Smuggler Archive
Thread: A chuckle for the smuggler
BaronJuJu
Thu Jan 27, 2005 6:09 am
#1522
This one I was just plain dumbfounded me:
While running in Mos Eisley...
Him: Hey Balakor!
Me: yes?
Him: What does a Smuggler actually smuggle? (Oh boy here we go...)
Me: Technically nothing
Him:Then why do you do that profession?
Me: (lengthy explanation on the communtiy, the smuggler as a whole and what it means to me)
Him: so what else do you do? (Now bear in mind, this is a taggedMaster TKM asking me this)
Me: Slice weapons and armor, make spices and sell faction mostly
Him: What does slice mean? (you have to be kidding me......)
Me: It is a permanent enhancement to the weapon or armor
Him: Oh could you slice my weapon for me?
Me: Sure...its gonna be 8k
Him: $%^&? are you crazy? 8k for a slice...I never pay more than 3K
Me: I thought you didn't know what a slice was?
Him: (totally ignoring me) Its just a piece of brass on my hand
Him: (totally ignoring me) Its just a piece of brass on my hand
Me: Look how much do you pay for a doc buff?
Him: Never more than 5k
Me: (Lengthy reasoning of the "Why ar you arguing if you pay x amount for a temporary buff vice x for a permanent enhancement to your stuff argument all of us smugglers have had one time or another"
Him: Well do you sell any VK's?
Me: YeahI just put 3 of them on the bazaar for 3500 each
(Nearly shot myself for saying the price to him...deal is gone i thought)
(Nearly shot myself for saying the price to him...deal is gone i thought)
Him: What is the bazaar?
Me: (popping a few tylenol) it is the community boards to sell items (even show him where it is)
Him: OK, can you slice my VK then?
Me: (totally baffled at this point) Sure (by God I am getting this guys 8k and upping my prices right after him)
**Puts VK in the trade window**
Him: How much is it going to cost?
Me: (Laughing my rear of by this point) 8K!
Him: 8k? I have 20+ million...I sh*t 8k for breakfast
Me: Then why the hell have you been arguing with me for the last 15 minutes?
**I examine the VK....its sliced.....figures****
**end transaction**
Me: Its already sliced (tell him how you can tell by examining it)
Him: Ok
Me: Anything else I can slice for you
Him: No I am a Master TKM (In case I didn't notice the tag) and I don't make that much money
Me: Oh ok....Well then good day! **Turns and bursts runs out of there**
I swear I drank a crate of Utozz after that
JTGAlpha
Thu Jan 27, 2005 8:10 am
#1523
LOL MY GOD! Was that dude Cybil? Was he SPD? Schizo? What? Damn!
DrevenStrobe
Thu Jan 27, 2005 8:45 am
#1524
BaronJuJu wrote:
This one I was just plain dumbfounded me:
While running in Mos Eisley...
Him: Hey Balakor!
Me: yes?
Him: What does a Smuggler actually smuggle? (Oh boy here we go...)
Me: Technically nothing
Him:Then why do you do that profession?
Me: (lengthy explanation on the communtiy, the smuggler as a whole and what it means to me)
Him: so what else do you do? (Now bear in mind, this is a taggedMaster TKM asking me this)
Me: Slice weapons and armor, make spices and sell faction mostly
Him: What does slice mean? (you have to be kidding me......)
Me: It is a permanent enhancement to the weapon or armor
Him: Oh could you slice my weapon for me?
Me: Sure...its gonna be 8k
Him: $%^&? are you crazy? 8k for a slice...I never pay more than 3K
Me: I thought you didn't know what a slice was?
Him: (totally ignoring me) Its just a piece of brass on my hand
Me: Look how much do you pay for a doc buff?
Him: Never more than 5k
Me: (Lengthy reasoning of the "Why ar you arguing if you pay x amount for a temporary buff vice x for a permanent enhancement to your stuff argument all of us smugglers have had one time or another"
Him: Well do you sell any VK's?
Me: YeahI just put 3 of them on the bazaar for 3500 each
(Nearly shot myself for saying the price to him...deal is gone i thought)
Him: What is the bazaar?
Me: (popping a few tylenol) it is the community boards to sell items (even show him where it is)
Him: OK, can you slice my VK then?
