of 'Er Majesty the Princess.
Of all them odd-faced crew
The finest mammal I knew
Was our regimental bhisti, Gunga Xix,
He was "Xix! Xix! Xix!
"You limpin' lump o' space-dust, Gunga Xix!
"Hi! Slippy hitherao!
"Buff me, get it? Panee lao,
"You squidgy-nosed old mammal, Gunga Xix."
The uniform 'e wore
Was nothin' much before,
An' rather less than 'arf o' that be'ind,
For some beat Ubese crap
An' a basic travel pack
Was all the field-equipment 'e could find.
When the comp-clad troop-train lay
In a starport through the day,
Where the spam would make your bloomin' eyebrows crawl,
We shouted 'Harry By!'
Till our throats were bricky-dry,
Then we flamed 'im 'cause 'e couldn't buff us all.
It was "Xix! Xix! Xix!
"You 'eathen, where the mischief 'ave you been?
"You put some juldee in it
"Or I'll marrow you this minute
"If you don't enhance my Quickness, Gunga Xix!"
'E would dot an' carry one
Till the longest day was done;
An' 'e didn't seem to know the use o' fear.
If we charged or broke or cut,
You can bet your bloomin' nut,
'E'd be waitin' fifteen meters to our rear.
With 'is pack upon 'is back,
'E would skip with our attack,
An' watch us till Squad Leader yelled "Retire,"
An' for all 'is mammal 'ide
'E was Dosh, pure Dosh, inside
When 'e went to tend the wounded under fire!
It was "Xix! Xix! Xix!"
With the blasters kickin' dust-spots on the green.
When the particle beams ran out,
You could hear the front-ranks shout,
"Hi ammunition-mules an' Gunga Xix!"
I shan't forget the night
When I dropped be'ind the fight
With a blaster where my PSG should 'a' been.
I was chokin' mad with thirst,
An' the man that spied me first
Was our good old grinnin', gruntin' Gunga Xix.
'E lifted up me 'ead,
An' he healed me where I bled,
An' 'e guv me a shot of stimpack-E.
It was crawlin' and it stunk,
But of all the drinks I've drunk,
I'm gratefullest to one from Gunga Xix.
It was "Xix! Xix! Xix!
"'Ere's a begger with a blaster through 'is spleen;
"'E's incapped on the ground,
"An' there's aggros all around:
"For Gawd's sake use a stimpack, Gunga Xix!"
'E carried me away
To where a TK lay,
An' a blaster come an' drilled the begger clean.
'E put me safe inside,
An' just before 'e died,
"I 'ope you liked your buff," sez Gunga Xix.
So I'll meet 'im later on
At the place where 'e is gone --
Where it's always double Krayts and no cantina.
'E'll be squattin' on the coals
Enhancing stats of poor damned souls,
An' I'll get a buff in hell from Gunga Xix!
Yes, Xix! Xix! Xix!
You Talusian mammal Gunga Xix!
Though I've belted you and flamed you,
By the livin' Gawd that made you,
You're a better being than I am, Gunga Xix!
Apologies to Rudyard Kipling.
When you're quartered safe out 'ere,
An' you're sent to Sleemo Fights and escort missions;
But when it comes to tough stuf
You will do your work on doc buffs,
An' you'll lick the bloomin' boots of 'im that's got 'em.
Now in Yavin's sunny clime,
Where I used to spend my time
A-servin' of 'Er Majesty the Princess.
Of all them odd-faced crew
The finest mammal I knew
Was our regimental bhisti, Gunga Xix,
He was "Xix! Xix! Xix!
"You limpin' lump o' space-dust, Gunga Xix!
"Hi! Slippy hitherao!
"Buff me, get it? Panee lao,
"You squidgy-nosed old mammal, Gunga Xix."
The uniform 'e wore
Was nothin' much before,
An' rather less than 'arf o' that be'ind,
For some beat Ubese crap
An' a basic travel pack
Was all the field-equipment 'e could find.
When the comp-clad troop-train lay
In a starport through the day,
Where the spam would make your bloomin' eyebrows crawl,
We shouted 'Harry By!'
Till our throats were bricky-dry,
Then we flamed 'im 'cause 'e couldn't buff us all.
It was "Xix! Xix! Xix!
"You 'eathen, where the mischief 'ave you been?
"You put some juldee in it
"Or I'll marrow you this minute
"If you don't enhance my Quickness, Gunga Xix!"
'E would dot an' carry one
Till the longest day was done;
An' 'e didn't seem to know the use o' fear.
If we charged or broke or cut,
You can bet your bloomin' nut,
'E'd be waitin' fifteen meters to our rear.
With 'is pack upon 'is back,
'E would skip with our attack,
An' watch us till Squad Leader yelled "Retire,"
An' for all 'is mammal 'ide
'E was Dosh, pure Dosh, inside
When 'e went to tend the wounded under fire!
It was "Xix! Xix! Xix!"
With the blasters kickin' dust-spots on the green.
When the particle beams ran out,
You could hear the front-ranks shout,
"Hi ammunition-mules an' Gunga Xix!"
I shan't forget the night
When I dropped be'ind the fight
With a blaster where my PSG should 'a' been.
I was chokin' mad with thirst,
An' the man that spied me first
Was our good old grinnin', gruntin' Gunga Xix.
'E lifted up me 'ead,
An' he healed me where I bled,
An' 'e guv me a shot of stimpack-E.
It was crawlin' and it stunk,
But of all the drinks I've drunk,
I'm gratefullest to one from Gunga Xix.
It was "Xix! Xix! Xix!
"'Ere's a begger with a blaster through 'is spleen;
"'E's incapped on the ground,
"An' there's aggros all around:
"For Gawd's sake use a stimpack, Gunga Xix!"
'E carried me away
To where a TK lay,
An' a blaster come an' drilled the begger clean.
'E put me safe inside,
An' just before 'e died,
"I 'ope you liked your buff," sez Gunga Xix.
So I'll meet 'im later on
At the place where 'e is gone --
Where it's always double Krayts and no cantina.
'E'll be squattin' on the coals
Enhancing stats of poor damned souls,
An' I'll get a buff in hell from Gunga Xix!
Yes, Xix! Xix! Xix!
You Talusian mammal Gunga Xix!
Though I've belted you and flamed you,
By the livin' Gawd that made you,
You're a better being than I am, Gunga Xix!
Apologies to Rudyard Kipling.
Message Edited by Xix13 on 03-30-2004 09:12 AM
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