Commando Archive
Thread: A Message to all Commandos!
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StarNick
Fri Dec 24, 2004 9:51 pm
#1
Ah haha ahaha!!! Santa IS real!!! I just hijacked his sleigh, which conviently has weapons systems installed on it! Off to the SOE Headquarters!!!!
Enough of that though, according to the National Association of Scholars (NAS)...there are real hard Santa data out there! Did you know?:
Of the 2 billion children in the world, approximately 328 million would recieve gifts from Santa...assuming each child recieved a 2 lb lego set, Santa's sleigh would weigh over321,300 tons - not including the 300 lb Santa (which is assumed to be his peak weight...as he's described as being "full-figured"). A regular reindeer can pull about 300 pounds, assuming Santa's quantom flying reindeer can pull 10 times that amount...he wouldn't need a team of 8 - but a herd of 214,200 reindeer just to pull his sleigh. This extra weight would make the load over 353,430 tons....nearly 4 times that of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the English Queen). Pales in comparison to the fat guy doesn't it?
Of the 31 hours of Christmas (yes Santa gets it easy! 6-7 extra hours!), Santa will have to traverse over 75.5 million miles. To do this, and assuming each house has 3.5 children and .78 mile apart, Santa would vist 91.8 million households at about 822.6 households per second. The fat elf should stop delivering presents, and enter the Olympics! Likewise to achieve this...he would have to travel 3,000 times the speed of sound or 650 miles per second. A jump, and a skip ahead of the fastest man made object - 27.2 miles per second...
Now, like traveling at Mach 400 quintrillion...that generates a lot of heat right? RIGHT! The two lead reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintrillion joules of energy per second when the elf got his flock to top speed. Quite instantly they burst into flames. Santa would loose his entire flock - larger than MOST armies, in 4.26-thousandths of a second. In the meantime, deafening sonic booms would disorientate the older time as he experiences centrifrugal forces of 17,500 times that of gravity. Ultimately, he would get slammed into the back of the sleigh (and most likely right through it) by 4,315,015 pounds of force.
On second thought...maybe hijacking the elf's sleigh is NOT a good idea...heck, Ill let him go off and get his flying death trap back! Maybe the Easter Bunner can provide me with what I need to strike SOE's HQ come April....
Ohetie
BravenIrish
Fri Dec 24, 2004 10:27 pm
#3
Uhm...Are...are you saying...there might not really be a Santa.... 
??
??*sniff*
Slainte to Old St. Nick !
StarNick
Fri Dec 24, 2004 10:32 pm
#4
No what Im saying is that Santa either went High-tech a long time ago, or is just so magical - and in cahoots with NORAD - that he can do this.
It'll be eons until our technology reaches that of the Santa Tech!
Ternque01
Sat Dec 25, 2004 9:45 am
#6
AHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!!! I CAN'T WAIT until golbal warming melts the polar ice cap by 2100. Perhaps then Americans will start to do something of their energy/oil addiction.
A WHOLE country of people standing there in shock and awe when they have to explain to their kids that Santa moved to Antarctica because the North Pole MELTED!!! Christmas.... pwned.... 2100....
Hell, even the polar bear WILL be extinct when this happens. There goes those Coca Cola Polar Bear Christmas decorations (tm).
The Inuit, the group of Native Americans know as the Eskimos, WILL not have a place to live.
Every developed and industrialized country in the world is aggreing to the Kyoto protocol to cut greenhouse gases, except Australia and the United States (the world's biggest polluter).
Merry Christmas!!!!
Message Edited by Ternque01 on 12-25-2004 10:47 AM
StarNick
Sat Dec 25, 2004 10:44 am
#7
Aren't polar bears native to Antartica? And don't Eskimos also live outside the Polar regions of northern Canada/Alaska?
Thanks for getting a christmas-laugh thread off track....not to mention If I remember correctly, there were provisions in the Kyoto agreement that we felt would not be best to halt pollution woes. And for the biggest oil/energy in the world? Yeah, we also are the biggest exporter in the world (US, Japan, then Germany are the top 3...and I include technology in that)...as well a country with one of the highest standard of livings. Better yet, all the oil companies here and car companies (japan/german companies included) also are researching Fuel Cell Cars, which hopefully in 5-10 years will be on the road...and you know what? No more oil needed, and pollution from them? Water.
