Smuggler Archive
Thread: A chuckle for the smuggler
Isakotl
Sat Dec 18, 2004 8:29 pm
#1445
So my buddies and I have decided to head to the Geo caves for a little acklay killing fun. Oneis already at the cave, me andone other friendare traveling.When i'm about halfway to the cave the friend who is also travelling asks the first if he still has the key. Naturally, I respond "Who needs keys?". We all get a laugh out of that. The friend I'm travelling with realizes he's the only one that has to get the keys.
Part 2 to this story. I'm runing through the cave and just asI pass through a newly sliced door another group of cave raiders asks me, "hey what's the code". Now I answer the only wayI know how, honestly. "I have no idea." My friend who is waiting patiently at the bottom of the cave starts rofl.
Niru
Mon Dec 20, 2004 6:03 am
#1446
I'm sure this has hapend to someone before, but I couldn't resist sharing.
I have a tent set up witha vendor selling smuggling supplies. I had just picked up some crates of clamps to put on the vendor when I notice some Storm Troopers hanging arround. I hit the use vendor option to start putting the clamps up for sale when I get the "you are being scaned" message. The trooper is in the tent with me, I am activly putting illegal items on to my vendor, and I get away with it. "This one is clean, move along".
I am a master smuggler, but come on. The troopers can't be THAT stupid.
Niru - Master Smuggler, Intrepid
Anjae
Mon Dec 20, 2004 8:34 am
#1447
Niru wrote:
I'm sure this has hapend to someone before, but I couldn't resist sharing.
I have a tent set up witha vendor selling smuggling supplies. I had just picked up some crates of clamps to put on the vendor when I notice some Storm Troopers hanging arround. I hit the use vendor option to start putting the clamps up for sale when I get the "you are being scaned" message. The trooper is in the tent with me, I am activly putting illegal items on to my vendor, and I get away with it. "This one is clean, move along".
I am a master smuggler, but come on. The troopers can't be THAT stupid.
Niru - Master Smuggler, Intrepid
Actually, It has been proven that they are(npc wise)....
This was a while back, but when I was working on BH, I was using feign death as part of my "gopher macro"...
(pop up - DOT pistol - feign - repeat)...
I was busy watching my mark... and not the npc's behind me. In the midst of feigning...I get a familiar speech out from ofnowhere...
Please stand still while you are scanned for contraban ...bla bla bla....Was found to be "clean", but somehow they completely ignored the fact that they just scanned a dead body (at least in appearance), gave a standardized speech to a dead body, and completely failed toempty outthe bags, pockets and wallet of the dead body 
I admire the diligence, but am a bit concerned with thetraining these "Crackdown Squads" have recieved 
-anj {J}
Message Edited by Anjae on 12-20-2004 07:35 AM
Dark_Jedi88
Mon Dec 20, 2004 4:26 pm
#1448
Anjae wrote:
Niru wrote:I'm sure this has hapend to someone before, but I couldn't resist sharing.I have a tent set up with a vendor selling smuggling supplies. I had just picked up some crates of clamps to put on the vendor when I notice some Storm Troopers hanging arround. I hit the use vendor option to start putting the clamps up for sale when I get the "you are being scaned" message. The trooper is in the tent with me, I am activly putting illegal items on to my vendor, and I get away with it. "This one is clean, move along".I am a master smuggler, but come on. The troopers can't be THAT stupid.Niru - Master Smuggler, IntrepidActually, It has been proven that they are(npc wise)....This was a while back, but when I was working on BH, I was using feign death as part of my "gopher macro"...(pop up - DOT pistol - feign - repeat)...I was busy watching my mark... and not the npc's behind me. In the midst of feigning... I get a familiar speech out from of nowhere...Was found to be "clean", but somehow they completely ignored the fact that they just scanned a dead body (at least in appearance), gave a standardized speech to a dead body, and completely failed to empty out the bags, pockets and wallet of the dead bodyI admire the diligence, but am a bit concerned with the training these "Crackdown Squads" have recieved-anj {J}Message Edited by Anjae on 12-20-2004 07:35 AM
Ha! That's funny!
gomi321
Wed Dec 22, 2004 12:32 pm
#1449
I was selling faction points at the Imp Outpost on Dant. Just as I finished I saw in the air coming at me a poison. I quickly hit FD and fell on my back.
Two rebs walk up to me and just start hammering away at me and taunting me. Since I never wear armor I wasn't worried about decay and I'm a TKM so I had my wounds covered. I listen to the taunts a for awhile as they hit me with every DOT possible and I decided to call in some help.
