Dancer Archive

Not that kind of briefs, you wacko. Keep your mind on target.

Hot Off the Press
According to recent posts by Panthu, the entertainers are on track to get a complete revamp to their profession. When we sat down with her, she fanned herself furiously with her dance card and stated, "I just don't know. I'm so lost. What do I do now that they've listened and want to do a revamp on us? I'm so happy, I think I may quit!" Unfortunately, repeated threats of spanking did not elicit any different response for that last part of her statement, so we're beginning to wonder if spanking has the desired kind of effect here.

The revamp is rumored to be scheduled for after the Combat Upgrade and before the Civil War Upgrade. Current schedules (subject to change) peg that as somewhere between spring of 2005 and autumn of 2015. There are several other professions scheduled for a revamp which are naturally more important than entertainers are, so entertainers are expected to be at the tail end of this process. Many dancers, when queried, fully believed that the developers would once again alter things and push the revamp past the Civil War, but when faced with that accusation, the developers emphatically stated...nothing.

A campaign is currently underway to convince Panthu to stay in office until the revamp is complete. When elected into office, Panthu's number one platform was to achieve and see through a revamp, and the talk of her leaving office before seeing her promises through has constituents in an uproar.

Certain other camps, however, are preparing their candidates in the event of an early step down.

In other news, LeBob, better known as Sartinius, has taken on the mantle of Entertainer Correspondent in place of the much beloved Tiaga, who finally had enough. We were able to intercept Tiaga for a short candid interview, and when we asked why he stepped down, his only answer was, "All good things must end." When asked what he intended to do with all his new free time, he smiled and stated, "I'm going to Disney World!" It is our humble opinion that Tiaga has finally become unhinged or is on the sauce.

LeBob, on the other hand, was very forthcoming with details on his upcoming term of office. Looking a little weary from the extended campaign to win the hearts of the voters, he said, "I'm going to stay the course that Tiaga has set out. We're going to fight and we're going to get the changes that entertainers need. We must not let developer apathy decide our fate." When asked how he was going to implement this course of action, he did admit, "I have no idea, but we may have to get dirty and break a few kneecaps over there."


Weather
It's going to be a stormy winter around here. We're looking for further unstable air floating around, coupled with frigid temps and a lot of storminess before things clear up. Try to find warmth where you can.


Sports
The Bestine Broncos won the world series of "Dunk The Developer", narrowly defeating the Outer Rim Outies. Congratulations to a spectacular team that has truly shown us the meaning of "Developers Wet Behind the Ears".


Obituaries
Kandee Smith - This colorful Twilek was much beloved and a leader of True Entertainers on Bria. She will be missed and a candle will be erected in her honor in the memorial.


Events
Cantina Crawl. Tonight. Everyone who is anybody and not tied up in real life or getting laid is going to be there. You should too.



P.S. This entire article was BS. I didn't interview anyone. I made it all up, it's meant to be humor, so don't get all pissy!

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picklesSW wrote:

Unfortunately, repeated threats of spanking did not elicit any different response for that last part of her statement, so we're beginning to wonder if spanking has the desired kind of effect here.

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Panthu wrote:

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picklesSW wrote:

Unfortunately, repeated threats of spanking did not elicit any different response for that last part of her statement, so we're beginning to wonder if spanking has the desired kind of effect here.

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Mmm, spankings... wait! Is that not the right reaction? *boggle*

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only if he's not spanking enough

To be completely honest, I wanted to include NJ, but he's just not sensational for headlines. I mean, he's stable. He's calm ALL the time. He never flies off the handle. He never screams at the devs like Panthu does. He's been correspondent for like...6 years. He's quiet and does his job effectively and carefully without drama and without massive flamefests. BOOOORING!

We need headlines! We need sensationalism! We have to sell the news, not just print it, baby!

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picklesSW wrote:
To be completely honest, I wanted to include NJ, but he's just not sensational for headlines. I mean, he's stable. He's calm ALL the time. He never flies off the handle. He never screams at the devs like Panthu does. He's been correspondent for like...6 years. He's quiet and does his job effectively and carefully without drama and without massive flamefests. BOOOORING!

We need headlines! We need sensationalism! We have to sell the news, not just print it, baby!

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I'll have to scrape you up some dirt (Ricky keeps his flask in the left back pocket).

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Esharra wrote:

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picklesSW wrote:
To be completely honest, I wanted to include NJ, but he's just not sensational for headlines. I mean, he's stable. He's calm ALL the time. He never flies off the handle. He never screams at the devs like Panthu does. He's been correspondent for like...6 years. He's quiet and does his job effectively and carefully without drama and without massive flamefests. BOOOORING!

We need headlines! We need sensationalism! We have to sell the news, not just print it, baby!

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I'll have to scrape you up some dirt (Ricky keeps his flask in the left back pocket).

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I heard he liquored up the Quest Manager and then just stole the "Western" scroll when she passed out.

In the interest of good journalism, all reports on NJ must be corroborated by at least one other source.



It is ok if that source is your best friend or your alt.

Message Edited by picklesSW on 11-05-2004 11:15 AM

I hear that NewJedi is in fact not a jedi at all. On top of that I hear he is actually *waits for all conversation to stop* a musician.

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Reachwind wrote:
I hear that NewJedi is in fact not a jedi at all. On top of that I hear he is actually *waits for all conversation to stop* a musician.

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OH NOES!!!!