Dancer Archive
Thread: Erotic Dance Guide Part Two
Page 1 of 1
FlawedDiamond
Tue Jul 29, 2003 7:16 am
#1
Images and Approaches:
Okay lets talk about the Images you're trying to create.
I will assume you are a woman and that you're dancing for a Man.
Forget the images you have of Romance. Forget loving relationships. Forget being a ..Good girl that he will respect in the morning. You're not trying to be a girlfriend or wife or partner. You're trying to be an Object of Desire!
Men DO differentiate between their Wives and Girlfriends and the Fantasy woman of their dreams. You're not trying to be the ideal Companion for him. You are trying to be the woman of his Fantasies and Dreams. In ONE sense it is demeaning. It means voluntarilly choosing to be little more than a Sex Object. Accept that! Men are NOT wired the way we are and CANNOT think as we do. ACCEPT it. Dislike it all you want. Condemn it. Complain about it with other women but....ACCEPT it for purposes of your dance. You're not dancing for another woman or a Boyfriend or husband. You're dancing for a MAN!
To SOME extent I think men DO view us as..Objects. I don't believe they CHOOSE to do so but do so as an automatic and involuntary response. I have my theories as to why but they're not really important. What matters is that they DO and you can use this fact in your dance.
The Image you are trying to create is one of the Willing woman who will fulfil his Every desire and fantasy. One who WANTS what HE wants. You are DANCING to entertain and Please him, not trying to build a relationship with him.
If you find that too distasteful thats fine but then perhaps Erotic Dancing is not for you.
Think of what you know of what men LIKE. Yes we think differently but we're not trying to please US. We're trying to please THEM. For the time of your dance you DO want what HE wants. And your dance signals that desire to him. Your words are to indicate to him that you DO share the same desire and want that he feels. Your approach SHOWS him your willingness to provide whatever he desires in whatever way he desires it.
Approaches:
I often use the Crawl during my approach, in an exotic leotard or a Wrap. Eiloo doesn't use the crawl since her style is more shy and reserved than mine. My style is Bold and Direct and ANYTHING but shy. But the Principle applies whatever your style. Your Approach is PART of your routine and not just movement.
I initiate a conversation with my target and ask him if he would like me to dance for him. I'll use personalizations such as 'You're the type of Man I LIKE to dance for.' to begin creating intimacy. I will ask him if he can see well enough. If I don't get a come hither signal of some kind I will ask directly 'Would you like me to come.. Closer?' In MOST case they will say yes. (If they don't then it I usually to switch my attention to another target. Laugh!) If they seem to be a strong person. i.e. not Shy and easily embarassed then I will often tell them something like 'OOO then why don't you TELL me to come closer?" trying to elicit a Command response from them like 'Come closer!' That opens up options for me to work with such as 'MMM I LIKE when a Man Tells me what to do!' or 'You're so STRONG. You're going to MAKE me dance closer to you aren't you?' If they are a strong personality you can then work with the images of submission and obedience. Shy men require a different approach. I generally tend to select and work with stronger men since it suits my style much better.
When they indicate they DO want me closer. I'll respond with something like 'MMMM I'd LIKE to dance closer to You.' Then I'll hit the Stopdance button Immediately followed by the Prone button. I'll tap the movement button varying my direction of movement from directly towards him or off at an angle until I'm perhaps 1/3 or 1/2 way to him. I take my time drawing out the approach as long as possible in most cases to give me time to guage his responses and to develop a game plan for how I will handle him.
Sometimes I'll stop, stand and begin dancing again. Some times if they are quick responders at the keyboard I'll just stop in prone and ask 'Is this... Close enough? or should I come...' (break and pause) 'Closer?'
In either case I eventually work my way to about 5 feet in front of them and I always approach from the side so that I am facing 90 degress away from them. That lets me control my positioning better. Then I stand and start FRANTICALLY beating the Startdance key until dance begins. Laugh!
They key HERE in this type of approach is your willingness to Lower yourself. To SUBMIT. To OBEY. The image of an erotically clad woman crawling across the floor towards a man is a Powerful image to which FEW men fail to respond. See the movie '9 1/2 Weeks' with a male friend to see the effect in action and the power it carries.
Another variant if you're already too close to a potential target to use the crawl is to stop, initiate a conversation and at some point stop and kneel facing them. Ask for their Explict Permission to dance for them. 'Please XXXX may I Dance for YOU?'
Let me reiterate a point. You are fulfilling HIS fantasy. NOT yours!
Whether you use the kneel, a simple walk or a crawl or a combination of them your approach serves two purposes.