Luckily a few of my guildmates were nearby and they shuttled in and incapped the two rebs. I quickly used force of will, stood up and walked over to them. "You messed with the wrong Dirty Smuggler" is all they heard before they went for a fast trip to the cloners.
Another time I was overt in the cnet cantina. Not the best place for an overt Imperial. I saw red and quickly hit my FD macro. My attacker tells me that he is going to give me wounds and max out my BF cause he hates "feigners". I laugh and explain thatI'm still watching the entertainers and my BF is staying at 0 and that I don't worry about wounds as I switch my title to TKM. This really drove this rebel insane. He started bad mouthing Smugglers in general so I sent out another call. Few minutes later I watched as this rebel was sent to the cloners.
I'm not known as the Dirty Smuggler for nothing.
Eulbobo
Thu Dec 23, 2004 3:40 am
#1450
When customers think they know everything....
Someone asked me some ST armor parts.... so i send him the prices i was doing for the parts he needs.
I made a mistake in the ST leggings, making them 80k lower that i usually sell...
The whole bag was still worth 2.4 M...
I call a friend for the buy.... buy the pieces.... tell him his bag is ready... and tell him that i made a mistake on the legging price...
He asks me how much FP costs leggings, so i told him normal faction point cost....
Immediatly told me he was cancelling everything.... oO
He said i was overpriced, that buying stuffs for more than 100 credits/FP was a nasty trap to get more credits, that his friends could give him Faction points for 73 credits/FP...
I told him they sell under the buy cost unless they are rebel because of Cry Of Alderaan bonus....
He asks me how much FP the leggings cost again, and give me a URL to see the prices he had.... They were before the CoA bonus. I gave him a new URL where prices were up to date.
He seemed confused, and told me he would buy the whole for 91 credits/FP.... which i immediatly answered that i was a smuggler, no a mecene
I explain him everything about it..... delegation, prices for imperials, prices and CoA effect for rebels, etc....
And then he realized that his "rebel smuggler friend" has always sold him faction points at the high cost ^^ and that he almost "gave him" 10 million credits
I told him that his friend was a smuggler before to be a friend
Then told me he was afk for a while, he had a "friend" to see.... Hope his "friend" love bacta
Good point : he will buy everything for the price we agreed for
Point to remember : always explains everything will always be good for you
------------------------------------
Dathomir outpost.... get a tell
Girl - Hi, can you slice me a 700k credits Krayt Scatter pistol for damage slice?
*woo woo woo.... looks like a big fish*
Me - I can't choose the sliced stats and i don't care how much you spend on you scatter
Girl - Yes, i know, but i told you what i wanted
*slicing gods, i hope you didn't listened.... o, i'm stupid.... they listen everything.... Ok, you'll got a crappy speed slice girl*
Me - as you want, i'm at science outpost
Girl - OMW
*few minuts later*
Girl - there i am
/target Girl.... nothing.... /target Gir... nothing... /Target Gi... nothing... /target G... targets Guivers startgdtrat (a commoner)
Me - Are you sure you are at science outpost?
Girl - Sh*t !
*a few seconds later*
Girl - there i am
/target Girl, targets Girl, going in front of her
Me - ok, let's make the deal, i charge, blablabla
*trade*
*gave me a crappy scatter pistol with 390/400 condition and already sliced*
Me - this scatter is already sliced.... You really payed it 700k?
Girl - yea... strange..... can you slice my carabin then?
Me - okip, no problem
*trade again, put a carabin in trade window*
*look at carabine*
Me - errr, it's at 55% condition, you should repair it BEFORE i slice it...
Girl - okip, i got a reapair kit on me
Me - repair it yourself (i'm the breaking boy when i repair stuff)
*trade, trade again, carabine back at good condition*
*slice... 20% speed*
Me - slicing gods...
Someone asked me some ST armor parts.... so i send him the prices i was doing for the parts he needs.
I made a mistake in the ST leggings, making them 80k lower that i usually sell...
The whole bag was still worth 2.4 M...
I call a friend for the buy.... buy the pieces.... tell him his bag is ready... and tell him that i made a mistake on the legging price...
He asks me how much FP costs leggings, so i told him normal faction point cost....
Immediatly told me he was cancelling everything.... oO
He said i was overpriced, that buying stuffs for more than 100 credits/FP was a nasty trap to get more credits, that his friends could give him Faction points for 73 credits/FP...
I told him they sell under the buy cost unless they are rebel because of Cry Of Alderaan bonus....
He asks me how much FP the leggings cost again, and give me a URL to see the prices he had.... They were before the CoA bonus. I gave him a new URL where prices were up to date.