Me: (totally baffled at this point) Sure (by God I am getting this guys 8k and upping my prices right after him)
**Puts VK in the trade window**
Him: How much is it going to cost?
Me: (Laughing my rear of by this point) 8K!
Him: 8k? I have 20+ million...I sh*t 8k for breakfast
Me: Then why the hell have you been arguing with me for the last 15 minutes?
**I examine the VK....its sliced.....figures****
**end transaction**
Me: Its already sliced (tell him how you can tell by examining it)
Him: Ok
Me: Anything else I can slice for you
Him: No I am a Master TKM (In case I didn't notice the tag) and I don't make that much money
Me: Oh ok....Well then good day! **Turns and bursts runs out of there**
I swear I drank a crate of Utozz after that
*stares blankly at the screen*...*shakes head*...
Jaguarrr
Thu Jan 27, 2005 8:51 am
#1525
JTGAlpha wrote:
LOL MY GOD! Was that dude Cybil? Was he SPD? Schizo? What? Damn!
Maybe just stupid? I could imagine a sitcom with this guy... "Just Stupid" today the episode "The Wall in the Mall"
*bonk* my brain still has to recover from the "Hello Kitty! MMO"
Kyllan
Thu Jan 27, 2005 4:32 pm
#1526
BaronJuJu wrote:This one I was just plain dumbfounded me:While running in Mos Eisley...Him: Hey Balakor!Me: yes?Him: What does a Smuggler actually smuggle? (Oh boy here we go...)Me: Technically nothingHim:Then why do you do that profession?Me: (lengthy explanation on the communtiy, the smuggler as a whole and what it means to me)Him: so what else do you do? (Now bear in mind, this is a tagged Master TKM asking me this)Me: Slice weapons and armor, make spices and sell faction mostlyHim: What does slice mean? (you have to be kidding me......)Me: It is a permanent enhancement to the weapon or armorHim: Oh could you slice my weapon for me?Me: Sure...its gonna be 8kHim: $%^&? are you crazy? 8k for a slice...I never pay more than 3KMe: I thought you didn't know what a slice was?
Him: (totally ignoring me) Its just a piece of brass on my handMe: Look how much do you pay for a doc buff?Him: Never more than 5kMe: (Lengthy reasoning of the "Why ar you arguing if you pay x amount for a temporary buff vice x for a permanent enhancement to your stuff argument all of us smugglers have had one time or another"Him: Well do you sell any VK's?Me: Yeah I just put 3 of them on the bazaar for 3500 each
(Nearly shot myself for saying the price to him...deal is gone i thought)Him: What is the bazaar?Me: (popping a few tylenol) it is the community boards to sell items (even show him where it is)Him: OK, can you slice my VK then?Me: (totally baffled at this point) Sure (by God I am getting this guys 8k and upping my prices right after him)**Puts VK in the trade window**Him: How much is it going to cost?Me: (Laughing my rear of by this point) 8K!Him: 8k? I have 20+ million...I sh*t 8k for breakfastMe: Then why the hell have you been arguing with me for the last 15 minutes?**I examine the VK....its sliced.....figures******end transaction**Me: Its already sliced (tell him how you can tell by examining it)Him: OkMe: Anything else I can slice for youHim: No I am a Master TKM (In case I didn't notice the tag) and I don't make that much moneyMe: Oh ok....Well then good day! **Turns and bursts runs out of there**I swear I drank a crate of Utozz after that
Now that was feaking hilarious. Wish I had my own funny story for this thread. Maybe when I'm done getting maste pilot I'll go back to slice-whoring just for that alone. God, I love this thread.
Message Edited by Kyllan on 01-27-2005 05:33 PM
Message Edited by Kyllan on 01-29-2005 09:35 AM
Dark_Jedi88
Sat Jan 29, 2005 12:22 am
#1527
BaronJuJu wrote:This one I was just plain dumbfounded me:While running in Mos Eisley...Him: Hey Balakor!Me: yes?Him: What does a Smuggler actually smuggle? (Oh boy here we go...)Me: Technically nothingHim:Then why do you do that profession?Me: (lengthy explanation on the communtiy, the smuggler as a whole and what it means to me)Him: so what else do you do? (Now bear in mind, this is a tagged Master TKM asking me this)Me: Slice weapons and armor, make spices and sell faction mostlyHim: What does slice mean? (you have to be kidding me......)Me: It is a permanent enhancement to the weapon or armorHim: Oh could you slice my weapon for me?Me: Sure...its gonna be 8kHim: $%^&? are you crazy? 8k for a slice...I never pay more than 3KMe: I thought you didn't know what a slice was?