1. Positioning
You want to be close enough that it is clear that you are dancing for HIM and that your attention is Focussed on him. And remember the lighting problem. TOO close spoils the 1st person view. Experiment with that until you have a good feel for how close is TOO close.
2. Creating Intimacy
You are trying to create an Intimacy between YOU and HIM. A shared moment of closeness that transcends the public setting and allows almost a Private shared communication even though every word is public. I have seen Eiloo dance for a man and him become SO wrapped up with and focused on her words that he totally ignored anything anyone else said to him until she finished dancing. She captured his attention and created what was for HIM, in effect, a totally private, personal and intimate conversation.
So the Approach serves to transition you from a dancer on the floor into an object the desrves his complete attention and focus. It serves to position you close to him and to give you time to begin creating the intimacy required to continue your routine with him. You're trying to get a discrete signal from him that he WANTS you to come dance for him and that in DOING so you are submitting to what HE wants.
I have seen SO many dancers simply walk over to a guy and begin dancing at the same time they start talking to him. I NEVER do that. I make them ASK me or TELL me before I will approach. During normal dancing, if someone sits too close to me while I'm dancing I move. I often make comments about Invading my Dance Space. Most of the guys KNOW I don't like anyone sitting or standing in my Dance Space. This makes my general dancing a little easier since the guys learn to leave me room. It ALSO makes it MORE meaningful when I DO choose to move close enough that they ARE in my Dance Space. It creates a sense of being invited INSIDE a personal space that no one else is allowed into and thus helps open the intimacy required for Erotic Dance.
3. Attention
This is a minor point but an important one that MANY dancers forget. Even when you are doing a dance for ONE man you want as MANY people as possible watching you. Your approach serves to differentiate you from just another dancer into one doing something..Different. I think I said before that I usually get MORE tips from the men Watching me dance FOR someone than I do from the target of the dance itself. The MORE men who watch you the stronger the response to your dance. Many men enjoy watching you dance FOR someone almost as much as having you dance for THEM. This is especially true of the men who tend to be shy and have trouble interacting with you if you try to dance for them. It also serves to gain you Publicity and to get your name better known. We ARE entertainers and the more people who come to Watch us Entertain as opposed to simply for healing the better. DON'T be afraid to tell peopl that you ARE an Erotic Dancer. I have men make trips from other planets specifically to have me dance for them. THAT is the greatest compliment a man can pay me in regards to my dancing.
Okay lets talk about the Images you're trying to create.
I will assume you are a woman and that you're dancing for a Man.
Forget the images you have of Romance. Forget loving relationships. Forget being a ..Good girl that he will respect in the morning. You're not trying to be a girlfriend or wife or partner. You're trying to be an Object of Desire!
Men DO differentiate between their Wives and Girlfriends and the Fantasy woman of their dreams. You're not trying to be the ideal Companion for him. You are trying to be the woman of his Fantasies and Dreams. In ONE sense it is demeaning. It means voluntarilly choosing to be little more than a Sex Object. Accept that! Men are NOT wired the way we are and CANNOT think as we do. ACCEPT it. Dislike it all you want. Condemn it. Complain about it with other women but....ACCEPT it for purposes of your dance. You're not dancing for another woman or a Boyfriend or husband. You're dancing for a MAN!
To SOME extent I think men DO view us as..Objects. I don't believe they CHOOSE to do so but do so as an automatic and involuntary response. I have my theories as to why but they're not really important. What matters is that they DO and you can use this fact in your dance.
The Image you are trying to create is one of the Willing woman who will fulfil his Every desire and fantasy. One who WANTS what HE wants. You are DANCING to entertain and Please him, not trying to build a relationship with him.
If you find that too distasteful thats fine but then perhaps Erotic Dancing is not for you.
Think of what you know of what men LIKE. Yes we think differently but we're not trying to please US. We're trying to please THEM. For the time of your dance you DO want what HE wants. And your dance signals that desire to him. Your words are to indicate to him that you DO share the same desire and want that he feels. Your approach SHOWS him your willingness to provide whatever he desires in whatever way he desires it.
Approaches:
I often use the Crawl during my approach, in an exotic leotard or a Wrap. Eiloo doesn't use the crawl since her style is more shy and reserved than mine. My style is Bold and Direct and ANYTHING but shy. But the Principle applies whatever your style. Your Approach is PART of your routine and not just movement.