He seemed confused, and told me he would buy the whole for 91 credits/FP.... which i immediatly answered that i was a smuggler, no a mecene
I explain him everything about it..... delegation, prices for imperials, prices and CoA effect for rebels, etc....
And then he realized that his "rebel smuggler friend" has always sold him faction points at the high cost ^^ and that he almost "gave him" 10 million credits
I told him that his friend was a smuggler before to be a friend
Then told me he was afk for a while, he had a "friend" to see.... Hope his "friend" love bacta
Good point : he will buy everything for the price we agreed for
Point to remember : always explains everything will always be good for you
------------------------------------
Dathomir outpost.... get a tell
Girl - Hi, can you slice me a 700k credits Krayt Scatter pistol for damage slice?
*woo woo woo.... looks like a big fish*
Me - I can't choose the sliced stats and i don't care how much you spend on you scatter
Girl - Yes, i know, but i told you what i wanted
*slicing gods, i hope you didn't listened.... o, i'm stupid.... they listen everything.... Ok, you'll got a crappy speed slice girl*
Me - as you want, i'm at science outpost
Girl - OMW
*few minuts later*
Girl - there i am
/target Girl.... nothing.... /target Gir... nothing... /Target Gi... nothing... /target G... targets Guivers startgdtrat (a commoner)
Me - Are you sure you are at science outpost?
Girl - Sh*t !
*a few seconds later*
Girl - there i am
/target Girl, targets Girl, going in front of her
Me - ok, let's make the deal, i charge, blablabla
*trade*
*gave me a crappy scatter pistol with 390/400 condition and already sliced*
Me - this scatter is already sliced.... You really payed it 700k?
Girl - yea... strange..... can you slice my carabin then?
Me - okip, no problem
*trade again, put a carabin in trade window*
*look at carabine*
Me - errr, it's at 55% condition, you should repair it BEFORE i slice it...
Girl - okip, i got a reapair kit on me
Me - repair it yourself (i'm the breaking boy when i repair stuff)
*trade, trade again, carabine back at good condition*
*slice... 20% speed*
Me - slicing gods...
PatrickAdrichem
Wed Dec 29, 2004 1:14 am
#1451
Lol nice posts.. This reminds me of a tailor thing, yeah i know offtopic but still =P
dude: Hi can you make me some clothes
me: yeah, but i only work via <webpage> then e-mail me the names and colour codes and i make em asap.
dude: Ok cool can you make me a jacket?
me: Sure, but there are tons of jackets and tons of colours please go to <webpage> and e-mail me the names and colour codes and i make em asap.
dude: Cool, well i want one in black then.
me: Err did you even read the previous lines?
dude: Yeah, you said you can make me one rite?
me: Rite you didn't read it again then..
/ignore dude
JohnHackworth
Wed Dec 29, 2004 12:00 pm
#1452
So I'm doing a bit of dirtside work, in between SA missions, and I get a tell:
Guy: "Can you slice some weapons for me?"
Me: "I'll be around the starport for another few minutes. How many items do you need done?"
Guy: "12 T21 rifles."
Me: "Fine. I slice for 10k per, non-negotiable."
Guy: "That's too much. I'll pay 3k, since that is the going rate. Where can I meet you?"
Me: "The going rate is what I say it is, especially since it's such a pain to slice these days with the tool nerf. Plus, you'll sell these things for 100k on average after they're sliced."
Guy: "I'll find someone else. Thx."
Me: *Thinks, Good luck finding another Master around... 5...4...3...2...1...*
Guy: "There are no other smugglers on. How about 5k?"
Me: "Do you understand what non-negotiable means?"
Guy: "You should really think about doing business with me. I make 3-400 weapons a week."
Me: "Actually, I have a permanent MWS partner, who splits her profits with me. Plus, who said I wanted to slice 400 weapons a week?"
Guy: "Dude, it's only money. What's the difference?"
Me: /bonk; /bodyslam; /addignore Guy
-Hack
Guy: "Can you slice some weapons for me?"
Me: "I'll be around the starport for another few minutes. How many items do you need done?"
Guy: "12 T21 rifles."
Me: "Fine. I slice for 10k per, non-negotiable."
Guy: "That's too much. I'll pay 3k, since that is the going rate. Where can I meet you?"
Me: "The going rate is what I say it is, especially since it's such a pain to slice these days with the tool nerf. Plus, you'll sell these things for 100k on average after they're sliced."
Guy: "I'll find someone else. Thx."