Him: (totally ignoring me) Its just a piece of brass on my handMe: Look how much do you pay for a doc buff?Him: Never more than 5kMe: (Lengthy reasoning of the "Why ar you arguing if you pay x amount for a temporary buff vice x for a permanent enhancement to your stuff argument all of us smugglers have had one time or another"Him: Well do you sell any VK's?Me: Yeah I just put 3 of them on the bazaar for 3500 each
(Nearly shot myself for saying the price to him...deal is gone i thought)Him: What is the bazaar?Me: (popping a few tylenol) it is the community boards to sell items (even show him where it is)Him: OK, can you slice my VK then?Me: (totally baffled at this point) Sure (by God I am getting this guys 8k and upping my prices right after him)**Puts VK in the trade window**Him: How much is it going to cost?Me: (Laughing my rear of by this point) 8K!Him: 8k? I have 20+ million...I sh*t 8k for breakfastMe: Then why the hell have you been arguing with me for the last 15 minutes?**I examine the VK....its sliced.....figures******end transaction**Me: Its already sliced (tell him how you can tell by examining it)Him: OkMe: Anything else I can slice for youHim: No I am a Master TKM (In case I didn't notice the tag) and I don't make that much moneyMe: Oh ok....Well then good day! **Turns and bursts runs out of there**I swear I drank a crate of Utozz after that
Jedi_Jet
Sat Jan 29, 2005 1:46 am
#1528
When I left in Nov for a little break there were only 51 pages on this thread.... I just finished the recent editions, and I gotta tell ya. People just don't get any smarter eh?
Teh n00blet's of Sunrunner are going to be fun for my slicing grind I can tell.
werd up Joras, yeah I am stilla Smuggler.
Alpha_Bits
Mon Jan 31, 2005 12:24 pm
#1529
I was running around on Lok the other night, hunting rebel scum with a couple of guildmates, including my brother (wookiee marksman/bh/commando/etc..) when I get a /tell from one of my former guildmates (left the guild when most of the other guys/losers started playing World of Warcraft...)
Buddy: /tell Hey, man... do you have Slicing 4?
Me: /tell sure do. do you need training or slicing?
Me: /tell sure do. do you need training or slicing?
pause. I'm waiting for my brother to show up in Talon Morte and my other guildie is AFK
Buddy: /tell I got some armor I need sliced. Do you have any AUKs? I have some you can have.
Me: /tell I have plenty of AUKs, knives and clamps, buddy. I'm killing rebels on Lok, if you come to Talon Morte for me to slice them, I'll only charge you 2K per piece.
long pause. I send my brother a few harassing tells about him being slow... as he waits for the shuttle from Nym's Stronghold. He's on a 56K line so he's used to slowness. Meanwhile, I get my AUKs out of my bandolier, leaving 8 open spaces in my inventory for his stuff.
Me: /tell I have plenty of AUKs, knives and clamps, buddy. I'm killing rebels on Lok, if you come to Talon Morte for me to slice them, I'll only charge you 2K per piece.
long pause. I send my brother a few harassing tells about him being slow... as he waits for the shuttle from Nym's Stronghold. He's on a 56K line so he's used to slowness. Meanwhile, I get my AUKs out of my bandolier, leaving 8 open spaces in my inventory for his stuff.
Buddy: /tell I'll meet you there, where are you?
I tell him where I am and keep waiting. Meanwhile my other guildie went off to do some killing. My brother shows up and 'Buddy' shows up about half a second later. Bro and buddy exchange pleasantries and I switch to spatial talk so Bro can see what's going on.
Buddy: /trade a bunch of wookiee armor
Me: Ooo, nice wookiee armor! /accept... 'not enough inventory space'
Buddy: LOL! Clear your inventory, man!
Me: Dude, how many pieces do you have?
Buddy: 9...
Me: /trade
Me: Ooo, nice wookiee armor! /accept... 'not enough inventory space'
Buddy: LOL! Clear your inventory, man!
Me: Dude, how many pieces do you have?
