Commando Archive

This is top secret information from the developers. In the next big patch the following features will be added.

• Auto Sh1t Talker - Since the commando has about a zero percent chance of ever winning in PvP the developers have enough insight to add an auto sh1t talker so when that master chef or master urban planner destroys you in a duel he or she won't have to waste his or her time sh1t talking about how bad you sukc.


• Free Trial of Paxil - Since the pursuit of master commando can lead to nothing but boredom and frustration and requires you to drop out of society to obtain it somewhat soon a free trial of Paxil will be shipped to all the novice commandos to quell the effects of depression.


• Random Popups - Random message boxes will pop up during gameplay with messages such as "j00 sux0r" and "i pwn j00" to remind you how bad you sukc at combat, just in case you forgot.


• Idiot of the Week - To further glorify how badly you sukc at SWG your ingame alias can become "Idiot of the Week" at any player city for all to bask in your sukciness.


• Accuracy - Seeing how much commandos like the concept of having no accuracy with their weapons a form of accuracy will be added to all aspect of gameplay for commandos. There is now a 40% chance when taking a shuttle that you will actually end up where you want to go. There is a 35% chance that your attack will damage a totally random target 3,000 meters away from you. There is a 20% chance that if your attack actually hits (haha) the target will turn into a Dark Jedi Master to ensure that you actually don't accumulate heavy weapons XP.


• /surrender and /suicide - Since it's obvious that in any form of PvP you are GOING to lose the developers have added a way to shorten the amount of time it takes to reach the inevitable. You get to choose how you go out.

Seriously, this profession is nothing short of horrendous. With Q-3PO's post it's obvious that nobody on the development team for SWG actually cares if the classes work or if you're having fun. As long as they're getting their $15/mo they're happy. This is only indicative of the support that is to come over the next few months. It's time to move on to different games.

I always knew those durnis were really dark jedi masters in disguise.

Rayyask

Bloodfin

Also, you know it's bad when 95% of the posts on this forum are complaining about how bad the commando is. Nobody responded to Q saying "I can hardly wait for the changes!" or something to that effect. The death threats are starting. To me, this says that something is seriously wrong but yet the profession works as intended.

What, you guys didnt know?

Crazed Durni are actually a mutated form of Dark Jedi Master that only show their true form when you dare attack them with a commando weapon (since they do "Heavy dmg" caught...caught... sorry was drinking water at the same time)

Kaeno, Gorath commando

Remember, what your eye see is not always what the reality realy is. (read the commando description and everything will be clear)

Rofl great post.