Creature Handler Archive

Killer-of-Kzins stepped off the shuttle into the reception area of Theed Starport, reptilian eyes blinking slowly as he found himself confronted by a pinch-faced representative of the Planetary Development Council. It spoke in the reedy, annoying voice that he found most of these 'devs' employed, and from past experience he knew that whatever it said, he probably wasn't going to like it.

"What are those?" the dev demanded, glaring past K-of-K's shoulder. The Trandoshan turned his head fractionally to glance back, seeing the patient, trusting expressions of his faithful hounds: Stalka, Render and Maw. Of course, they only looked patient and trusting to the Trandoshan ... he was aware that most strangers interpreted their expression as something closer to 'murderously hungry.'

"Kusaks," K-of-K grunted in the flat humanspeech. "They come from Lok ... sssurprised you never heard of them."

"I've heard of them!" the dev squeaked, tugging at his tight uniform jacket, a one-size-fits-all standard issue that all the devs seemed to wear these days, though K-of-K thought that they didn't actually seem to fit anyone. "There are three of them!"

"Hrrrrm ... yesss ... yes, there are indeed three, I must compliment you on your mathematical ssskills, Citizen," K-of-K responded. "Isss there a significance to thisss number?"

"Those animals are Class 40 hazardous lifeforms! You know the rules, and don't telll me you don't! You filthy animal handlers aren't allowed to bring more than a total of Class 70 onto the planet! You know that!" The dev crossed his arms and tapped one foot impatiently, every second of exposure to his mannerisms making the Trandoshan want to draw his blaster and begin random amputations.

"You are missstaken, Citizen," K-of-K said, instead of opening fire. "Stalka and Render are Class 23 lifeforms ... and Maw is a Class 22 ... perhaps if you consulted your ..."

"That was yesterday!" the dev screamed, little flecks of spittle flying from his lips. "Yesterday! Today they're Class 40's! You are in violation of the Development Council's edicts! I have a good mind to confiscate the whole lot of these stinking beasts!"

K-of-K's hand drifted instinctively down to his holster, but he knew that, puny and talentless as it was, the dev had the power to bring the full weight of the Planetary Authority down on him. He knew, from frustrating experience, that reasoning with their kind was nearly pointless, but he certainly had to try.

"Citizen, I have hunted with these three houndsss for over two yearsss without causing any trouble for the Council or Authority," K-of-K said as reasonably as he could, leashing his own temper. "What reason could the Council have for reclassifying them now? They hunt as a team .. one would be lossst without the othersss. Perhaps we could ..."

"Reason? REASON???" the dev's face turned reddish-purple in outrage. "We reclassified them! And we don't need to give you any 'REASON', you animal-peddling scum! That is the law now! If we choose to change it again tomorrow, then we will! You can either learn to like it or keep your stinking animals off this p-ULPP ...."

The dev's lecture was interrupted as K-of-K's hand closed firmly around his windpipe, his patience exhausted by the dev's irrational raving. "I can hear you, Citizen .... there is no need to shhhout. So you are sssaying that I can bring only one of my hounds onto the planet at a time? Is that what you're sssaying?" He tilted his head slightly, waiting for a response.

The captured dev nodded jerkily, hands flailing uselessly at K-of-K's armored forearm.

"And if I wish to bring more ... I cannot? I must either bring one or stay off the planet?" K-of-K asked, his voice kept calm though his eyes narrowed to thin slits.

Again the dev nodded, and before he passed out K-of-K released his grip and let him collapse to the ground. The three Kusaks' ears perked and they each took a step forward, growling softly. K-of-K looked down and saw Stalka's 'Can we eat it, Dad?' look, and tempted as he was, the Trandoshan gave a short hand-signal and all three Kusaks sank obediently, if reluctantly, onto their haunches to wait.

"You'll be banished by the Authority for this!" the dev rasped, a hand rubbing frantically at his bruised throat. "You'll never sell another animal on Naboo!"

"Yesss ... you're certainly right there, Citizen," K-of-K growled in disgust, turning to lead the hounds back to the shuttle departure area. "I'll never sssell another pet here ... and once my businesss affairs are wrapped up, I daresay I will never sssset foot on the planet again, so long as bureaucratic fools like you influence the Authority."

If the dev had more to say, K-of-K didn't hear it, as the shuttle door hissed closed behind him and he led Stalka, Render and Maw back to the lounge where Siko, the Bothan bartender, looked up in surprise.

"That was quick, K-of-K! Thought you were staying on the planet for a while ... leaving so soon?"

"Yessss," the Trandoshan said, his voice tinged with a shade of regret. "Leaving ... sssooner than I'd like .... but it ssseems I'm being given little choice."

"Well ... that's too bad," Siko said, pouring a tankard of his best brandy for K-of-K, knowing his tastes from the hundreds of shuttle flights they'd shared.

"Too bad ........ indeed," K-of-K grunted, taking his brandy, dropping into one of the soft chairs of the lounge, and absently scratching behind one of Stalka's ears as he began to plan the unpleasant task of moving his entire business. Where, he could not guess ... but obviously it had to be far, far from the influence of the Development Council.

Message Edited by KzinKiller on 05-06-2005 03:09 PM

/standing ovation

lol

They should post this story when the planets are loading

I am tired of reading about a missing Cal Handro

Very well written

Throws roses

aw hell

throws credits too.


Brilliant. Bravo Huzzah!!

Five Hundred Stars for you and your loyal companions.

I only hopethat some daysomeone with some sense will

replace the current powers-that-be so that our pets can

be reunited.

BEAUTIFULL!!!!!!!

and sad as well.

I had to take a smoke break after this one, way to go!!

Bravo Bravo. Now off to check my pets and see what levels they are now.

-Indene-

Bravo!

/standing ovation

/scooby snacks

This was drawn to my attention from a guildie who linked this excellent piece to our site. All the best to you - its always sad to see people leaving for the reasons you have outlined so tastefully, but asdancers say where I come from: "Always goout in style!!"Truly,this piece willleave stardust skids on the nightsky for some time Kudos to you, youra class act all the way **bows**

Thanks for all the generous & kind feedback!

I've thrown it up on a webpage for folks just in case it should mysteriously disappear here ....

http://www.tallguyz.com/yesterday.htm

(including a screenie of 'The Pack')

Message Edited by KzinKiller on 05-07-2005 09:04 AM

I'd 5 star that post, if I could. Very well written.

Sadly, reminds me of my cats... and how I can't hunt with both of them anymore.