I initiate a conversation with my target and ask him if he would like me to dance for him. I'll use personalizations such as 'You're the type of Man I LIKE to dance for.' to begin creating intimacy. I will ask him if he can see well enough. If I don't get a come hither signal of some kind I will ask directly 'Would you like me to come.. Closer?' In MOST case they will say yes. (If they don't then it I usually to switch my attention to another target. Laugh!) If they seem to be a strong person. i.e. not Shy and easily embarassed then I will often tell them something like 'OOO then why don't you TELL me to come closer?" trying to elicit a Command response from them like 'Come closer!' That opens up options for me to work with such as 'MMM I LIKE when a Man Tells me what to do!' or 'You're so STRONG. You're going to MAKE me dance closer to you aren't you?' If they are a strong personality you can then work with the images of submission and obedience. Shy men require a different approach. I generally tend to select and work with stronger men since it suits my style much better.
When they indicate they DO want me closer. I'll respond with something like 'MMMM I'd LIKE to dance closer to You.' Then I'll hit the Stopdance button Immediately followed by the Prone button. I'll tap the movement button varying my direction of movement from directly towards him or off at an angle until I'm perhaps 1/3 or 1/2 way to him. I take my time drawing out the approach as long as possible in most cases to give me time to guage his responses and to develop a game plan for how I will handle him.
Sometimes I'll stop, stand and begin dancing again. Some times if they are quick responders at the keyboard I'll just stop in prone and ask 'Is this... Close enough? or should I come...' (break and pause) 'Closer?'
In either case I eventually work my way to about 5 feet in front of them and I always approach from the side so that I am facing 90 degress away from them. That lets me control my positioning better. Then I stand and start FRANTICALLY beating the Startdance key until dance begins. Laugh!
They key HERE in this type of approach is your willingness to Lower yourself. To SUBMIT. To OBEY. The image of an erotically clad woman crawling across the floor towards a man is a Powerful image to which FEW men fail to respond. See the movie '9 1/2 Weeks' with a male friend to see the effect in action and the power it carries.
Another variant if you're already too close to a potential target to use the crawl is to stop, initiate a conversation and at some point stop and kneel facing them. Ask for their Explict Permission to dance for them. 'Please XXXX may I Dance for YOU?'
Let me reiterate a point. You are fulfilling HIS fantasy. NOT yours!
Whether you use the kneel, a simple walk or a crawl or a combination of them your approach serves two purposes.
1. Positioning
You want to be close enough that it is clear that you are dancing for HIM and that your attention is Focussed on him. And remember the lighting problem. TOO close spoils the 1st person view. Experiment with that until you have a good feel for how close is TOO close.
2. Creating Intimacy
You are trying to create an Intimacy between YOU and HIM. A shared moment of closeness that transcends the public setting and allows almost a Private shared communication even though every word is public. I have seen Eiloo dance for a man and him become SO wrapped up with and focused on her words that he totally ignored anything anyone else said to him until she finished dancing. She captured his attention and created what was for HIM, in effect, a totally private, personal and intimate conversation.
So the Approach serves to transition you from a dancer on the floor into an object the desrves his complete attention and focus. It serves to position you close to him and to give you time to begin creating the intimacy required to continue your routine with him. You're trying to get a discrete signal from him that he WANTS you to come dance for him and that in DOING so you are submitting to what HE wants.
I have seen SO many dancers simply walk over to a guy and begin dancing at the same time they start talking to him. I NEVER do that. I make them ASK me or TELL me before I will approach. During normal dancing, if someone sits too close to me while I'm dancing I move. I often make comments about Invading my Dance Space. Most of the guys KNOW I don't like anyone sitting or standing in my Dance Space. This makes my general dancing a little easier since the guys learn to leave me room. It ALSO makes it MORE meaningful when I DO choose to move close enough that they ARE in my Dance Space. It creates a sense of being invited INSIDE a personal space that no one else is allowed into and thus helps open the intimacy required for Erotic Dance.
3. Attention
This is a minor point but an important one that MANY dancers forget. Even when you are doing a dance for ONE man you want as MANY people as possible watching you. Your approach serves to differentiate you from just another dancer into one doing something..Different. I think I said before that I usually get MORE tips from the men Watching me dance FOR someone than I do from the target of the dance itself. The MORE men who watch you the stronger the response to your dance. Many men enjoy watching you dance FOR someone almost as much as having you dance for THEM. This is especially true of the men who tend to be shy and have trouble interacting with you if you try to dance for them. It also serves to gain you Publicity and to get your name better known. We ARE entertainers and the more people who come to Watch us Entertain as opposed to simply for healing the better. DON'T be afraid to tell peopl that you ARE an Erotic Dancer. I have men make trips from other planets specifically to have me dance for them. THAT is the greatest compliment a man can pay me in regards to my dancing.
Sinda
Tue Jul 29, 2003 7:31 am
#2
Excellent once again, FlawedDiamond!