Me: *Thinks, Good luck finding another Master around... 5...4...3...2...1...*
Guy: "There are no other smugglers on. How about 5k?"
Me: "Do you understand what non-negotiable means?"
Guy: "You should really think about doing business with me. I make 3-400 weapons a week."
Me: "Actually, I have a permanent MWS partner, who splits her profits with me. Plus, who said I wanted to slice 400 weapons a week?"
Guy: "Dude, it's only money. What's the difference?"
Me: /bonk; /bodyslam; /addignore Guy
-Hack
DrevenStrobe
Wed Dec 29, 2004 12:35 pm
#1454
I was into Cnet from my house after I logged in one day so I could jump in my TIE and head somewhere else...anywhere else besides Corellia.
Anyway, I apparently forgot to /anon before I logged out, and when I logged back in, of course, I was tagged.
So, I'm having a nice conversation with an old friend of mine through /tells as I ride into Cnet when all of a sudden I get this exchange.
Guy1: "Hey, can you slice a weapon for me."
Me: "Sure, price is 10k."
Me: "Sure, price is 10k."
Guy1: "Say WHAT?!?"
Me thinking *oh here we go*: "10k"
Me thinking *oh here we go*: "10k"
Guy1: "You're kidding right?"
Me: "Nope...that's my price. 10k or no slice."
Guy1: "Slicing is only 100c / % increase."
Guy2: "Hey, can you slice a weapon for me."
Me *to Guy2*: "Sure...price is 10k."
Guy2: "Alright. Where can I meet you."
Me: "I'll be at the bank in 10 seconds, meet me there."
Guy1: "Why do you charge so much?"
Me *to Guy1 while I'm trading with Guy2*: "Because Slicing is a pain in the ass."
Me *to Guy2*: "Damage 28%"
Me: "Nope...that's my price. 10k or no slice."
Guy1: "Slicing is only 100c / % increase."
Guy2: "Hey, can you slice a weapon for me."
Me *to Guy2*: "Sure...price is 10k."
Guy2: "Alright. Where can I meet you."
Me: "I'll be at the bank in 10 seconds, meet me there."
Guy1: "Why do you charge so much?"
Me *to Guy1 while I'm trading with Guy2*: "Because Slicing is a pain in the ass."
Me *to Guy2*: "Damage 28%"
*watches happy customer*
Guy1: "Just do my weapon for 100 / %."
Me: "I'll tell you what. I'll charge what I want to charge. If you don't want to pay it. Don't! Just wait for the next guy to come along who's time isn't worth as much to them."
Me: "I'll tell you what. I'll charge what I want to charge. If you don't want to pay it. Don't! Just wait for the next guy to come along who's time isn't worth as much to them."
Guy1: "Fine I'll do that."
One happy customer, one idiot...all within a matter of seconds of each other. One of the highlights of the profession. And all of this was going on while I was still having a seperate conversation with my friend through /tells. Talk about /tell hell. And while I traded with Guy2, I ran my /notslicing macro that turns off my tag and makes me anon...so I avoided further delays in getting the hell off of Corellia.
SBRD0C
Wed Dec 29, 2004 11:50 pm
#1455
Obono wrote:
I had a strange evening at cnet a few nights ago. I had just stopped off at cnet to get my ship, when i get a tell from a wook wanting a slice. Simple enough slice, he goes away happy. Then this guy appears shouting that he needs a slicer and will be 20k for the job (I don't think he really looked for one as i was 10m away with my master smug title). After accepting the job, I find out the gun is a cdef carbine... 20k to slice a cdef carbine, easy money! While slicing the carbine i get notice the master doc near meis needing me to slice, ok i thought more money. Little did i know but he wanted his house terminal sliced.....
Why is it Cnet attracts the weirdos?
He or maybe a Friend of his that is just as new was probly reading the smuggler skillbox descriptions.. where it says that "many kinds of Terminals are slice-able"
Not sure if thats where it says it really, but I do remember reading it somewhere a long long time ago. Course that was before I learned that by that they meant that many many kinds of mission terminals are slice-able, and only one kind that isn't a mission term.
A few things we can Learn from this. A) Sony May have meant to make more things done with slicing. B) they have been too busy/lazy to do so. C) Nearly a year and a half after launch the New players still read the sme misleading documentation that we did 3 days after launch..meaning Sony still hasn't changed it.
I'm Glad they Hired 20 new devs.. they got one helluva backlog of work for them to do =)
zazo
Thu Dec 30, 2004 1:36 am
#1456
heh this is begining to rival the legendary "we are so in third" thread by mule on bria 
I miss mule
I miss muleanywho keep the faith me brothers 