Buddy: 9...
Me: /trade
I called out the slices in spatial... got a 45% enc on an armband of some sort (didn't take the time to examine everything)
Buddy: Wow! /cheer I didn't know you could even get 45%!
Buddy: Hey, Ral (my bro), did you ever get your armor sliced? (buddy had hooked my bro up with the armor)
Me: 32% eff
Bro: What? It wasn't sliced already?
Buddy: LOL!!! /rofl
Me: 42% enc... nice (I count the armor and only see eight pieces... don't see anything else new in my inv)
Me: Dude, are you sure you only had eight items? I only see eight armor pieces from you, man...
Buddy: And an AUK.
Me: OH, thanks, man...
Bro: SONOFABICH!!!
Me: 23% eff
Bro: I guess I should get this stuff sliced...
Buddy: Hey, Ral (my bro), did you ever get your armor sliced? (buddy had hooked my bro up with the armor)
Me: 32% eff
Bro: What? It wasn't sliced already?
Buddy: LOL!!! /rofl
Me: 42% enc... nice (I count the armor and only see eight pieces... don't see anything else new in my inv)
Me: Dude, are you sure you only had eight items? I only see eight armor pieces from you, man...
Buddy: And an AUK.
Me: OH, thanks, man...
Bro: SONOFABICH!!!
Me: 23% eff
Bro: I guess I should get this stuff sliced...
Got everything sliced for Buddy, traded back, he tipped me 50K for the lot (I was charging 1K per slice originally, but from reading forums, I've raised up to 3K/slice... still not much, I know... but I feel greedy )
After he logged off, my bro called me and we chatted for a while... planning to play again Friday night and he sheepishly commented that maybe he'd have me slice his armor then...
On a slightly related note, my Guildie earlier had scared up a random band of pirates right next to the 'rebel base' we were taking out and had to retreat. A couple of minutes later I had taken everything out (I'm getting close to mastering pistoleer) and he says "Geez, don't just ownzer everything or anything.." That felt pretty good.
Jedi_Jet
Mon Jan 31, 2005 4:16 pm
#1530
um aint the story supposed to be funny man? where's your hook? ya know the joke... the funny part? is there one? or is this a tale of nothing leading to nothing coming from nothing?
Alpha_Bits
Mon Jan 31, 2005 10:30 pm
#1531
Well... it's 'a chuckle for the smuggler'... and I chuckled when the events were taking place... and I'm a smuggler... so I thought I'd post it.
If I have to explain further... well... you won't laugh anyway, so... there's no point.
So the other night, two stormtroopers walked into a bar...
...the third one ducked.
If I have to explain further... well... you won't laugh anyway, so... there's no point.
So the other night, two stormtroopers walked into a bar...
...the third one ducked.
nerfherder321
Mon Jan 31, 2005 11:04 pm
#1532
hows about this... i had a customer...who was a n00b
he didnt understnad that for me to slice his armor he had to take it off
it was very interesting for me to explain it to him..
Me: please.. can you take your armor off
him: what?
me: take the chestplate...oh good... now...take the helmet off
*pause*
me: take...take of the helmet
*pause*
me: take..off..the helmet
him: should i take off my...pants too?
me: (noticing his helmet wasnt off) uhh...no... you know what..just trade
him: heh...ok....
i would feel so bad if he wasnt..my friend
Kyllan
Tue Feb 01, 2005 8:48 am
#1533
nerfherder321 wrote:hows about this... i had a customer...who was a n00bhe didnt understnad that for me to slice his armor he had to take it offit was very interesting for me to explain it to him..Me: please.. can you take your armor offhim: what?me: take the chestplate...oh good... now...take the helmet off*pause*me: take...take of the helmet*pause*me: take..off..the helmethim: should i take off my...pants too?me: (noticing his helmet wasnt off) uhh...no... you know what..just tradehim: heh...ok....i would feel so bad if he wasnt..my friend
Heh, we've all been there. I was so confused the first few times I played this game.
JTGAlpha
Wed Feb 02, 2005 3:54 pm
#1534
Geeklord....you mean this guy had the temerity to be ANGRY at his FREE buff??? And then DEMANDED remuneration for something that was FREE? What in the name of God's pajamas is wrong with people? I would have unleashed a barage of fury on him that would have degradated his puny soul into non-existance.