This point bears repeating. Understand this: Men are predatory by nature; Men are visual more than emotional. And when you appear to "submit" or "obey" during your routine, know that you are really the one with the power in this equation. It was your words and actions that lured him into watching you and interacting with you, and it will be your words and actions that determine his response.
I like your point about your "Dance space", FD. Point to be made -- I tend to drift from cantina to cantina, having left my home in Mos Eisley about the time it was overrun with pre-teen twits pretending to be women. I'm investigating all the PA private cantina offers I get in hopes of finding a place to put down roots, but meanwhile it's very difficult for me to 'train' my audience since it is usually the first time they've seen me perform. I have to re-establish my personal rules every time I move.
That's the difference between staying put and moving around, but I manage. I can't wait to find a busy private cantina where I can stay and make a name for myself
Men DO differentiate between their Wives and Girlfriends and the Fantasy woman of their dreams. You're not trying to be the ideal Companion for him. You are trying to be the woman of his Fantasies and Dreams. In ONE sense it is demeaning. It means voluntarilly choosing to be little more than a Sex Object. Accept that! Men are NOT wired the way we are and CANNOT think as we do. ACCEPT it. Dislike it all you want. Condemn it. Complain about it with other women but....ACCEPT it for purposes of your dance. You're not dancing for another woman or a Boyfriend or husband. You're dancing for a MAN!
This point bears repeating. Understand this: Men are predatory by nature; Men are visual more than emotional. And when you appear to "submit" or "obey" during your routine, know that you are really the one with the power in this equation. It was your words and actions that lured him into watching you and interacting with you, and it will be your words and actions that determine his response.
I like your point about your "Dance space", FD. Point to be made -- I tend to drift from cantina to cantina, having left my home in Mos Eisley about the time it was overrun with pre-teen twits pretending to be women. I'm investigating all the PA private cantina offers I get in hopes of finding a place to put down roots, but meanwhile it's very difficult for me to 'train' my audience since it is usually the first time they've seen me perform. I have to re-establish my personal rules every time I move.
That's the difference between staying put and moving around, but I manage. I can't wait to find a busy private cantina where I can stay and make a name for myself
Lenaa
Tue Jul 29, 2003 8:42 am
#3
The only part I question is ...
"You are fulfilling HIS fantasy. NOT yours"
Can't I do both? *sniffs* 
Great advice, btw, for anyone who wants to try this sort of dancing.
I discovered something the other day totally by accident while dancing for someone. I changed to the wrong clothing part way through the dance, and what I put on was VERY alluring, it turns out.
I have a black "elegant dress" (I think it was called, I need to double check name). Its a full length gown, but very lacey, and, in the right light, extremely revealing.
Sometimes "erotic" doesn't mean "showing a ton of skin". In fact, some of the outfits I've seen people "erotic dance" in just scream "**edit**" to me.
Keep in mind you are building a whole image, in other words, and use all the tools at your disposal to stir the imagination of the man (or woman) you are dancing for.
FlawedDiamond
Tue Jul 29, 2003 8:43 am
#4
Yes that why I stick to to the Keren Cantina. Missing the higher Exp from busier places is one of the prices I pay. Thats hy Eiloo is a Master Dancer and I'm still working on Dance Knowledge 3. Laugh!
But the pay off is that i know my customers. I see them every day and have learned their likes and dislikes and they know ME well. They know that if I am online that I WILL make sure the Cantina is covered for healing purposes. Last nite I left the Cantina to run some errands knowing that there were several other dancers there. I was almost to where i was headed when one of the guys sent me a Tell letting me know that there wee seevral guys there and NO entertainers. I IMMEDIATELY turned around and headed back as fast as I could, ran onto the floor and started dancing. I apologized to them for leaving them without an entertainer and I stayed until there were some other dancers that I KNEE would stay around.
That has let me build a clientele that knows me and whom I know well. I rely on them for tips to make my living and THEY know they can rely on me for healing and for Entertainment.
But the pay off is that i know my customers. I see them every day and have learned their likes and dislikes and they know ME well. They know that if I am online that I WILL make sure the Cantina is covered for healing purposes. Last nite I left the Cantina to run some errands knowing that there were several other dancers there. I was almost to where i was headed when one of the guys sent me a Tell letting me know that there wee seevral guys there and NO entertainers. I IMMEDIATELY turned around and headed back as fast as I could, ran onto the floor and started dancing. I apologized to them for leaving them without an entertainer and I stayed until there were some other dancers that I KNEE would stay around.
That has let me build a clientele that knows me and whom I know well. I rely on them for tips to make my living and THEY know they can rely on me for healing and for Entertainment.
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