Message Edited by StarNick on 12-25-2004 12:45 PM
Ternque01
Sat Dec 25, 2004 11:10 am
#8
Polar bears live only on the Arctic circle, not Antarctica. http://www.ottumwacourier.com/site/news.cfm?newsid=13598036&BRD=2575&PAG=461&dept_id=513091&rfi=6
Eskimos do live in the northern regions of Canada, Alaska, and Siberia, but also the polar ice cap (which bridges all of these regions). The Inuit are now, cooincidentaly,making moves toward the US government that will codify greenhouse emissions as human rights abuse and are seeking to protect themselves through this structure.
I would like to see these provisions in the Kyoto protocol that are not not in our "best interests" to "halt pollution woes". I have also seen the current U.S. administration butcher logging laws, throw away emissions regulations for factories and companies, and try desperately topump oilout ofthe wildlife preserve in Alaska. It is the same administration that rejected the Kyoto protocol in 2001. This same administration just cut the fiscal year 2005 budget spending on environmental projects by $1.9 billion comparred to 2004.
What does our exporting capacity have to do with cutting greenhouse gasses? Have you ever been to a foreign country where automobiles are NOT the norm?
Fuel-cell cars, which use oxygen and hydrogen gas, are still questionable. Transporting large quantities of hydrogen gas safely is a problem. Some solutions include liquifying it by interaction with a chemical. This process is reversible so you can reconstitute the gas. I'm not saying that coming up with alternate fuel sources is easy at all, but we need to curb dangerous emissions.
As far as ruining your thread, that was not the intention. I thought it would add to the hilarity, as well as the reality, that there will be no North Pole in a hundred or so years. That's pretty funny to me, sorry your sense of humor got buried under so much snow, a weather phenomenon soon to also be extinct.
Message Edited by Ternque01 on 12-25-2004 12:21 PM
Ternque01
Sat Dec 25, 2004 11:51 am
#9
Here ya go bro, your thread needs a good kick back into it's original direction:
Of the 2 billion children in the world, approximately 328 million would recieve gifts from Santa...assuming each child recieved a 2 lb lego set, Santa's sleigh would weigh over321,300 tons - not including the 300 lb Santa (which is assumed to be his peak weight...as he's described as being "full-figured"). A regular reindeer can pull about 300 pounds, assuming Santa's quantom flying reindeer can pull 10 times that amount...he wouldn't need a team of 8 - but a herd of 214,200 reindeer just to pull his sleigh. This extra weight would make the load over 353,430 tons....nearly 4 times that of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the English Queen). Pales in comparison to the fat guy doesn't it?
Of the 31 hours of Christmas (yes Santa gets it easy! 6-7 extra hours!), Santa will have to traverse over 75.5 million miles. To do this, and assuming each house has 3.5 children and .78 mile apart, Santa would vist 91.8 million households at about 822.6 households per second. The fat elf should stop delivering presents, and enter the Olympics! Likewise to achieve this...he would have to travel 3,000 times the speed of sound or 650 miles per second. A jump, and a skip ahead of the fastest man made object - 27.2 miles per second...
Now, like traveling at Mach 400 quintrillion...that generates a lot of heat right? RIGHT! The two lead reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintrillion joules of energy per second when the elf got his flock to top speed. Quite instantly they burst into flames. Santa would loose his entire flock - larger than MOST armies, in 4.26-thousandths of a second. In the meantime, deafening sonic booms would disorientate the older time as he experiences centrifrugal forces of 17,500 times that of gravity. Ultimately, he would get slammed into the back of the sleigh (and most likely right through it) by 4,315,015 pounds of force.
Santa's sleigh, cooincidentally, would generate enough energy through frictionto overcome the activation energy needed to break chloroflourocarbons into their constituent elements. Santa is now flying at altitudes of 5-30 miles (10-50 kilometers) in the stratosphere where the ozone layer exists. Not only would this help reverse global warming, but save the 155,000 Inuit, mutliple species from extinction, and provide Santa a place to land when he finishes his trip. Nothing is mucky as landing into the Arctic Ocean, now is it?
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