Brawler Archive

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Bungie pplwrote:

GET AN EXCUSE

You are going to need an excuse for taking a day off work or school. We do NOT advocate lying, unless you feel like it. And we do NOT advocate staying away from work for something as spurious as playing a video game, but let's face it, it is a well-known fact that over 30% of the population will be killed or injured by a falling grand piano, so it's wise to enjoy life before that, or an errant anvil crushes your dreams (and skull). It would be RIDICULOUS to work your fingers to the bone all your life, only to have Halo 2 cruelly snatched away from you by fate, simply because you were scared to play hooky. So here's a list of good excuses we've all used in the past.

1. Somebody died: It's mean-spirited and tempts fate, but NOBODY will question it. Make sure the person you choose hasn't died once already, or works at the local Starbucks.

2. You have a genital illness: Again, who's going to ask questions? Nobody is going to ask if it hurts, is flaking or leaking. They're going to shudder and wish you well.

3. Sugar in the gas tank: Claim some local punks put sugar in your gas tank because they hate freedom, or because you saved a kitten from their tattoo factory.

4. Parsons sent me to Iraq: Chances are that Parsons WILL send you somewhere crappy to do something awful, so this one has an air of legitimacy.

5. I'm having a meeting with YOUR boss: Say this to your supervisor at work and he or she will immediately become too paranoid to protest, or even question you.

6. Woman's Troubles: Obviously this is gender specific but if you're a lady and your boss or teacher is a dude, he won't even want to know what's up. You don't even have to specify. For all he knows, your "Woman's Troubles" could be like, acne.

7. Seafood: Don't volunteer the ingredient, but call in with diarrhea and when your boss inevitably asks what you ate last night, say "Clam kebabs and pickled shrimp eggs at an Afghani buffet."

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