Creature Handler Archive

My Wasteland CuPa doent Fidge... !!!

At least we get NO opposition from the Droid Commanders,

and their gun tooting Droids.......

I can't imagine why cu pas figeting is a priority for the meatlumps.

It absolutely amazes me that this was even brought up as an issue.

If the figeting were, for example, jerky and unnatural, in a Shields and Yarnell sort of way, there'd be an issue. But my wasteland cu pa's main problem (reported and ignored by the devs) is that he can't pass through archways that swamp humbabas can pass through. This of course aside from the lobotomy that every mount pet now receives when you put a saddle on him or her. Don't even ask me why. It's just stupid. Like so many things in this bug-riddled amalagam, it's just stupid, and is indicative of the sloppy, unprofessional work that permeates SWG.

No wonder Holo took the promotion that took him away from this thing.

OK, end of rant. Back to lighhearted, satirical protest over the absurdity of the SWG development process. Take it away SkyPreacher1, our roving correspondant.

And Thank you Sio for that insightful piece on the lobotomy of a mount.

Oh and here is another commercial from our friends at Incap Inc.

CH'S UNITE: We at Incap Inc. want you to know that we have come up with three brand new absolutely fabulous aromas to spray around your incapped body.

Poke-pet Spray by TH. This wonderful aroma will caress your unconcious head as you lay gazing at the sky. It will keep you from noticing that your pets are now 500 meters away and disappearing over the horizon. It has a light fragrance that is generally associated with the discharge of laser guns. This aroma is sure to enrich your Incap experience.

Runeaberry Rest: This delightful perfume is used by CH's the galaxy over whenever they have encountered anything bigger or more viscous than a squall. This is a secondary perfume that will cause you to forget your troubles especially to be used on those occasions when your pet autostores while you are fighting Enraged Rancors. And since this spray is so relaxing you will hardly notice that you are once again reviving in the Cloning center. It was going to be called Cloning Center Scent but we at Incap Inc. thought that might be a trifle to rude.

Lastly the Coup de Grace: JustG Juice. This wonderful elixir is a combination of aromas most commonly found in the barnyard. There is baffle of BS mixed with a hint of glorious ingnoramus, with just a hint of ode of arrogance. This juice will make all your play experience seem wonderful even when you know it just doesn't line up with what you expected.

All these wonderful perfumes are brought to you by Incap Inc. a subsiduary of SOE SWG.

And now back to the news.

NEWS FLASH

Sky; Mort, Mort you there Mort.

Mort: Yeah Sky what is it?

Sky: Mort it has been reported that a Dev stopped by our forum.

Mort: Yeah Sky, so what.

Sky: Isn't it exciting they noticed us.

Mort: Sky take a pill, the last time the fixed CH they nerfed the hell out of us. We don't want them to notice us anymore. We don't want them to fix our profession, cause when ever they fix us we become even more nerfed and broke.

Sky: Are you sure Mort.

Mort: Yes Sky, even our advertisers are selling a new pill. It's called the Transformation Pill.

Sky: Really!?

Mort: Yes it is the great Combat Rebalance Crap Pill and it will effectively turn every CH into either a clown or a TKM.

Sky: Balls! So that's what JustG's post was all about?

Mort: Yup! But look on the encouraging side Sky, you could be hologrinding your life away, you could have been an Architect.